Scarlet369
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Just wondering how you're doing. Hope all is well
TTC #1 on cd19 looking for buddies
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DiscoRia
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Hey, I'm sorry to hear that your OH is getting to you. I hope things are better now? Wedding planning is STRESSFUL - expecially when you aren't really doing that much but it's just looming over your head... been there and done that for several months!!! Ther worst part for me was feeling that I wanted to get going but didn't want to make all the decisions myself, so I was always waiting on my OH... and he was never that motivated... but still wanted to be involved. GRRRR! I feel for you 
xx
I input all my paper temps into my OV app before the new year and looked at what it had to say. It was then that I realised that my cycles were all over the place and I am pretty sure there were 2 months when I didn't OV and 2 or 3 months when we didn't bd at the right times. Strangely enough this made me feel better about the fact we've been trying for so long... it's almost halved the amount of time we've actually been 'trying' for! Yes, strange logic I know.
All of the above is to say that having a year of data under your belt is going to help so much when you start ttc again
I would say get to temping too, if you have the time to do it, it can really help to pinpoint ov. Are you opking? I would do that before you start ttc again too. If I'd know then what I know now, I would have opked the whole time! BUT I'm definitely in a different place now.
I was really obsessed with babies and ttc and it took me to a pretty dark, insecure place, so I've been really trying to let go a little bit. I cannot be in control of this! I can only do my best and wait for my turn
I've been trying not to constantly think about it, rather I've been taking time on my walk to and from the train station to repeat some positive affirmations and to think, hope and dream in a more focused, positive way.
It may sound a little wacko, but I think it's helping. I am way less stressed about it, my period this cycle was way better with zero spotting afterwards, my temp chart looks almost picture perfect (for 3 or 4 dpo anyway) and I've had like 3x as much ewcm as I've had in any cycles in the past 12 months.
I feel like my hormones actually have a chance to function properly instead of having stress hormones ruin my cycles!! Now I just have to stay productive and positive throughout the rest of my tww!
We booked our legal ceremony recently and it's going to be on the 28th of March, so one of our goals for the weekend is to look at honeymoon prices and whatnot so we can get a better idea of what we can afford and for how long before we request our time off work. I'm going to be cheeky and as for 4 unpaid days off so that I can get nearly the whole of April off work!!
We went out to our favourite Japanese restaurant in Milan last night as it was our 8 year anniversary. It's hard to find a good Japanese place here. There are a lot of sushi places, but they tend to be run by Korean or Chinese people and it's JUST sushi... and not very good sushi either. This place is in the suburbs, in a random little spot, quiet, hidden and REALLY good
So we ate alot, got home late and slept in late too I love weekends!
Ok, I've written a small essay now, haha. I will let you know how it goes. I don't know when I'll next be on here because I rarely come on the internet on my laptop anymore, just use my phone to check facebook and emails every now and then. But I haven't forgotten you Take Care xx
xxI input all my paper temps into my OV app before the new year and looked at what it had to say. It was then that I realised that my cycles were all over the place and I am pretty sure there were 2 months when I didn't OV and 2 or 3 months when we didn't bd at the right times. Strangely enough this made me feel better about the fact we've been trying for so long... it's almost halved the amount of time we've actually been 'trying' for! Yes, strange logic I know.
All of the above is to say that having a year of data under your belt is going to help so much when you start ttc again
I would say get to temping too, if you have the time to do it, it can really help to pinpoint ov. Are you opking? I would do that before you start ttc again too. If I'd know then what I know now, I would have opked the whole time! BUT I'm definitely in a different place now. I was really obsessed with babies and ttc and it took me to a pretty dark, insecure place, so I've been really trying to let go a little bit. I cannot be in control of this! I can only do my best and wait for my turn
I've been trying not to constantly think about it, rather I've been taking time on my walk to and from the train station to repeat some positive affirmations and to think, hope and dream in a more focused, positive way. It may sound a little wacko, but I think it's helping. I am way less stressed about it, my period this cycle was way better with zero spotting afterwards, my temp chart looks almost picture perfect (for 3 or 4 dpo anyway) and I've had like 3x as much ewcm as I've had in any cycles in the past 12 months.
I feel like my hormones actually have a chance to function properly instead of having stress hormones ruin my cycles!! Now I just have to stay productive and positive throughout the rest of my tww!
We booked our legal ceremony recently and it's going to be on the 28th of March, so one of our goals for the weekend is to look at honeymoon prices and whatnot so we can get a better idea of what we can afford and for how long before we request our time off work. I'm going to be cheeky and as for 4 unpaid days off so that I can get nearly the whole of April off work!!
We went out to our favourite Japanese restaurant in Milan last night as it was our 8 year anniversary. It's hard to find a good Japanese place here. There are a lot of sushi places, but they tend to be run by Korean or Chinese people and it's JUST sushi... and not very good sushi either. This place is in the suburbs, in a random little spot, quiet, hidden and REALLY good
So we ate alot, got home late and slept in late too I love weekends!Ok, I've written a small essay now, haha. I will let you know how it goes. I don't know when I'll next be on here because I rarely come on the internet on my laptop anymore, just use my phone to check facebook and emails every now and then. But I haven't forgotten you
Take Care xx
DiscoRia
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Also, it is a little depressing that those people who got their bfp now have thier babies. Same with my friend from back home who got pg within a week of trying. But their experience isn't part of ours, we cannot constantly compare ourselves to others... it is soul destroying!
They are so lucky to have their babies and when we get ours we will consider ourselves among the happiest, luckiest people to have ever lived!!! And that amazing feeling, that life long experience is worth waiting for, it's worth the highs and the lows and the trying and the heartache and it really, REALLY is going to be amazing, I promise xx
They are so lucky to have their babies and when we get ours we will consider ourselves among the happiest, luckiest people to have ever lived!!! And that amazing feeling, that life long experience is worth waiting for, it's worth the highs and the lows and the trying and the heartache and it really, REALLY is going to be amazing, I promise
xx
Scarlet369
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Hi wondering how you are doing? I sometimes stalk your other posts to see if youve been on recently but I see its been a couple weeks now.
SOoooo we're in the 6month stretch now Bad news is: That means we have to wait 6 more months UGH
Wedding planning is going great, we have dress, halls, and pastor paid in full, deposits on cake and photos. NO deposit required as of now for caterer which is great. A family member has offered to pay for my entire bridal show due to the fact that my bridal party is small and young. MY mom would never let her pay for the entire thing but it really has lifted a bit of stress off my shoulders and my sisters for that matter.
NEw guilty pleasure: spending hours at a time looking through bump threads. I love them! cant wait to see what mine will look like someday
SOoooo we're in the 6month stretch now
Bad news is: That means we have to wait 6 more months UGHWedding planning is going great, we have dress, halls, and pastor paid in full, deposits on cake and photos. NO deposit required as of now for caterer which is great. A family member has offered to pay for my entire bridal show due to the fact that my bridal party is small and young. MY mom would never let her pay for the entire thing but it really has lifted a bit of stress off my shoulders and my sisters for that matter.
NEw guilty pleasure: spending hours at a time looking through bump threads. I love them! cant wait to see what mine will look like someday
DiscoRia
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Just a quick note to say that I'm good, waiting to OV, but I'm not sure if I'm going to opk this month or not because we're off on honeymoon next month, so I feel ambivalent about getting a bfp this month.
I feel a little ridiculous because I want a baby SO bad, I guess I feel like if I don't get pg this month I won't be as sad because we're going to Japan in April, so I'll be able to enjoy sake and sashimi without having to worry.
On the other hand, I would love to have such an amazing excuse as to why I couldn't enjoy those things.
I'm really glad that wedding planning is going so well for you both our legal ceremony is at the end of this month and my mum and sister are coming over for a few days which will be nice. I'm also going to be off work for almost ALL of april, which will be even better 
I am really glad to hear you're doing well xx
I feel a little ridiculous because I want a baby SO bad, I guess I feel like if I don't get pg this month I won't be as sad because we're going to Japan in April, so I'll be able to enjoy sake and sashimi without having to worry.
On the other hand, I would love to have such an amazing excuse as to why I couldn't enjoy those things.
I'm really glad that wedding planning is going so well for you both
our legal ceremony is at the end of this month and my mum and sister are coming over for a few days which will be nice. I'm also going to be off work for almost ALL of april, which will be even better I am really glad to hear you're doing well xx
Scarlet369
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I know it's around af time so just popping in to say I'm hoping for some good news when this thread pops up!
Scarlet369
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Also forgot to tell you I got a job at a daycare! In the infant room of course, just my luck another reminder of babies. Also just found out OHs uncles girlfriend has fallen pregnant. Very excited and don't resent it at all, but is it bad to feel like I am competing to try and get pregnant before their baby is born? I almost feel like it's taken the joy out of it, like "oh whatever, the family just got a new baby, they arent going to be excited for a second" Since OH has a son, our baby wont be the first grandchild, and his father refused to let Sebastion call him grandfather, so already worried how hell be. I hope I don't sound selfish, I truly am happy for them it's their first baby... I have no idea if it's planned or not but I can tell they're overjoyed. Sorry for my little anxious rant. Glad I have you to tell my concerns to though.
Scarlet369
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Another update, went to have physical today and my doctor is very concerned about my blood pressure being high. Have to take everyday for 2 weeks. Kinda freaking out which guessing is increasing it more... ugh
DiscoRia
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Somehow I completely missed your posts but they didn't show up in my feed 
I know what you mean about the competition thing. MY best friend and her hubby have started trying. They're on their 2nd cycle atm and as happy as I am for them, I don't want her to get pg before me... I would be so sad inside... then I shake myself out of it and think rationally. I don't want anyone to have to go through years of heartache, let alone my best friend... then the little green eyes monster sneaks in and says, well, they can get pregnant quickly as long as it's after me! OR its ok if they get pg quickly, because she's already in her mid thirties, so they need to get on the case! Ugh, I hate feeling like this!!!
As you may have guessed, I'm not pregnant. We hardly bd'd at all this month, but I think it was partly because I gave up a little bit and partly because we are going on honeymoon in two days and it's a nice excuse to not have to ttc.
SO, we're ntnp this month and maybe for a few months after that.
Even though I was feeling more relaxed about ttc, I realise just how obsessed and stressed out I really was and I am convinced that is part of the reason why I am not getting pregnant.
I want to truly change my way of thinking and my way of feeling. I want to do my part (bd and be healthy) and really just let go and have faith in the universe. I want to have a baby, I deserve to have the thing I want most and I will have it when I am truly ready.
I want to concentrate on getting healthy. We've been bad with food this year, not eating so well and I quit my 2nd job to make sure I get enough rest and have enough me time. We have started sprouting (YUMMY!) and making healthy lunches at home and I want to lose the weight I put on since the wedding (and a little more) which wil help ttc too. We are thinking of joining a yoga class together and now the weather is finally getting nicer, we have more outdoor oppotunities to get moving too.... basically the nicer weather has motivated me to MOVE and EAT well
Sorry, I feel like this has just been a big ramble, but it's nice to talk to someone about it who isn't my husband!
I also decided to stop temping, stop tracking my period and mucus and other symptoms, I've stopped opking too. I need to stop relying on those things and just be still and listen to my body. When I am less needy and feeling stronger, maybe I'll start to use those things again, but really as secondary tools, not as life or death indicators of how to have a baby... because they obviously don't work that way for me!
How is your bp? How are you feeling in general? I hope that everything worked out ok!! I've had a couple of high reading in the past, but they have usually been because I was pretty nervous at the time. I really hope it was just a temporary glitch for you xx
I don't know if I'll be on here while in Japan, probably won't check in until late April, so I hope that you enjoy some lovely spring weather, that your health is in tip top condition and that your wedding plans are all going well xx
I know what you mean about the competition thing. MY best friend and her hubby have started trying. They're on their 2nd cycle atm and as happy as I am for them, I don't want her to get pg before me... I would be so sad inside... then I shake myself out of it and think rationally. I don't want anyone to have to go through years of heartache, let alone my best friend... then the little green eyes monster sneaks in and says, well, they can get pregnant quickly as long as it's after me! OR its ok if they get pg quickly, because she's already in her mid thirties, so they need to get on the case! Ugh, I hate feeling like this!!!
As you may have guessed, I'm not pregnant. We hardly bd'd at all this month, but I think it was partly because I gave up a little bit and partly because we are going on honeymoon in two days and it's a nice excuse to not have to ttc.
SO, we're ntnp this month and maybe for a few months after that.
Even though I was feeling more relaxed about ttc, I realise just how obsessed and stressed out I really was and I am convinced that is part of the reason why I am not getting pregnant.
I want to truly change my way of thinking and my way of feeling. I want to do my part (bd and be healthy) and really just let go and have faith in the universe. I want to have a baby, I deserve to have the thing I want most and I will have it when I am truly ready.
I want to concentrate on getting healthy. We've been bad with food this year, not eating so well and I quit my 2nd job to make sure I get enough rest and have enough me time. We have started sprouting (YUMMY!) and making healthy lunches at home and I want to lose the weight I put on since the wedding (and a little more) which wil help ttc too. We are thinking of joining a yoga class together and now the weather is finally getting nicer, we have more outdoor oppotunities to get moving too.... basically the nicer weather has motivated me to MOVE and EAT well
Sorry, I feel like this has just been a big ramble, but it's nice to talk to someone about it who isn't my husband!
I also decided to stop temping, stop tracking my period and mucus and other symptoms, I've stopped opking too. I need to stop relying on those things and just be still and listen to my body. When I am less needy and feeling stronger, maybe I'll start to use those things again, but really as secondary tools, not as life or death indicators of how to have a baby... because they obviously don't work that way for me!
How is your bp? How are you feeling in general? I hope that everything worked out ok!! I've had a couple of high reading in the past, but they have usually been because I was pretty nervous at the time. I really hope it was just a temporary glitch for you xx
I don't know if I'll be on here while in Japan, probably won't check in until late April, so I hope that you enjoy some lovely spring weather, that your health is in tip top condition and that your wedding plans are all going well xx
Scarlet369
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BP has been up and down, one day its great the next day high. The doctor said its not worthy of medication but he still wants me to monitor it until my next follow up April 6th. Unfortunately I have some other bad news.
Back story: A few years back I had been experiencing some stomach pains we assumed were related to kidney stones. I was sent for urine and blood work and a ultra sound but after a couple days the pains went away and I was scheduled to work on the day of my followup appointment. I figured that since the doctor never called me, that it was confirmed that I had kidney stones and it was no big deal.
Present: At my physical my doctor informed me he had actually never even received the results of the ultrasound and due to my highblood pressure wanted me to go have the u/s place fax them over in case it was related. So I go back for my TB test reading and hear "well, your ultrasound wasnt normal and thats not good" (BTW the doctor never even checked my TB test, I guess he assumed I wasnt at risk, didnt have a mark anyway but youd think hed actually look at something he signed off on) So anyway, long story short, I had cysts on both my kidneys and a "unknown" spot on my spleen. So I got blood work and urine tests again and have to go for a CTscan when my insurance clears in 90 days. Very worried I am sick although I am trying to think about all the positives like, "shadows show up on u/s all the time" "at least the spleen is a useless organ anyway" "no worries kidneys have regen" Trying to decide if I want to just wait til I can have the CTscan or go for another u/s and see if everything has gone away as I know Kidney cysts can be caused from infections also.
Also wondering if I should get checked for ovarian cysts now, since that would explain my conception difficulties, but thinking we'll just see how it all plays out the next few months.
Wondering if I should even try getting pregnant for awhile now as I dont want a baby to stop me from being able to get treatment if I need it.
I hope you have a wonderful honeymoon and I am sure you'll be coming back to a dozen messages from me. Again I am so thankful to have you there even if its sometimes weeks before I hear back it feels so good to just tell someone how I feel who is distant from the situation. WHo isnt lecturing me about being too negative, or conception strategies. (today at Easter dinner my mother and cousin gave OH stern disapproval when I told them he wont have sex everyday when we are ttc, because since their husbands were ok with being forced to have sex every single day for 20+ days obviously all men should be- some serious eyerolling was exchanged between OH and myself).
Cant wait to hear about Japan, and Happy Easter!
Back story: A few years back I had been experiencing some stomach pains we assumed were related to kidney stones. I was sent for urine and blood work and a ultra sound but after a couple days the pains went away and I was scheduled to work on the day of my followup appointment. I figured that since the doctor never called me, that it was confirmed that I had kidney stones and it was no big deal.
Present: At my physical my doctor informed me he had actually never even received the results of the ultrasound and due to my highblood pressure wanted me to go have the u/s place fax them over in case it was related. So I go back for my TB test reading and hear "well, your ultrasound wasnt normal and thats not good" (BTW the doctor never even checked my TB test, I guess he assumed I wasnt at risk, didnt have a mark anyway but youd think hed actually look at something he signed off on) So anyway, long story short, I had cysts on both my kidneys and a "unknown" spot on my spleen. So I got blood work and urine tests again and have to go for a CTscan when my insurance clears in 90 days. Very worried I am sick although I am trying to think about all the positives like, "shadows show up on u/s all the time" "at least the spleen is a useless organ anyway" "no worries kidneys have regen" Trying to decide if I want to just wait til I can have the CTscan or go for another u/s and see if everything has gone away as I know Kidney cysts can be caused from infections also.
Also wondering if I should get checked for ovarian cysts now, since that would explain my conception difficulties, but thinking we'll just see how it all plays out the next few months.
Wondering if I should even try getting pregnant for awhile now as I dont want a baby to stop me from being able to get treatment if I need it.
I hope you have a wonderful honeymoon and I am sure you'll be coming back to a dozen messages from me. Again I am so thankful to have you there even if its sometimes weeks before I hear back it feels so good to just tell someone how I feel who is distant from the situation. WHo isnt lecturing me about being too negative, or conception strategies. (today at Easter dinner my mother and cousin gave OH stern disapproval when I told them he wont have sex everyday when we are ttc, because since their husbands were ok with being forced to have sex every single day for 20+ days obviously all men should be- some serious eyerolling was exchanged between OH and myself).
Cant wait to hear about Japan, and Happy Easter!
DiscoRia
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Scarlett, I am so sorry to see your bad news *hug*
Did you decide to wait for the ct scan or go for another ultrasound?
That's such a shock... positive thinking is definitely the way to go hun. We draw things to ourselves through our actions and our actions are manifestations of our thoughts, so try to stay positive. *hug*
I'm a little worried seeing as you haven't posted since the news, I really hope everything is ok!
Let me know how you're doing and if there is anything I can possibly do for you xx xx
Did you decide to wait for the ct scan or go for another ultrasound?
That's such a shock... positive thinking is definitely the way to go hun. We draw things to ourselves through our actions and our actions are manifestations of our thoughts, so try to stay positive. *hug*
I'm a little worried seeing as you haven't posted since the news, I really hope everything is ok!
Let me know how you're doing and if there is anything I can possibly do for you xx xx
Scarlet369
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I haven't made any choice yet, just been focusing on my job and the wedding. Tell me about your honeymoon
Scarlet369
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You've been gone a while, been hoping to hear from you. How are things
DiscoRia
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Hey, it's taken me a really long time to get back into the swung of things! I've been doing yoga a couple if times a week at home and also a little in the morning and it's really heeling me all round, but it's also making me tired!
I will post some pictures of the honeymoon soon (when i'm not on my phone), words can't do it justice!
My cycles are all over the place, so just trying to loosely keep track while ntnp for now.
I hope things are good on your end xx
I will post some pictures of the honeymoon soon (when i'm not on my phone), words can't do it justice!
My cycles are all over the place, so just trying to loosely keep track while ntnp for now.
I hope things are good on your end xx
Scarlet369
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So oh and I are ntnp, the whole wtt thing was never really working anyways since we never really used any protection. Today after sex I noticed there was some blood on his lower abdomen right above his penis, I went to wipe it off and noticed it was a clump like... almost like a bloody clear booger or ewm with stringy blood about the size of my pinky nail... sry I know this iS waaay tmi, but have you ever experienced this? I don't know if it's a sign I ovulated... or even maybe conceived, this has never happened before.
DiscoRia
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Hey, this could be OV or implantation or could be a bit of blood just due to the mechanics of sex (ie cervical bruising). Did you take a test?
How is everything else for you? How's your health?
As for me, my last cycle after Japan was 45 days long and thud one seemed to be heading that way too. I took a test 2 Saturdays ago, it was negative and put me on a downer. I'm day 45 today, still have no period, but on and off PMS symptoms, so I tested today and BFP!!!!! On 5 tests, including a digi which says I conceived 2-3 Weeks ago. I worked out it must have happened 14-16 days ago due to our slow sex life, so it all matches
I'm over the moon excited, worried and exhausted. I'm just over flowing with emotion and had to let you know
I Hope you're doing well, I just know your baby is on it's way. I hope mine sticks around!
Baci xx
How is everything else for you? How's your health?
As for me, my last cycle after Japan was 45 days long and thud one seemed to be heading that way too. I took a test 2 Saturdays ago, it was negative and put me on a downer. I'm day 45 today, still have no period, but on and off PMS symptoms, so I tested today and BFP!!!!! On 5 tests, including a digi which says I conceived 2-3 Weeks ago. I worked out it must have happened 14-16 days ago due to our slow sex life, so it all matches
I'm over the moon excited, worried and exhausted. I'm just over flowing with emotion and had to let you know
I Hope you're doing well, I just know your baby is on it's way. I hope mine sticks around!
Baci xx
Scarlet369
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So, it is 1am in Buffalo N.Y. and I stayed up late tonight to look at hotel prices for our wedding night and honeymoon! I popped on here to check in and there is your post, made me burst into tears! I'm little extra emotional since it's late and af showed up today, but I am sooooooooooooo happy for you! It just makes me feel like it's possible for me, that there you have been this whole time, going through everything I have been and you're going to have a baby in 38ish weeks! I hope you keep me up to date! I'm so excited for you!
Scarlet369
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Afm-I've been pretty good, allergies have been kicking my butt! Will be getting health insurance through work soon so that's good I can go have my tests done. I've been considering getting a cbfm, I just feel likeIt has such good reviews, and tempting didnt help, ntnp didn't help... I dunno wtf to do, but my periods have been more regular again, 27-29 days the last 4-5 mos and I feel like thats a good sign my body is more relaxed and ready to try again. Im doing Tae Kwon-do now too so I'm getting steady exercise 3 days a week now, with that and my job, I'm so busy on my time off I don't really have time to think about babies cause it's all wedding stuff, like tonight! My bridal shower is June 30th so we are planning that, we still have a lot of wedding stuff to do. Thankfully km supposed to be ovulating sometime during our honeymoon so hoping if it hasn't happened by then, the time off will help hopefully.
CONGRATS AGAIN, I'm truly so happy for you I can't wait to tag along for the ride with you!
CONGRATS AGAIN, I'm truly so happy for you I can't wait to tag along for the ride with you!
