TTC and Delayed Ejaculation

[Widget]

DH suffers from delayed ejaculation so I am worried if we can even have children. This is technically our first month TTC so I suppose I should calm down.... but still, when it is a feat just for him to ejaculate it makes me nervous.

We barely have sex once a month and even then it may not even result in climax. We TTC once a while back and basically he had to get himself there and I had to jump on... I'm not sure how effective that can be but it just took the romance out of it...

DH went to the doctor regarding his "performance" issues and all the doctor did was prescribe him viagra. It doesn't help with the climaxing at all.

Does anybody else have experience with this? What do you find helps? I'm scared that we are going to be trying for a long time considering time is running out for us (I'm only 26 but DH is 38 and doesn't want to be the only old man at the park).

 

[Flame589]

Sorry i have not got much info on this myself but found this link it may be of use

https://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/ejaculatoryincompetence.htm

 

[BabyDreamer82]

Hi Widget,
my DP also suffers from this, before ttc he was ok, he wouldn't ejaculate every time but he COULD, now that we have been 'trying' (6 cycles) he pretty much cant. It really sucks but we are dealing with it. We tried the 'jump on when he's about ready' but found that he would 'lose it', I had read somewhere about people trying at-home insemination & told him maybe we might need to give that a go at some point, he was keen do we started doing that, this is our 3rd cycle(ithink) doing the insemination thing.
As if ttc isnt hard enough aye?
Please feel free to ask any questions, pm me if you wish, although I havent got my BFP yet, I know it is a sensitive subject.

 

[tigger867]

hi widget,

Im in the same boat as your self and daydreamer. My DH suffers from poor ejaculation, and erection problems. This is due to his prostate gland being enlarged. We do the insertmination way as well, im in the 1st month of try, still and to a certain degree it might be your best chance.

I can understand how you feel, and it does kick the romance side of things, but keep your chin up, it might just happen for you guys.

 

[DTor25]

My DH is the same, his is from a combination of high blood pressure and anti-anxiety meds. It really depresses him when he can't finish the job. I've found that if I let him initiate it, the results are normally better. Oh, and at certain times in the month he lays off the meds for a few days. All it takes is 1 time to get a !!

 

[AimeeM]

I actually watched something which said it could be through fear of becoming a parent (subconciously). I don't know the circumstances but hows about telling him you want to lay of ttc for a while but you yourself time it right so that some of the pressure is off him yet you still get to try? xxx

 

[amraphster]

Hello all,
My husband suffers from delayed ejaculation and won't admit he has a problem. We have been TTC for 6 months. While he has managed to ejaculate during intercourse once in a while during our 4 years together, now that we are TTC it just isn't happening. I don't know what to do. I wish he would admit we have a problem so we can seek help, but he refuses to discuss it or address it. I am so frustrated. At least I am not taking it personally! Has anyone had any luck with treatment? Do your husband/partners at least discuss the problem with you?

 

[Vesta]

My DH has the same problem. No way he would ever see a doctor about it. He's always been this way, but it never bothered me until we wanted to TTC. However we're on cycle 5 now and have finally seemed to find a way that works for us. So hopefully it won't be long now.

Hope you get your BFP soon.

 

[Gemie]

I think the girls on this thread will have some ideas for you girls. Sorry I don't have anything to add as it isn't a problem for us but I have read this thread and know there are many in the same situation... It is more common than you'd think.



https://www.babyandbump.com/trying-to-conceive/123696-delayed-ejaculation.html

 

[WTBmyBFP]

Hi there, I'm writing this to share with others who may be in a similar situation. Though I am new to the TTC community as far as posting, I've actually been scanning them from the first BFN.

For DH and I the situation is this:

*I am 30, work a graves shift job...DH is 40, and works a job with shifts that change ever 3 weeks or so, so having the time to BD when we aren't exhausted is an issue.

*We have been TTC for 10 months with one chemical pregnancy, and the rest have all been We have done BBT charting, OPK's, and I'm currently on my 2nd month of "fertibella" (can I say that?). Our doctors want to wait until 12 months pass before they will send us to a fertility specialist.

*TMI perhaps, but DH has difficulty ejaculating during BD, but is able to "do the job himself." He's been checked out by the doctors, who don't know what causes it or how to help it. We don't have marital problems, he still has a strong drive and can get "excited," but we just can't get him to the goal line, so to speak. So don't feel alone, it happens.

*that said, we've had to resort to the so-called turkey baster method (no we don't use an actual turkey baster--that would be too big to actually work and hold the long enough to get it where it needs to be, and the thought of using food-anyhthing for that grosses me out a bit , sorry TMI again).

He does his thing in a sterile collection cup, transfers it to a small sterile syringe, and then I "baste" with my rear up, just like most do when TTC the natural/usual way. (we've tried the comfort? cups to hold everything in place too)



Emotionally TTC has been a real mess for me. I'm one of those who desperately wants to be a mother, and having a spouse in his 40s makes it feel like we really need to get a move on this baby-making business.

Because of the somewhat unusual situation its been difficult for me to keep my confidence with each showing of AF. The chemical pregnancy was the most difficult because I felt pregnant and got a couple of BFP's followed by a very vengeful AF (that ).

I hope & pray we will be able to get pregnant, and that DH has strong swimmers. I pray we CAN get pregnant, that we don't end up in IUI land forever, and if that happens, I hope we know when its time to stop and adopt.


to everyone! Sorry for TMI, feel free to ask questions or give advice. Thanks to those who post on these sights, you've been my rock through this process thus far.

 

[afahez91]

Hi ladies, my DH also suffers from DE! I believe his reason is purely psychological. We have been matried for almost 4 years and havnt really been ttc since last cycle. It is so frustrating as we tried a few methods. We used softcups to help us conceive. He can let it go if he helps himself, although DH has a low sex drive. Im not sure if this has any correlation. We tried inserting after he helps himself, inserted softcups straight after to keep all the sperm up there. Not sure if you can get pregnant using this method? Other methods were he ejaculated into a softcup and i inserted that in. I have done a lot of research and I dont think there is much you can do about treating it! HELP!!!

 

[baileybubs]

Hi afahez91 I know you posted this a couple of months ago and just wanted to say we are in the same boat. We haven't tried soft cups or anything yet but this month seems to have been more relaxed as I've not talked about it much. I had been getting really upset the last few months especially if we had dtd and he hadn't got to the finish line when I knew I was close to ovulation.
We've been successful in dtd this weekend and I'm sure I'm about to ovulate (I hope!) so I'm crossing my fingers!