I'm trying hard TTC #1, DH says if it happens it happens. I already know from my doctor that I am not ovulating every month or at all. Have been taking pregnitude for a few months now but seems on my bbt chart I did not ovulate this month. DH seems reluctant to have me on clomid (hes afraid of the big change of having a baby). I have been off of birth control since January 2013. Any advice on getting my DH more on board? And also, at what point does he need to be tested for fertility and how in the world do I bring that up to him?
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Ttc #1
- Thread starter luana
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Christi85
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I thought I'd respond. First things first - you and your husband need to both be on board on wanting to have a baby. Men tend to have a more nonchalant attitude on this, and this is fine, but it's one thing if he's just cool about it (as in, 'yes, I want a baby, but let's not go crazy with TTC'), and another thing if he's not even sure he wants a baby in the first place. Assuming that you two can get on board and agree that you want to try to start a family, there's a few things to consider:
1) if you're only ovulating sporadically, that in itself is a reason why you're not pregnant yet. Ask your doctor to check you for PCOS or other possible problems that may be causing your irregular cycles. Yes, you do need help ovulating if this isn't happening on its own - Clomid or Femara have worked for many ladies, while others need more of a boost and are put on injectables. If lack of ovulation is the only problem found, then your doctor may want to consider treating you with IUI (intra-uterine insemination) with one or a combination of the above drugs for a higher chance of success.
2) Generally speaking, if you have been trying for 12 months without success, it's a good idea for both parts of the couple to go get checked. They do a whole bunch of tests to determine the cause of infertility. So anytime from now on would be suitable to have your husband do a semen analysis.
Now, as to bringing it up to your husband, that's the hardest part because you know your husband better than any of us. I'd start a conversation at a moment when you are both calm and in a good mood, perhaps show him some studies etc. (since male factor infertility is actually quite common) and see if he can be convinced to come on board. If not, you may have to wait for him to come on board, which may take some time. The most important thing is for both of you to agree that a baby is wanted and would be welcome. As long as he wants it too, he will eventually decide to be tested, especially if you regulate your ovulation with medication and a baby still doesn't come. Men are more 'slow burning' so to speak, but eventually it should dawn on him that it's been a long time without a pregnancy. In the meantime, keep talking to him about it with every opportunity, showing him data if possible, so that the idea keeps playing into his head. He may just need time to adjust to reality.
1) if you're only ovulating sporadically, that in itself is a reason why you're not pregnant yet. Ask your doctor to check you for PCOS or other possible problems that may be causing your irregular cycles. Yes, you do need help ovulating if this isn't happening on its own - Clomid or Femara have worked for many ladies, while others need more of a boost and are put on injectables. If lack of ovulation is the only problem found, then your doctor may want to consider treating you with IUI (intra-uterine insemination) with one or a combination of the above drugs for a higher chance of success.
2) Generally speaking, if you have been trying for 12 months without success, it's a good idea for both parts of the couple to go get checked. They do a whole bunch of tests to determine the cause of infertility. So anytime from now on would be suitable to have your husband do a semen analysis.
Now, as to bringing it up to your husband, that's the hardest part because you know your husband better than any of us. I'd start a conversation at a moment when you are both calm and in a good mood, perhaps show him some studies etc. (since male factor infertility is actually quite common) and see if he can be convinced to come on board. If not, you may have to wait for him to come on board, which may take some time. The most important thing is for both of you to agree that a baby is wanted and would be welcome. As long as he wants it too, he will eventually decide to be tested, especially if you regulate your ovulation with medication and a baby still doesn't come. Men are more 'slow burning' so to speak, but eventually it should dawn on him that it's been a long time without a pregnancy. In the meantime, keep talking to him about it with every opportunity, showing him data if possible, so that the idea keeps playing into his head. He may just need time to adjust to reality.
