TTC #1- Looking for buddies!

[tbfromlv]

Thanks girls. You are all such a big support. I've been reading like crazy. Yes this is my 3rd one, in 6 months.

DH is getting his SA done finally. I also have asked the RE that comes down to my clinic once a month to do the DNA Fragmentation.

I just hate that I have so many things going against me. The endo (which I bet has a lot to do with all of this), my thyroid, the pcos... all of the above can cause chemicals/miscarriages. I'm scared to death of doing IVF and coming out with the same outcome. I'm also unsure about these hidden infections that Serum tests for. I can't seem to find a lot of research about it. Part of me is dying to do the testing but part of me doesn't want to waste my money on it.

I guess I will just wait and see what my doctor says. I just can't keep getting these BFPs only to be crushed and heartbroken a week later.

 

[SunnyBe]

I completely understand Tb! Keep in mind though that some of these things (PCOS) actually work in favor when it comes to IVF.

The hidden infections thing is also something I'm not completely convinced of (because of the lack of any real evidence). I'd say if it's cheap, do it, if it's not, leave it be.

Will you go for another draw?

 

[steph1607]

How are you feeling today TB?

And Sunny, how is everything with you? How many DPO, 5? 6?

 

[Dream143r]

Hope you're holding up okay TB.

Sunny are we still on for testing on Wednesday? I'm not feeling super optimistic today. Probably due to my nose dive temp. Who knows though, maybe its a implantation dip.

 

[tbfromlv]

That’s true Sunny. Yeah it’s like $300 for those hidden infections so I think I will pass. My doctors nurse emailed me and asked me to come for another draw today. And of course now my bbs are killing me? Not that I’m holding hope I’m just annoyed. Like it was a delayed reaction. Anyway I am up and down. Sometimes I’m very much like whatever and sometimes I am a mess!

Amber Steph- how you girls doing?

Dream and sunny I have my fingers crossed for you!!

 

[tbfromlv]

The nurse just said “IF. You miscarry, we will do a workup for both you and your husband” what do you mean IF.. come on lady. Don’t try to give me false hope when we both know better! Sorry for the vent.

 

[steph1607]

Vent all you want TB, hope is one thing, false hope is another. Will you get the blood results today?

I’m doing okay, had some period type pain (very mild) these past couple of days and my boobs area a little sore. 5 weeks 1 day today.

 

[tbfromlv]

I won’t be able to make it until about 4:00, but I’ve definitely gotten results back the same night.. it really depends on if the doctor looks at them tonight or not.

I hope you don’t get any MS like amber!

 

[SunnyBe]

Dream, we're on for Wednesday. I'll be 10 DPO and you'll be 9. Not expecting anything at all though.

Steph, 35 more to go!! Will you stay on progesterone until week 12? Are the shots getting any easier?

Tb, my doctor was the same, saying that there was still a chance and what not... I'm not sure if they truly believe that or just say that to make people feel better. I'm definitely not someone that appreciates false hope. That being said, did you do a FRER this morning, just to check?

 

[tbfromlv]

No I didn’t do a FReR and now I’m kind of wishing I did. And don’t think I’m having false hope but it made me go “wait, what if I am more of a every 72 hour doubler? Lol I know better Than this but I still wish I would have checked lol

Steph when is your appointment? The 5th??

 

[steph1607]

Did you get the results back yesterday TB?

Yep, I'll be on progesterone and oestrogen until 12 weeks. I'm not doing injections anymore, just the Cyclogest. Scan is 15th which kind of still feels like ages away, even though I know it's only 2 weeks and 2 days!

 

[tbfromlv]

Oh whoops I remember a 5 in the date that’s not far off! It’s like having another tww lol

Yeah results came back at 2.5 I also started bleeding overnight. I guess we will have the recurrent miscarriage workup to see if they can identify anything else causing this.

Sunny, Dream- testing tomorrow! Feeling anything?

Amber- have you Announced to the world yet?

 

[steph1607]

Haha yes because we all just love TWW's so much! A bit of a slow morning at work so of course I spent a little while researching girls names.

I know you were already pretty much certain of the outcome TB, but I'm sorry it's turned out that way for definite now. What kind of things will be looked at in the recurrent miscarriage work up?

Sunny and Dream, one day to go!!

 

[Dream143r]

Steph - the 15th does seem like forever away. I guess you can think of it like a TWW but those are torturous just the same. Ha - realizing that's exactly what tb wrote, great minds. Any names jumping out at your early? I'm hopeful for a boy but of course at this point I'll take whatever I am blessed with.

8dpo today I'm feeling positive because my temp went back up. I dunno to be honest I've given up trying to figure out before had if this cycle is 'the one'. My temps look like an implantation dip, which i've never had before but you will also notice all the open circles on my chart. I haven't been waking up at the same time each day, so that dip may not be entirely accurate.

 

[steph1607]

Got everything crossed for you Dream. Chart is looking lovely.

We've had a boy and a girl name picked out since the first year we got together, but my cousin had a baby a few weeks ago and gave her our girl's name sadly! I like quite a lot of girl names but my husband says no to most of them! He's so stupid, I asked him a few months ago to give me some names he liked and the only two he came out with after thinking for hours were Rosie and Lucy. His sister and my brother's wife. Give me strength!

 

[Dream143r]

L O L Steph, men are hilarious.

My DH is a thinker he will take the maximum allotted time to make any decision. I'm the complete opposite I make decisions quickly and once they're made I stick to them. I guess we balance each other out but it's very stressful at times. I know for sure when we do get a bfp I'll want to choose names asap and he will want to decide 2 weeks after the baby is born. lol

 

[SunnyBe]

So sorry Tb, I hope the tests point to something specific that can be easily fixed. How are you holding up? How's your DH? Have you thought about if you want to do IVF this summer? I was also thinking that if you want to try for a couple more months, you can probably still do both if you do a FET instead. Just go for a week around egg collection and go back for transfer during a long weekend.

Steph, ahh girls names You must be on Cloud 9 right now. The wait is horrible but think of it this way, when you do get your scan, you're much further along What was the girls name you initially picked?

Dream, your chart does look very interesting. Hope it leads to something good. I feel out already. Looking back, I can honestly say that last month felt really different from all the other months TTC. I wouldn't say I have any major PMS symptoms, but I definitely notice a difference between pre-O and post-O. Last month, I felt great and it mimicked pre-O. This month feels the same as any other month.

 

[tbfromlv]

Steph and Dream both of you made me giggle when I read that. we talk about names but I have had a girls name that I’ve loved for more than half my life so I told him he gets no say and he said ok haha! Boys names are harder for us.

Sunny that’s a good idea. Chances are I’d need to do an FET anyway. I’ll have to think about that one. I also hope you are wrong and you get a BFP in the next few days.

The nurse emailed me and said that both of us need to complete some labs and she wants to see us both in office (which of course isn’t until March 26) and some of the tests I cannot do until 2 months after the loss... ?? Not sure why but ok. She doesn’t know we are talking about IVF so this might be a good time for all that. I was thinking if I have PGD or PGS done during IVF you have to do FET anyway so there’s that. From what I read, they check for blood clotting issues, a “sticky blood” issue and some genetic issues. Then again I have plenty of other issues that could cause this stuff... I just would rather rule any of this out before I spend money on IVF

Emotionally I feel almost numb. I cried hard the first day and once in a while I tear up out of the blue but I think my heart has felt this pain so much that it’s building a wall for it. Idk it is up and down. I had THREE people announce new pregnancies on Facebook today.. all for August (which my last pregnancy would have been) so that didn’t help.

 

[AmberR]

Tb- my heart hurts for you dear. I hope you are able to get some answers with the testing. It sucks that you have to wait 2 months for some tests though! You have been through so much loss, I'm sure feeling numb is a defense that you have put up to protect your heart. I wish I could give you a hug. I know that there is nothing I can say to make you feel better, all I can say is we are here for you- vent away, whatever you need!!

Dream and Sunny- my fingers are crossed for you both this month!

Steph- how fun to be thinking of names! Men are so funny. My DH shoots down almost all my name suggestions. There is one boy and one girl name we have come to agreement on, but of course I'm not so sure about them anymore! Maybe I'm the difficult one

I told a few people at work finally! One of my coworkers knows about my miscarriage so she was extra happy for me. It feels like a little weight is lifted off, but I'm still worried about a loss at this point. I'm trying to stay positive!

 

[steph1607]

Worse is when he suggests Matthew as an alternative boys name when I have a brother called Matthew and his twin is called Matthew. I would say he does it to wind me up, but sadly he thinks it's genuinely a good idea.

Sunny, the girls name we always wanted was Isabelle, but my cousin just had an Isabella. I'm not close with my cousin but still. Welcome to test day, sorry you're not feeling very confident though

TB, this is such a horrid and cruel situation. Especially when you have had to go through this multiple times. I hope you are eventually able to get some answers as to why this has happened. I get the bit about feeling numb, I think when we have all been through the various things that have happened to us this past year, you begin to almost detach yourself emotionally. It's self preservation I think.

Amber I feel you, sometimes I wonder if I still like names that I've always said I like! I'm glad you feel like at least a little weight has been lifted off. Hopefully more will continue to lift each week and in a few weeks time you can start to really relax and enjoy it. You've made it to 12 weeks - that's amazing, you've got this