TTC and have no one who i can talk to

[daisy31]

We are TTC and each month is so disappointing, I get so down. We have not told anyone we are trying (thankfully as I dont think i could deal with people asking every month). Although this also means that i dont have anyone to discuss this with. My partner is great, but he doesn't seem to get so disappointed each month, he says things like "don't worry we will try again next month" and "oh well...at least you can have a glass of wine now" or even worse makes some joke about all the BDing still to come. I know he is trying to be supportive, but it dives me mad! Also since we have been trying (6 months) 8 or our friends/family have announced their pregnancy, which after the first few, i find hard to deal with. Again my partner is completely logical and says "that doesn't make it any less likely to happen for us" and i know he is right, but i feel like he doesn't understand how it feels every month to be disappointed. Sorry to rant! AF just arrived and feeling low again.

 

[VickyLou]

Hi huni sorry your feeling low at the moment. Thers plenty of people on here you can chat to when things get tough hun. I made the mistake of telling people that we were ttc and on clomid so now every month or every little thing i right on facebook people are all over me asking questions. It drives me mental so id say you have done the right thing not telling anyone.

Although have you thought about telling someone thats close to you? a friend or family member that wont judge and give you rubbish advice so you will have one person to rant to when your feeling really bad.

Its a tough time this ttc and not alot of people understand but you always have us. Its been 3 years for me nearly and it gets harder every month huni but you have to keep faith.

Fingers and toesed tightly crossed that this is your month hun.



xx

 

[cho]

Trust me, every women on here feels the same. its a horid waiting game. I no exactly what u mean about partner as mines the same and it doesnt make it any easier what anyone says. I hope it wont be too much longer for you. Have you not got one person you would trust to tell as i no it must be hard to deal with on your own and men are useless they think there helping but they dont, bless them. do you use ovulation tests(opk) could giv you a better idea when your ovulating.

 

[ttcstill]

I would suggest that you not take your partners reaction so strongly as it is very likely that this is his way of dealing with the disappointment, we as women want to sulk, cry and feel bad for a while, men feel the same way but use their macho verbage to avoid have to deal with the disappointment, trust me my partner wants this more than I do and he works extra hard to not get excited but its only because that is how he protects himself not because he doesnt want it or doesnt feel my pain when i get a BFN.....

 

[fuzzylogic]

sorry about how youre feeling. dont be down, just look at the positive side every month like your partner does. you may think he doesn't understand or that he's being insensitve by making jokes, but its probably the best way to deal with bfn every month.

i remember getting down all time while i was ttc because i saw loads of babies and loads of pregnant women, but i stopped getting down by it and i just remembered that eventually my time to have a baby will come!

fingers crossed for you, i hope ur next af doesnt show and you get a bfp!

x

 

[thinknboutbby]

We are TTC and each month is so disappointing, I get so down. We have not told anyone we are trying (thankfully as I dont think i could deal with people asking every month). Although this also means that i dont have anyone to discuss this with. My partner is great, but he doesn't seem to get so disappointed each month, he says things like "don't worry we will try again next month" and "oh well...at least you can have a glass of wine now" or even worse makes some joke about all the BDing still to come. I know he is trying to be supportive, but it dives me mad! Also since we have been trying (6 months) 8 or our friends/family have announced their pregnancy, which after the first few, i find hard to deal with. Again my partner is completely logical and says "that doesn't make it any less likely to happen for us" and i know he is right, but i feel like he doesn't understand how it feels every month to be disappointed. Sorry to rant! AF just arrived and feeling low again.

We are in the same boat and I come here for support as well. Would you like to be buddies?

 

[babymammy]

me and my partner are in the same boat. we have decided not to tell our parents or any1 b/c we dont want to be judged b/c we are still young (im 21 and hes 22). this site is great and everyone is really helpful on here. i have gettin loadz of information on hea! always hea if you need to have a good rant or questions xx

 

[Vee_Bee]

I made the mistake of telling people that we were going to start ttc as soon as we got married. That was 18 months ago and people have pretty much stopped asking me as nothing has happened since! It is really hard when other people seem to fall pregnant all the time but we have to just believe that our turn will come. I just turned 35 on Monday and had the worst birthday ever as all I could think about was the fact that I am still childless.

My DH is always really supportive but in the beginning was the same as yours in that he would say "never mind, maybe next month" but I think blokes are more practical than us and don't have the same connection to ttc as we do, even if they are just as desparate for kids as we are. Perhaps its because they are not the ones who have the physical stuff to deal with and so are not constantly symptom spotting and having the fluctuating hormones.

The other girls are right, there must be a friend or family member that you can talk to about this, although I understand it may be tough to do this if none of them have been through the same long process. Most of my friends have gone through fertility treatment so I am lucky in a sense that I can ask them about it and they know exactly how I feel.

If you can't talk to anyone about it, there are LOADS of us on BnB who will happily join you in a rant or a cry or happy times, so feel free! I have had amazing support on here in the short time since I joined and it really does help when you are feeling crappy.

Keep in touch!

Vee
x
:

 

[Koromaru]

Hi there,
getting pregnant seems easier for my friends than catching the flu, so I know how you feel. My bf always says "well, we can't do anything but wait". It makes me mad. I wish you luck. And feel free to send me message if you wanna talk.

 

[Lynsay]

Hi Daisy! If it makes you feel any better alot of people on here are with you. I'm in the same boat, except this month I broke down and told closest friends and family. After 7/8 months of trying it got too much.
My OH is similar to yours, always being supportive, but I feel I'm letting him down, so each month i feel worse.... Except from now on people will be asking me if I'm pregnant each month. I'm 21 and keep thinking about how sex education used to warn of the dangers of 'accidental pregnancies' and 'how easy' it is to fall pregnant, there's really only a tiny window of oppertunity each month, why didn't they teach us that in school?

Anyways rant over, fingers crossed for you Hun, and don't get too stressed, it only makes it harder! X x x

 

[momtoboys1]

I'm with you to. I just got AF today also and am gutted. DH doesn't really understand the crazy lady though, and even went as far as saying we shouldn't ttc as it is upsetting me too much and we are only on cycle 2!!

Managed to talk him into it again and have decided to try the sperm meets the egg plan.

Maybe we can be ttc buddies as our cycles just started and we can go through the 2ww together? I know I need support as I can't show DH the crazy lady anymore or he will change his mind again lol.

 

[SquirrelGirl]

Welcome to BnB Daisy... I definitely feel the same way. You'll find a lot of support here, and lots of great advice!

 

[Shey]

Hey Daisy
You can always talk bout it to us! as we are all ttc. So anything you want to know or anything you can always come and talk to us.

 

[mission3]

Hi everyone, I'm new to this site, too. I've been TTC since my m/c in Sept 09. No luck so far. Started Fertility Blend this cycle and am now 1 DPO (I think, b/c I don't temp--just got a +OPK about 48 hrs ago). Also used Soft Cups. Hopeful that I have a BFP in April, as April 11th would've been my due date....fingers crossed. Good luck to everyone!

 

[SquirrelGirl]

Welcome, Mission3!

 

[baby20080112]

Look at the positive side and good luck my friend!

 

[Starmoon]

Just want to say we know how you feel. Am only early into trying, sometimes I wish I had not googled TTC, did not realise there was so much that goes into it. That is because everyone else seems to get pregnant quickly. However, remember, once you do get pregnant people may think the same of you. It is just because people dont advertise the fact that they are trying, who knows what is going on behind the scenes as such.

I have not told any of my family, although my work colleagues know. I am sort of wishing they didn't!

 

[mum2bJo]

I'm in exactly the same boat although I have told my sister as I really needed someone to talk to. It is so much better with someone to talk to, I would try to find just one person who you can tell.

I'm only on month 1 TTC and already can't stop thinking about it - I said I would never be like this.

AF is due on 28th and have already tested (couldn't help myself)

Good luck xxxxxxxx

 

[daisy31]

Wow! This is the fist time i have posted on here and everyone is so supportive! Thank you everyone, you have really cheered me up, knowing I'm not the only one! DH has invited 2 couples down to visit in the next few months, surprise surprise, both are pregnant! I could tell he was watching me carefully when he said they were coming to stay, but I smiled and said "that's lovely!" (through gritted teeth). 1st set of pregnant visitors arrive in 2 weeks....oh joy!

 

[ConnorsMommy]

I completely understand. All of my friends have also TTC their second child and have succeeded. so it feels like i have no one to talk to. my husband also has the same reaction. I know hes not going to sit and cry with me or be depressed about it, i just want him to be more sentimental towards my feelings and not just tell me, its ok, well just try again. i would love to talk with you more, and maybe we can stay in touch regularly to vent with one another, i cant seem to talk with anyone else to relate.