Trying to make my hate my baby.

[sbrooke]

Hi all, I've posted on here a couple times now for health related reasons but I'm really going through something and I need some words.

My background on how I got pregnant, wasn't planned, and I'm young, but given my own reasons I decided to keep this child. That's just it.

The father and I were together throughout high school and out for 5 years, he became abusive at one time, and is a two-timing dog, basically. His family is nutso and is involved in a bunch of illegal things, but they're ecstatic for this pregnancy and his mother is overbearingly rude about it's "her" baby. For example, she told me "she has to pick a name for her baby, figure out where she wants the baby shower" and made a joke about using my child to steal from TJMaxx.

If that's not bad enough, my family hates him. I was so so in love and he took care of me through HS, I was attached and he would be like the "bad boy" and so basically they just hated him, plus the abusive thing that happened.... well that just killed anything he had left.

Sooo, I made a dumb dumb decision to lay down with him. I was lonely and I missed being comfortable (sad excuse) I know... but it happened. And no until later did I realize how much my life was going to change forever for it.

Since I got pregnant, I've gone into super mommy mode and somehow I have a completely different mindset. I don't even want to put myself through his BS anymore, I am super content with being alone, and I am getting used to the idea of doing this by myself.


But people are coming out of the wood work, left and right calling themselves "friends" really bringing me down on things I already know. I'm so sick of people telling me how horrible my life will be and to get an abortion when I am not asking them WHAT TO DO. I made my decision. People that don't even "check on me" otherwise. I know what I did was dumb, I know staying with him was dumb before that, but I had no self esteem, and no one was trying to help me build it up. Just told me how crappy the situation was that I was in. Very few fueled me with positive words before this, and now I'm just getting people's opinions left and right with even more messed up situations than mine.


As far as the father goes, the abuse has stopped but he is mentally immature and I can't trust him. I am struggling with my personal feelings, and allowing him to be a father. I know my child will love him dearly. Everything was not always so negative. I still love him, but I have finally let go. I don't know what the future holds.

At first I was somewhat happy, this is a blessing no matter what the situation is. But somehow people have infiltrated my mind and made me feel very NEGATIVE feelings about being pregnant. I often times don't want this baby. I'm telling my parents next week too, I'm feeling very overwhelmed. I would appreciate kind words please, as I look to this forum for support and I already feel my life is in shambles.

 

[StillPraying]

I'm sorry you are going through this
My first wasn't planned(I was 17) and I didn't want it but knew abortion was just not an option in my mind. I ended up miscarrying and I was devastated over the loss, even though many people told me "It's for the best."
My second wasn't planned either, and it made my life quite a bit complicated. But when she was born I knew she was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I can promise you that no matter how hard it may seem now, your baby will be worth it. You've made a brave decision not listening to those around you and choosing to give your baby life. All you can do now is take care of yourself, distance yourself away from the negativity and surround yourself with positive people. Making a bad decision doesn't make you a bad person, nor does it "ruin" your life forever. You are choosing to own up to the mistake and face the consequences. That's a sign of maturity, and Im sure you'll be a wonderful mother for it. I hope you find support in your family. If you need other support, I would research local "Pro-life Centers" in your area. They can provide counseling, information, and resources. hang in there. I promise it will get better if you let it.

 

[atx614]

I am sorry this is happening. You are already being a great mom with your decisions before the baby is here. Try not to listen to those who were not in your life previously, they are just wanting attention and to create drama. I hope you do not feel alone once you tell your fami,y. No matter who the father is, it will be their grand baby and I am sure they will love it no matter what.

 

[mcwhmm]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I went through a similar situation with my daughter. I got pregnant at 19 and me and her father stopped speaking when I was only 5 weeks pregnant. (Long story)

I had just started college and although my parents were happy when I told them about my pregnancy, about a week later, my mom and my brother were trying to talk me into getting an abortion. There reason being, they didn't think I could do it on my own. I even went to visit my brother and he tried to talk me into going to the clinic and getting an abortion while visiting him. I ignored all of this, although it was hard, in a way it, it just made me want to prove them wrong even more.

They eventually came around and my mom even came to my 20 week scan with me, went shopping with me, threw me a baby shower, and was in the room when my daughter was born. Now that my daughter is here, everybody is so happy that she is. Her "father" has never even laid eyes on her, but the way I see it is that he is the one missing out because I have one amazing daughter.

Try to keep your head up!

 

[sbrooke]

Thank you, your response mean so much. And I have had a loss before also, so this is a blessing you know. I should be grateful. I think it will all make sense when the baby is born.

 

[sbrooke]

I am sorry this is happening. You are already being a great mom with your decisions before the baby is here. Try not to listen to those who were not in your life previously, they are just wanting attention and to create drama. I hope you do not feel alone once you tell your fami,y. No matter who the father is, it will be their grand baby and I am sure they will love it no matter what.

You're right, I'm praying things go this way, as some people have told me this as well. Thanks for the reassurance. I want to be the best mom I can possibly be.

 

[sbrooke]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I went through a similar situation with my daughter. I got pregnant at 19 and me and her father stopped speaking when I was only 5 weeks pregnant. (Long story)

I had just started college and although my parents were happy when I told them about my pregnancy, about a week later, my mom and my brother were trying to talk me into getting an abortion. There reason being, they didn't think I could do it on my own. I even went to visit my brother and he tried to talk me into going to the clinic and getting an abortion while visiting him. I ignored all of this, although it was hard, in a way it, it just made me want to prove them wrong even more.

They eventually came around and my mom even came to my 20 week scan with me, went shopping with me, threw me a baby shower, and was in the room when my daughter was born. Now that my daughter is here, everybody is so happy that she is. Her "father" has never even laid eyes on her, but the way I see it is that he is the one missing out because I have one amazing daughter.

Try to keep your head up!

Aww, this makes me feel a world of better. Thank you for being an example of staying strong and going with your heart because I don't feel so alone. You are amazing...

 

[mcwhmm]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I went through a similar situation with my daughter. I got pregnant at 19 and me and her father stopped speaking when I was only 5 weeks pregnant. (Long story)

I had just started college and although my parents were happy when I told them about my pregnancy, about a week later, my mom and my brother were trying to talk me into getting an abortion. There reason being, they didn't think I could do it on my own. I even went to visit my brother and he tried to talk me into going to the clinic and getting an abortion while visiting him. I ignored all of this, although it was hard, in a way it, it just made me want to prove them wrong even more.

They eventually came around and my mom even came to my 20 week scan with me, went shopping with me, threw me a baby shower, and was in the room when my daughter was born. Now that my daughter is here, everybody is so happy that she is. Her "father" has never even laid eyes on her, but the way I see it is that he is the one missing out because I have one amazing daughter.

Try to keep your head up!

Aww, this makes me feel a world of better. Thank you for being an example of staying strong and going with your heart because I don't feel so alone. You are amazing...

Thanks I'm always here if you need to talk!