ttc, bfn and guilt

[fizzypop]

13dpo... temp has dropped and I got a BFN this morning. I'm upset and wanted to get it off my chest because there's noone else I can tell..

I also feel guilty even feeling this way when I already have a beautiful child. It feels greedy wanting another so much when so many women are trying hard for #1.

I am going to see my sister in law this afternoon who is pregnant and it feels like a punch in the stomach.

right, tears shed.. wipe face and try again next month!

 

[Carhar]

TTC is such a stressful experience whether it's your 1st or 10th. We've just made the decision that we will shortly be trying for our 2nd., but it took us 14 months to conceive our first and I cried over so many bfns.

Big x

 

[Curligurl]

You should not feel gulity about wanting another child! The urge to have babies is very strong, regardless of how many you already have. As long as you know you will love them and take care of them then have as many as you want. I hate it when women TTC #1 try to make others feel guilty by saying "just be thankful that you already have a child". I am more than greatful for my son and I've had my share of infertilty woes. It took me 9 months to get pregnant the first time. That pregnancy ended in a MC...then I had 2 more MC after that...so yes I know how blessed I am to finally be a mother. I could care less about what others say when it comes to TTC #2, or #3 or whatever. Trust me, when those women finally have their first child, the baby bug will hit them again and they will be in our shoes. So ignore those feelings of guilt and try not to let your "bump envy" when you're around your SIL.

 

[ange0011]

I totally understand. You should not feel guilty about wanting another child. I also have one and it took us a while and IUI to get pregnant, but because I have him now and know what it is like to be a mother, I cannot wait to have my second. Even though I appreciate that I already have one, I am much more impatient this time around!

 

[fizzypop]

Thanks ladies. You're all right of course. Hope you all get your bfps soon xx

 

[Yo_Yo]

Hugs
Even if you have kids, it's totally fine and normal to feel this way. Don't feel bad lovely hope your month comes soon

 

[babyvaughan]

Dont feel bad, We have been trying for 3 years now I have gone through so much painful testing and periods and still haven't had a child. My brother in-law got pregnant with his girlfriend within a few months, she got an abortion. Which made me sick, then she decided a year later to get pregnant again and kept this baby now 7 months pregnant, i'm happy for them but at the same time I end up crying because it doesn't seem fair. I want a baby so so bad! But I stay strong and I even go to her doctors appointments with her, now I even share my desire to have a child with her, she let me come find out the sex of there baby boy so I could have that experience! Don't give up, and dont feel guilty.

 

[siempre]

We've all got to stop feeling guilty for feelings! I'm only trying for #1, so I don't know what your position feels like. But you want what you want, lots of people have more than one child, and they don't feel one bit guilty.
I sometimes catch myself feeling guilty because I want #1. I have a great life, great job, great husband, great dog, and I'm healthy and financially stable. I feel guilty that I want something more. I think we need to be thankful for what we have but that is not the same as feeling guilty for wanting a child (or a 2nd child). I'm working on this everyday too. It's ok to want it. Lately I catch myself feeling like this and have to actively tell myself "stop feeling guilty, you are just being normal." Surprisingly, it's helped me.

 

[fizzypop]

You ladies are all amazing. I knew you'd all know what to say! So thank you.

babyvaughan.. wow. That is a very emotional situation for you honey. You must be very brave xx

 

[babyvaughan]

If haven't already ask for an HSG it will show any blockages, polyps etc.
I had it done in Nov and just had surgery the beginning of this month to remove a blockage that was most likely preventing implantation!