TTC but trying to stay positive is prooving difficult

[Staystrong.]

Hi all,

I'm new to this kind of thing and not really sure what to put! But I am looking for some sort of support. Me and my partner have been TTC for 2 months, AF is due in 2 days and I've been getting period pains so quite sure this month is another unlucky month for me. Been off the pill for just over 2 months nearly 3 and we had no idea how difficult it was to get pregnant! I know 2 months is not long at all, but in my head I'm struggling with a constant battle of seeing other people so happy with happy announcements and I'm desperately wanting it. Trying not to stress and relax but easier said than done! I know people have been waiting much longer than me, but I'm sure we all have the same thoughts of feeling disappointed. How do we try and relax?!

 

[AmandaGAC]

Staystrong - Welcome! You'll find lots of great support here in seeing other people who are struggling like you are. This is also our second month of trying and my DH is feeling the same way you are. He had no idea how difficult it would be. We are here for you and there are lots of others who are in the same boat that we are, some trying for as long as we have and some much, much longer! Hang in there and keep you head up! We're all here for you.

 

[Gemini19156]

Hang in there, Staystrong! This is our 4th cycle of TTC and my fiancé and I definitely thought it would be easier than it has been. I can completely relate to what you're saying about seeing other people's good news and feeling jealous or disappointed or bad about yourself. Over the last couple of months these are some of the things that have helped me with those feelings:

1. Talking with my partner about what happens if we can't get pregnant. I literally started this conversation after only one unsuccessful month and I'm glad I did. While it's great to stay positive, it also made me feel a lot better knowing that we were still going to be together if one or both of us was unable to have children, and that we have a plan in place for adopting or trying other methods if we can't conceive naturally.

2. Unfollowing anyone on social media that gets pregnant - at first I felt bad about this, but they don't know or care and it really makes my TTC journey easier not feeling like all of my friends are getting pregnant without me.

3. Trying to remind myself constantly that just because someone else gets pregnant doesn't mean that you won't get pregnant. This is especially hard when you talk to people who got lucky in their first month of trying. But at the end of the day, when/how someone else conceives has nothing to do with when you'll conceive.

I hope that's helpful! It is an INCREDIBLY hard journey we're on, and I definitely have my moments of wanting to give up too. This forum has helped a TON.

Edit - also, you're not out until the witch actually shows up!! So wait it out the next few days My period is due on Monday and the wait is killing me, too.

 

[angie90]

Hello! I just stopped my pill 2 weeks ago! And whilst I've not been waiting for a BFP I would love to meet people who are also TTC! My period still hasn't come through and worried my pill had pressed my period cycles up

I hope you get your BFP soon!!! xx

 

[abennion]

I wish I could offer some words of comfort, but hang in there! It's perfectly normal to take up to a year to conceive for couple with no fertility issues. Each month you only have about a 20% at best to conceive. Best you can do is try not to stress, and have fun doing it!

 

[KatO79]

As the PP said it can take up to 1 year to conceive and be perfectly normal. Your chances are about 15-20% each cycle. In my experience it's just easier to not expect to get your BFP every month and just have fun the first 6-12 months trying (depending on your age) and see what happens. If you expect a BFP every cycle you'll have trouble keeping positive for very long.

I actually got annoyed reading the suggestion that you unfollow people that get their BFP on social media after you've only been trying for under 1 year. I'm a former LTTTC'er myself and it took close to 2½ years to get my BFP after having tried naturally for 1 year, been through 6 failed medicated IUIs (all BFNs despite having 2 follies for most of them!), an IVF that resulted in a CP (chemical pregnancy) before getting my BFP after IVF #2. I'm guessing that you actually have no idea how long it took some of those people you know on social media to get pregnant. Some of them may have taken years to get that BFP! I'd just suck it up and offer a short congrats and try to be supportive of them as much as you're able to. I doubt telling people that you've unfollowed them because you've been trying for 2-3 months and it's so hard for you will go over well, especially if it took years for any of them!

 

[BellaBoo0512]

It's completely normal to feel the way you are. Me and my DH have been ttc for 17 months. We have a 4 year old son and it took 11 months to conceive him. Try not to stress about it. I know this is easier said than done but I'm sure you will fall pregnant soon. Sending lots of baby dust your way