Ttc#1 and the men!

[heidi1130]

I'm jealous of those of you that have very supportive OH. My husband was the type that never wanted a child, let alone 2. He's doing this for me. I know he'll love the child as he is amazing with his DD, but he could take it or leave it so he's very withdrawn from the whole process. He hates hearing me gush about baby stuff or 'signs' which is why I'm so grateful I found this site. Everyone here is so understanding and supportive. He said he has no concern about the TTC or the pregnancy and that he'll be happy when the baby gets here. I think he's just worried about another m/c and how I'll handle it as I was completely devastated when it happened last time.

 

[BabyInWaiting]

My hubby is great...he's as excited about TTC as I am (honestly I think its because he loves the trying part) LoL...we were at my nephew's 1st bday party the other weekend & he whispered in my ear "I can't wait for us to have one of those"...it was soooo sweet He also really knows how to keep me grounded & comforts me when we have a & tells me we can always try again....

 

[court.]

BabyInWaiting that is So sweet of him, he sounds like a great guy

 

[lipsty]

Sometimes I think it's hard for OH to understand the want for a baby. The need and want to have a child is just in us as women!

I don't think so. My DH is as excited as I am. Men show their emotions differently, but that doesn't mean they're not feeling them I think that women get more involved because it's our bodies that we're having to monitor - I wouldn't want my DH to track my CM! Gross!

 

[HildieVK]

My OH is very supportive and excited to be a daddy. Unfortunately, I see it as him putting pressure on me. He doesn't want to get married until he knows we can have kids (which means we can't do any infertility checks on him since he doesn't have insurance and can't get on mine since we're not married). Sometimes, I want to be like "well, who the hell are you, King Henry the 8th? We can't get married until I prove I have viable ovaries and can produce you an heir?" It's also putting more pressure on me to "live like I'm pregnant"... Unless I have my period, I don't drink alcohol, no caffeine, no heavy lifting, etc. Sometimes I feel like my sole purpose is to be a baby factory... but I really WANT to be a baby factory, LOL!!!

He is sensitive to the fact that I really want to go out and have a few with our friends, and he is also pretty in tune with my cycle, so he checks before making plans with our friends, which I appreciate. I hate going out and drinking seltzer.

Before we started trying in earnest, I had a "wellll, maybe I am???" moment, and we went out with some friends, maybe around Christmas. he told EVERYONE that I wasn't drinking because I might be pregnant.

My OH also has a serious case of the COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS. He doesn't have that "how would she react if I said this" filter on his brain. So I go back and forth between thinking he a jerk, and then feeling like a jerk myself, because he really does have the best intentions.

He really is very excited, he can hardly wait for me to test too. I think he pretends like he's less excited so I stay calm.

And I'm having the best sex of my life, so it isn't all bad

 

[BabyInWaiting]

BabyInWaiting that is So sweet of him, he sounds like a great guy

Thanks, he is...when we got a :BFP: tonight he was beyond speechless...all he could do was hug & kiss me (after asking if it was an April Fool's Day joke)...then he called his whole fam. He's gonna be a great daddy.

 

[Baby4u14]

My hubby is very excited too!!! He wants a boy though....I want a girl!

 

[Sizzles]

Heidi - my hubby's more like yours, except that we don't have any children at present. He's always been like 'yeah, some day' and I think felt he couldn't put me off any longer with the old biological clock thing. So he's very much doing it for me because I want it so badly and because he loves me enough to do this even though it scares the hell out of him. Unfortunately it does mean he's not on board in the same way as many men, so we don't end up dtd as much as I feel is necessary and I daren't ask him to undergo any tests. I rely on forums for people who understand my primeval instinct and my obsessions!
However, I do think he'll be a great dad if we even get the chance to test it!

 

[Jasiellover]

Everytime I want my hubby to take something for TTC he does. He comes with me to every appointment even if hes been working for 3 days straight and it's in the morning. He talks to me about how excited he is for this to happen and how he wants twins. LOL love my hubby

 

[Jess137]

Wow, I'm a little jealous guys. It seems like my DH is going along with it because he knows it is what I want and understands that it is important to me. We always talked about having kids, we DO both want kids, he just doesn't seem too excited about it right now.

I know that he will be a great daddy, he is awesome with kids and enjoys playing with them. He just isn't excited about the process I guess. That's why I love B&B, I can talk to people about everything that he doesn't want to hear. (Like ovulation, PreSeed, softcups, etc.)

 

[bellahoney]

Aww im in love with husbands on here! I love the support during these times. We started bd already. Im keeping positive. I was not feeling that well today and he made me feel better by laying down with me

 

[morrighan]

I think we also have to remember that this puts a lot of pressure on them, too. My husband doesn't seem to stress over TTC as much as I do, but at the same time I know it weighs on his mind. (We've been trying for six months now.)

Keeping to a strict schedule can take all the spontaneity out of the sexual side of the relationship; he may start to feel like he's just a sperm donor, rather than a sexual partner. I make an extra effort to show him that I still want to be intimate with him even when timing isn't an issue.

I've been checked out on a few things, and all systems seem go....he is beginning to worry that he is the reason it hasn't happened yet. I think it's just because we waited till our thirties to start trying. My doctor isn't even going to do real tests until August, and is convinced it will happen before then.

I feel sorry for my husband sometimes. I know I can get obsessed with this, no matter my conscious attempts to let the anxiety go. And I also know that he gets stressed when he feels like he "has" to perform, or risk missing the target date. There have been a couple of months where we've just said forget it, and let it go for the time being.

But to the husband who sounds like Henry VIII...not judging, just saying that I wouldn't put up with that b.s. I am a wife and a hopefully soon-to-be mother-- not a brood mare. If my husband disrespected me like that, chaos would ensue.

 

[Baby4u14]

I'm using preseed this week! yay!

 

[ao30]

Husband wakes me up to take my temps every morning. Practically plops the thermometer in my mouth, lol.

Best listener in the world... and now knows more about the female reproductive system than any of my girlfriends. I'm constantly asking him if it's TMI, but he says he likes to know how things work and why.

One of the sweetest things he said to me during the last 13 months: "The problem is not with you. Or with me. We're a couple, a team, and if one of us can't make a baby happen, it just means that WE can't have one biologically. I will never blame you if we find out that we can't have children because there is something wrong with you. I will never imagine my life with someone else; I will never imagine my life with children with another person."

Also encourages baby clothing purchases what's not to love about that?