TTC - do we overthink it?

[GingerNut]

TTC these days is like a well planned military campaign for most of us. We know how our cycles work, we count days, we pee on sticks and check our temperatures, we plan DTD around ovulation dates, we know exactly when we can reasonably test and we can test at home and get a reasonably reliable answer in minutes.

Not so long ago, people just DTD when they felt like it and that was it. They didn't know they were pregnant until they missed a period and they had to wait for a doctor to get test results back. They didn't know about early miscarriages because they wouldn't have tested in time.

Is our approach an improvement, or are we just tormenting ourselves (and our DPs!) unnecessarily?

 

[jleden48]

TTC these days is like a well planned military campaign for most of us. We know how our cycles work, we count days, we pee on sticks and check our temperatures, we plan DTD around ovulation dates, we know exactly when we can reasonably test and we can test at home and get a reasonably reliable answer in minutes.

Not so long ago, people just DTD when they felt like it and that was it. They didn't know they were pregnant until they missed a period and they had to wait for a doctor to get test results back. They didn't know about early miscarriages because they wouldn't have tested in time.

Is our approach an improvement, or are we just tormenting ourselves (and our DPs!) unnecessarily?

Unfortunately, we live in a time of instant gratification. I'm guilty of it. Back then they just DTD'd but they may have not gotten pregnant until several months or years later. But nowadays...we want a kid now...we don't want to wait months or years. I think that that's okay. But we have to relax a little and not get so wrapped up in everything that we forget the reason we're going through it all. I just temp and do opks. My husband and I DTD when we want to before that and when the +opks arrive we DTD those days as well. This is our first month that we were TTC. NO luck. But I didn't know when I was ovulating and I had just come off the birth control. Our first month of just figuring things out was fun and not stressful and now I know when/how I can know I'm ovulating and can improve our chances once AF arrives and goes away!

 

[Blondie2005]

It's a very good question. On balance, I think that having the easy access to to Ov tests and Prg tests, and to the internet as a place of advice/shared experience, is a good thing. I have got to understand my body and cycle far better. Indeed, there are one or two things I've been told by fertility doctors over the years which now appear not to be true.

But increased knowledge does lead to increased stressing, at least in my case. We have been NTNP for 8 months. We are NTNP deliberately because I don't want to put lots of TTC stress onto my DH. That works well for him: he's easy about whether we have kids or not, but I have yet to find a strategy that keeps me sane during the TWW. I don't test for ovulation, but I always know exactly when it happens because of EWCM and mittelschmerz, so I can't ignore it. I would suspect that the very early symptoms of pregnancy have never been so well documented in human history as they are now due to sites like this one and www.twoweekwait.com. Increasing human knowledge in this way can only be a good thing, but there is nevertheless some truth in the old saying that what you don't know can't hurt you.

 

[mama d]

Well said, GingerNut! I'd say it's a mixed blessing...I drive myself crazy with TTC and literally wanting to know NOW if this will be our month. In the end, it probably was easier for the generations before us. It wasn't possible to put too much thought into it so there was more of a "whatever happens, happens" attitude (sounds like bliss if you ask me). I think having more education on how our cycles work, when we're fertile, etc. is great but it makes the "beauty" of starting a family seem more like business than pleasure sometimes...

 

[bluebumble]

Well said

Up until this cycle we havent really been putting much effort in at all and I was never stressed or obsessed. This cycle has been a military operation. By the time I had ovulated and we had bd'ed a couple more times 'just in case' we were exhausted and ready for some time off. Its madness! Having should be about being intimate with each other and loving each other instead of quick march, oh stop I need to insert preseed with the most hideous looking applicator, hold my legs at 180 degrees above my head, stay in that position for at least 30 minutes afterwards so dont try and cuddle me, and what are you doing giving me tissue to wipe myself silly man prop my bum up instead so i am vitually doing a handstand. That'll work wont it :Haha:

How romantic - not!

We really should be able to relax and enjoy the ride so to speak but instead I am a raving lunatic.

 

[bluebumble]

hang on a minute i feel a sore nipple coming on

**** running to write it down.....

only joking - someone put me out of my misery and return me to sanity please!