TTC and Beyond!

[HWPG]

i know! although, it doesnt seem real. seriously, if i wasnt a psycho ttc-er, and didnt know exactly when my period is, i'm not sure i would "know". my gf was like, "oh, i was late, so i tested". me: "1dpo, 2dpo, 3dpo...... ". Otherwise, i have no symptoms. occasional cramps. but nothing else worth noting. i'm a tad jealous you're still getting prog bw - i cant wait to see what your numbers are - i'm kinda using you as my guideline. my first scan is 12/18 (at 7+2)

 

[Disneybaby26]

Yessssss, Amelia!!!! So happy to see you here!!

 

[goldstns]

Disney- your tiny! and adorable!

telling the boss: since DH and I work together we told our boss asap because of doc apts and sickness. I told him that we were high risk, so keep it between us. He understood because his wife was high risk. So I think it was maybe like 7 weeks when I told him. He was supportive and said I will not ask questions but feel free to tell me anything you need to.

 

[SmallTownGal]

I just saw the link to this group on the ttc group (some how missed it till now).

Morgan, can you add me with the other ttc'ers on the front page (I'm missing). Might mostly just stalk a little until/if I get PG, but I'd defo like to join in when/if I get PG.

A belated congrats to Emily for having her baby boy! Hope everything went well!

Glad your boss is being supportive, Nikki! Sorry you've been having a high risk hard time!

 

[wavescrash]

Amanda that's nuts, I really hope he doesn't go to the school! That's SO not her place. Have you though about asking Autumn a few questions. Not suggesting that OH is doing anything at all but maybe that would help appease your mom?

Amanda-wow jesus she sounds looney. But I would worn your other half, because if she over thinks everything it could get out of hand. I can't wait until you get out.

Waves, so sorry, that sounds like a pain. I would be very cautious, because if that info gets into the wrong hands, an investigation will most likely be started. That is a can of beans that I would NOT want to open.

Waves- thats crazy!! Isn't she the one that is a heavy drinker? That will work in your favor if it gets out of hand.

Wow, waves. That is just.. insane. I would be SO pissed. It is not her place AT ALL to call the school counselor!!! I understand she is just "concerned" but i'd have to tell to mind her own damn business. It sounds like she's really upset your leaving and now trying to find a way to make you rethink moving out.

Hahahahaa OMG Waves she sounds just like my dad's mom.. a bit loony and overbearing etc., etc. lol.. Jeez.

Maybe say hey OH- my mom asked if I thought maybe YOU had caused those bruises, wanted to make sure you weren't playing too hard or whatnot (don't mention that she blatantly ACCUSED him of all that nonsense) so that he knows it's in her mind. Just so he makes sure to be extra careful while crazy Gma is watching. Lmao he so does not look that way at all, looks very sweet and loving. She probably is just psycho about you leaving and CLEARLY wants to be the mother here. Of Hannah, too. I would be mad too, esp bc she may really be serious. Haha sounds like she's got some loose bolts, glad you're getting outta there and I hope that you can rescue Leah too lol. GL on this one! Less than 2 weeks to go

Wow. That is crazy. You know if she says something to a school counselor or a teacher, they are obligated to report it right?

Thanks ladies. I hadn't even thought of the fact that the school would be obligated to report something but when y'all pointed that out, I nearly flew into a fit of rage at work haha. She mentioned she had talked to my dad so I text him about it and he didn't have much to say other than she had in fact called him so I told him to ignore whatever she said, she's crazy. I told my sister and she said my mom never told her she feared abuse but that she didn't think OH was doing enough to support us and was worried we couldn't make it on our own again.

To whoever asked, yeah... she's the drinker. Other than knowing it's absolutely NOT true, that's how I know she's wrong. She's just freaking crazy delusional from her drinking habits.

I never said anything to OH because I didn't see him for more than a few minutes this morning before I ran out the door to work and Hannah was awake, I was running late. I decided I'd take Autumn out for ice cream after work, just her & I to talk about things. I let her know about the apartment (for anyone who isn't aware, she's in my parent's custody - has been for 7 years now - and won't be moving with us this month. She'll live with us over the summer and hopefully after a 1 year lease we can afford to upgrade to a bigger apartment and regain custody) and asked if she was okay with us moving out. Fortunately she is because she doesn't want to leave her friends/school just yet.

Then I told her I had a serious question to ask her. Told her that I needed the absolute truth even if she thought the answer would make me upset because she wasn't in trouble no matter what her answer would be. I flat out asked her if OH has ever hit her. She had the most dumbfounded look on her face and said no. I asked if she was afraid of him for any reason at all and again, she looked so confused and said "Why would I be? He's my dad." So uh yeah... needless to say she didn't seem to be lying or covering for him. I asked her if she knew that she could tell me if someone (daddy or anyone else) was hurting her or scaring her, even if they told her not to tell me... that it was okay and she should tell me. She said she knows that and went about eating her ice cream.

After the kids went to bed I went to fill my mom in and after I told her about Autumn's answers, she said she watched Hannah with OH all day to see if she noticed any signs of fear or anything like that (Hannah flinching or something else) and she didn't see anything and she's glad she was wrong.

I'm glad she's moved past it so quickly but I'm angry now that she's already told my dad and stepdad she suspected it in the first place because my stepdad already disliked OH so I'm sure now he won't even speak to him - even though my mom is wrong. And my dad likes OH so I'm worried it's going to affect his view on him as well. I'm also still angry she'd even question it in the first place & not believe me when I insisted she was wrong. I guess I appreciate her concern but it was so off-base :/ And apparently she told OH today that she wanted to get Autumn into counseling because of Autumn's sperm donor because she's been bringing him up lately.

He hasn't seen her in 4+ years, doesn't call for her bday or Christmas. He would only talk to her through Facebook and make promises to see her and be a good dad but never try to follow through on it so my mom finally told him to back off (the custody agreement says she can prevent her OR I from seeing her which is why the message came from her and not me) and stop pretending because all he's doing is hurting her more. He said he changed and to give him a chance. This was easily 6 months ago and after that he still hasn't made a single attempt to contact her or see her (not even through me or mutual friends like he's done in the past.) The only time she ever saw him was for her bday or Christmas and he would come with a gift so she thinks he's this great guy. But like I said, pretty sure her 4th bday was the last time she saw him and she's 8 years old now... So anyway, my mom told OH that's why she wanted Autumn to have counseling. The woman is certifiably nuts.

 

[VivianJean]

Jeeeeeez girl - that sounds like a very stressful situation.... in an already stressful one (moving)....

I'm so so so sorry to hear about your crazy mama-mental episode. I'm so glad there was nothing to it at all.

I have everything crossed that this move is going to be a super positive one for you and your wee family of gorgeousness. Being away from your mom is going to be a good thing and Autumn sounds like a great kid.

Mirolee - yeah I'm excited to see my numbers too! I'm hoping to be close to 30... I went from 10 to 17 to 24 so 30 or close seems doable.

I can't believe they aren't checking you....my doc is hyper vigilant tho. She wants another notch in her baby-cooking belt. Lol.

EEEEEEP 48 hours and one more test to go!

 

[HWPG]

Are they doing prof and hcg, vj?

 

[morganwhite7]

Gotcha added STG!

Waves- Sorry she's causing trouble but glad it's not as bad as you thought and she's off the abuse subject.. jeez lol. And maybe counseling would be good for her, just so someone could explain to her that family doesn't mean blood and that her Daddy now loves her no matter what. I can't wait til you regain custody haha that poor girl needs outta there!!

Kara- Beautiful bumpie you deffo popped! Oh & I passed the "booty-do" by like 9 weeks lmao.. no booty here unfortunately!! :/ Lol I wish!

Amelia- Can't wait to see those numbaaaas!!

 

[jury3]

Rachel-Boo to the weird dreams! Luckily I haven't had any crazy ones in a while...I like Ellie Rae! If we were having 2 girls, one was going to be Olivia Rae or Livie Rae for short lol I love Rae for a girl. Since we are only having one girl we decided to go with Olivia Lynne, Lynne was the name of DW's aunt who died from cancer complications in May.

Britt-I told my boss before 12 weeks bc I was out sick a lot. I told her in person. Honestly, I can't say she responded positively or negatively. She didn't say much, not even congratulations. She has been really hard on me since though. However, my boss already hates me and she's pretty much a a she-devil, so I'm sure that's not the norm.
I think it's good to tell your boss soon though so you guys can formulate a plan for while you are out. I've made sure my boss knows I'm high risk bc of multiples, so I most likely will not work past March, if that and that it's common to be put on bed rest early. That way she can start planning for when I'm out and won't be surprised if I all of a sudden get put on bed rest.

Waves-I'm glad she's backing off. If she told the school, yes they would have to report it. Most likely someone would come out to your house and check things out. If it had gotten to that point, I don't think you'd have much to worry about though...they seem to be realistic people and understand that two year old bruises are normal. There would have to be other signs of abuse as well. Hopefully she just lets it go, I know it would be stressful no matter what.

Kara-Nice bump! Definitely got bigger! Lol to the vagina lips.... as for me, I'm pretty sure I've had the booty-do for a while...it was close before I got preggo lol Now I think the belly is passing the booty up! It definitely passed the boobs now...can't see my feet unless I lean forward lol

Amelia and Mirolee-So glad to see you girls over here Can't wait to watch you grow! Don't stress about the lack of symptoms...I didn't really have anything until I hit 6 weeks. You've still got time

As for me...I am on my 3rd day of calling in sick to work. I have such a hard time going. I'm exhausted and stressed. I feel like I do not have any support or friends at this school. A book on multiples that I have suggests not working after 24-28 weeks. One of the girls in my multiples class just quit working at 30 weeks. I am already so exhausted and stressed and my back pain/hip pain just keeps getting worse everyday...I don't know how long I'm going to last! DW and I had a serious talk this morning about planning for me to be off work. We are going to review our budget and see where we can make cuts to save for that time. I'm so glad I have a supportive wife...I feel horrible that I will be taking off work so early bc I know we need my salary, but I don't want to risk preterm labor either.

 

[CantHrdlyWait]

I can't imagine Twins Julie! But if you need to take time off, you do what's best for you and those babies, and your work will just have to get over it.

I'm lucky enough to have made it to 11.5 weeks and not had anyone find out at work. Although my coworker did tell me that someone asked her if I was (EEEP!) but she said she told them no. I only have a LITTLE bit longer... don't want the word spreading like wildfire JUSt yet.

Edit: To clarify - my direct coworker knows because I was freaking out the morning I found out and had to tell SOMEONE.

 

[VivianJean]

Kara - the bump is beautiful

Mirolee - yup both again.

Julie - Sorry you are having a rough time but your wife sounds kinda awesome and perfect and supportive I already feel that way and mine is only ONE and I'm only lugging around an appleseed I honestly can't imagine twins - you are doing such a great job tho - cheering for you and screw your boss.

So speaking of dreams I had one about having a MC which terrified me and woke me up in a panic and then a super crazy sex dream (like hedonistic with sex everywhere). I never used to dream. Ever. DH said I was grinding my teeth last time he was here... I'm really ready to not have these dreams anymore - I'm going to have to start wearing my mouth guard thingo for the grinding again and it's gross and i hate it.

 

[jury3]

Thanks Britt! I tend to be really hard on myself bc I'm independent and hate feeling like I can't do things. I feel like all I do since getting pregnant is whine lol It makes me feel better when people remind me it's normal and I have to do what's best for babies. I don't think my work understands that, so it makes me feel worse.
Luckily my doctor's office is awesome. I called yesterday and asked if they could send a note for my absences this week and they didn't even question it. Even let me come in for a quick scan and check when I described I'd been having pressure on my cervix (pretty sure it's baby A moving around bc she's so low).

I think it's good to tell at least one person at work. It's so hard to keep it a secret. Plus, you at least have that one person to cover for you! I had to tell someone at my work too. I started showing so quickly and was out sick so much that it didn't stay a secret for long though lol

 

[jury3]

Amelia-Thanks! Yeah, she's pretty awesome She actually made me call in today bc she could tell I was not feeling well and I had a minor break down...lol
I'm a teeth grinder as well, I think it was more when I was a kid but it still happens occasionally. Even when I'm awake I catch myself clenching my jaw...
I had a dream last week that I had a miscarriage too. It was weird though bc it was more like an early miscarriage, like a chemical. Woke up feeling quite depressed...those are the worst!

 

[goldstns]

my brother and SIL are headed to the hospital in early stages of labor. I am excited to be an auntie, but the hate for them getting preggo first (before us) has set back in... I know it shouldn't because I am due soon too and should be happy, but kinda sad. Anyways, at least he wont share my bday (dec 17)... so waves you don't have to go and shove the baby back in her vag!

 

[TTCaWee1]

Hola ladies. It's a beautiful day here in SC. 76 degrees! I'm Christmas decor shopping then going home to decorate!

Sorry you are feeling crummy Julie. I am having a hard time working my 3 days a week lol. But just bc I'm tired and my feet hurt from being on them for 12 hours at a time. I really need to pick up some OT but I'm just not feelin it. I'm off till Friday so I'm enjoying my days off till I go back for 3 in a row. Barf. I wanna be a stay at home mom lol

 

[MrsAmk]

Hey girls! I am home on a snow day today, so trying to read up! This is getting crazy...yesterday we got 13 inches of snow, and today another 14-20!! I mean, yea I live in MN and am used to the snow and cold, but all at once just kinda sucks. Its gorgeous, I love love love being home when its like this, but had to take a day of my leave from work so I wouldnt have to drive in the 45 (1hr and 30min in this weather) to get there. I hope the roads are ok by the early morning tomorrow. Eek! Its a freaking winter wonderland!!

 

[jury3]

Rachel-If I thought they'd let me, then I would reduce my hours and only work 3 days a week. That would be great! Of course mine would only be 7.5 hours a day lol I was looking on the twins boards and lots of them go off work anytime between 20 and 30 weeks, so that makes me feel much better!

Molly-We are expecting our first snow tomorrow...I'm really hoping we get enough to be off school for a day! It doesn't take a lot for us though lol I love staying at home when it's snowy outside

 

[HWPG]

VJ - is 170 too high for a hr? when i spin, mine def gets that high - but i've been tracking it since before bfp, so could my body be "used" to it? or should i dial it back? i just dont know when to worry about these things - i mean, is it too early still? how much do i need to think about these things? will my body "tell me"? ergh. so much to think about.
i already switched my facewash and just feel like the new stuff is not cutting it. i feel like a high schooler using Noxema all over again, and not having any control. i might use a dab of my zip zapper tonight, even if it does have SA in it....

 

[morganwhite7]

I would worry more about over-working out than using BP or SA for zits, haha.. I think your body is used to being in shape and working hard, so I'm sure you can get away with doing harder stuff, but I wouldn't over-do it. I read not to let it over 140, I think it's about temperature, not your body. Babies can't regulate theirs like I said earlier, hence why hot packs, fevers, and hot tubs aren't good. Esp being early on, not to scare you, but I'd tone it down a notch for now and pick it back up later when your placenta and whatnot is healthy and takes over. Just wouldn't want to risk anything. Idk but I'm a freak about that stuff so I guess just do what you feel is right!

 

[VivianJean]

Yeah the whole HR thing is not a deal breaker - everything I've read is more warning about dehydration and over-heating. HR is fine but they also don't recommend sustained high HR where you couldn't carry on a conversation with someone or if you become dizzy.

I want to keep monitoring because I have been getting a bit dizzy this past week and I noticed that my heart rate tends to scoot up.

170 before pregnancy was never a big deal but last night I certainly felt it... and I'm still nervous.

I want to go back to doing weights - I put on a few lbs these past weeks that I wasn't at the gym and I don't want to keep them there PLUS add the 5ish that everyone says I should gain in the first trimester... would rather just sustain this weight and let the baby take what it needs because otherwise I'm going to be as wide as I am tall and really super unhappy and uncomfortable very quickly.