TTC first time and 39

[gustav72]

Hi All, I'm new to these boards and looking for some support. I originally posted this in the TTC board, but thought this board might be more appropriate due to my age. I am turning 40 in November and my husband is 43. We've been trying to conceive since December. I've been doing ovulation sticks the past two months and BBT the past month. I didn't realize how much the pressure of TTC would put on us, this past month didn't go so well with the TTC sex as we were both stressed and it affected the process. I guess I didn't think the pressure of our ages would get to us so much. All of our friends have kids and we are the last ones to try. We both really want a child and I think we are getting into our heads way too much...any words of wisdom? I could really use it, as I don't feel like I can talk to even my close friends about my feelings. Thanks!

 

[SaraJewel]

I agree, and a lot of what you have said sounds very familiar!

We felt under a lot of pressure when we started ttc 7 months ago, this led to serious perfomance problems for my OH. Maybe the best thing to do is take the pressure off for a few months, maybe even stop using Ovulations sticks/BBT and just make sure you BD regularly.

I think we are just starting to get back to normal now, although I do sometimes still feel stressed by the whole situation. We don't talk about ttc anymore in any particular detail as have found that just puts more stress on the situation.

The more stressed I got, the more stressed my OH got and the worse our sex life became!

I don't know if this helps, but just to let you know, I know how you feel. Good luck x

 

[gustav72]

Thanks for the advice, it helps. The performance issue just came up this month and we both feel really stressed by it. All the best as well and thanks again. The validation helps.
P.S. I need to figure out what all the abbreviations mean in people's posts! lol

 

[SaraJewel]

Check out the forum help area of the board: has a big long list of abbreviations!

I know, it can feel a bit lonely when you can't really discuss it with friends as sometimes that can put even more pressure on!

 

[heavenly]

Hi All, I'm new to these boards and looking for some support. I originally posted this in the TTC board, but thought this board might be more appropriate due to my age. I am turning 40 in November and my husband is 43. We've been trying to conceive since December. I've been doing ovulation sticks the past two months and BBT the past month. I didn't realize how much the pressure of TTC would put on us, this past month didn't go so well with the TTC sex as we were both stressed and it affected the process. I guess I didn't think the pressure of our ages would get to us so much. All of our friends have kids and we are the last ones to try. We both really want a child and I think we are getting into our heads way too much...any words of wisdom? I could really use it, as I don't feel like I can talk to even my close friends about my feelings. Thanks!

Hi there. You will find loads of support on here. Hope you will join us in this thread.

https://www.babyandbump.com/ttc-groups/355138-ttc-40-plus-lets-share-ups-downs-533.html

I do understand, I am 46 and we have been trying for 4 years. Everyone I know has children, including both my sisters. We have had to go private and have consultations and tests etc, but it has armed us with more information about what plan of action to follow.

Do keep posting. xx

 

[gustav72]

Check out the forum help area of the board: has a big long list of abbreviations!

I know, it can feel a bit lonely when you can't really discuss it with friends as sometimes that can put even more pressure on!

Thanks SaraJewel I found the abbreviation list...that helps!

 

[vermeil]

yeah... the whole TTC 'adventure' can seriously make you go a little Everyone says 'don`t think about it! don`t sress!' yeah right, pretty much impossible

 

[BabyBean14]

I'm 38 (39 in November) and my husband is 41. We're planning to start TTC in the summer. One thing I read was to BD regularly (every 2-3 days) and not worry about it otherwise. Of course, when you're younger, that's much easier to do!

I know what you mean about not feeling able to talk to friends. My DH and I are keeping this very quiet because we don't want the pressure. Of course, that also means we don't get the support, either. That makes me sad, but finding places like this has helped a lot. I hope it helps you as well.