Trying, can be very trying

[Macsauce]

conceiving is an artform to say the least​

For myself anyway. I have endometriosis and have a darling son already who is not my husbands son. So naturally I am trying to conceive our first child together to bring in unity of our relationship as a family. Problem, I am in no way shape or form having normal periods with the ability to even track whats going on

Last cycle i bled for 18 days... im pretty sure it officially started jan 26th. Not sure though due to prior bleeding days

So today should be the start of my normal period of 26 day cycle. But she doesn't want to comply with normalcy again. (AF)
So the last few days i havnt been trying to get my hopes up but ofcourse I took a test. What it looked like was a faint positive since the pink was showing in test but only in corners, weird. Im too afraid of testing again. Im sick of waisting money and hopes on a BFP when im getting shut down. Every month i read and pray and look for signs and even had a miscarriage on Christmas 15'.
So this month going back, I took the test 3 days ago... so cd day 23. I'm calling it a BFN. But my breasts have been so sore and the nipples have been swollen and blue veined. Along with now my first day of a missed period.
I keep getting tickles and pulls in my lower abdomen and have been really gassy and nauseous but not in pain like i usually am from severe endometriosis.

Im hopeing for some positive feedback that your in the same boat and its probably a bfn this month.

I just have been anxious to try to be pregnant since the last thing my doctor told me was to just get a hysterectomy. Im terrified if i dont conceive within the next year my husband will try to push the hysterectomy and i wont have any more chances of trying. Baby dust to everyone and wish me luck

 

[2ducks]

There is a book called "women's bodies, women's wisdom" by Dr. Christiane Northrup. In this book Dr. Northrup talks about how doctors are trained to push hysterectomies on women who don't need them.

Anyway, I am so sorry for your struggles. I can not directly relate to your specific troubles except to say that I am also having difficulties trying to conceive and know how emotionally draining it is. Have you gone to a fertility specialist? Since you have a severe condition I think it warrants heading straight to a specialist without having to wait the regular 12 months that most women have to wait before getting referred to an RE.

 

[Weebles]

I don't have personal experience but I do have a cousin who had severe endometriosis. She was able to conceive one last time to complete her family before her hysterectomy. Try to stay positive and full of hope. I don't know a lot about endometriosis but my cousin did not have the surgery until she was ready.. If it's not a life saving operation don't do it until you are ready. Your body, your choice.