TTC for 4 yrs and have lost all hope..

[LaPinska]

After trying naturally with OPKs and charting for 2 1/2 yrs we finally were referred to a gynecologist. We found out about my thyroid problems last year and we found out about dh's impossibly low counts this year after two failed rounds of clomid. We were told that it was pointless to continue the clomid because his counts were too low to get me pregnant. Then we were told he needed to see a urologist and that our only chance of conceiving is IUI or IVF. Our health insurance covers everything BUT infertility... unfortunately the state we live in doesn't require it. So we are at a stand still. After only ONE semen analysis which came back at 14mil per milliliter, she said my husband is infertile and cannot father children unless we find a way to get his counts up.

I just don't know what to do. We do not have the money to see the specialist. It's around 500 dollars per appointment WITH insurance coverage. This is the same reason why i was sent to a gyno and not an RE. There is no way we have the money to spend .. it's almost a thousand dollars per appointment without insurance and thats including SOME testing, not all.

How does anyone survive this, financially? How do you overcome this type of thing.. I am at the point now where I have almost completely given up and stopped charting. I have no idea where i'm at in my cycle. I have wasted hundreds of dollars on pregnancy tests and ovulation tests and other fertility aids. I feel like it's all been a total waste. I don't want to continue this any more because all it does is hurt my feelings. I don't feel human anymore. But i still long for it, and its killing me.

I almost want to see a therapist, so i have someone to talk to, but thats just more wasted money. I'm only 26. I have tried to let go and move on, spend time with friends go to parties, get trashed like normal people my age but it just makes me feel worse. Like im trying to fill the void and it isn't satisfying. NOTHING is. I have lost interest in life completely. I am dealing with many other medical conditions so when i'm not suffering from some debilitating illness, i'm still completely miserable. I can't even get knocked up, for christ sake.

I just want something to look forward to. A goal to accomplish. I want to be a parent and I can't. What else do people do with their lives if they have no family?? I keep entering this stage of grief over and over and over again, and i can't get out of it. I don't have a clue where to start. I've lost all hope!

 

[kaye]

so sorry your having such a crappy time right now, i totally understand some of what you are feeling.

I am in UK so dont really understand how it works in the states, but we will not get funded on the NHS so would need to pay private prices which we cannot afford. I am looking into egg sharing, to get a very reduced rate for IVF. Do they do that in your area that may help with the financial side?

Also have you tried anything like accupunture for your partner, some people really truly beleive this can help and maybe worth a go.

 

[readyformore]

So sorry to hear you're struggling.

Honestly, I don't know what you do for a living, but. . . . maybe you can change jobs?
I know that the economy is crap right now. But, I had a friend that was working at one hospital that didn't cover the cost of IVF. She came to work at my facility, worked her 1 year required to get the infertility coverage, did 3 failed IVFs, and had a successful IUI with twins.

I have another friend that took part in embryo sharing. That's when you have extra embroys, you literally share them with another couple and it lowers the cost because they pay you, or you pay them and get their embryos.

This friend did IVF a couple of times. It can be anywhere from $12,000 to $30,000. That's an overwhelming number.

(Also, you posted in the secondary infertility side, meaning you've had a baby before and are experiencing infertility after that birth. The LTTC forum has a lot more traffic and you may get more support and advice on that side as well.)

 

[LaPinska]

woops! i totally meant to post in LTTTC!!



I wouldn't know anything about egg sharing honestly. I can't even see a specialist because of the insurance thing. I am also trying very hard to change jobs but it just isn't happening for me. i've been trying since 08 to get a better job. i guess i just suck at everything!! Anyway, thanks for replying even though i posted in the wrong place!!

 

[Ame]

First of all you do not suck at everything. This isn't your fault. I know its frustrating and heartbreaking. I don't know how many times I've felt like I was going crazy. We have been trying for over 2 years and we are both 28. It was a huge shock and we were in denial for a while. IVF is our only option and in Canada it's about $13,000 and none of it is covered under medical. We are now re-locating to another province in Canada so we can greatly increase our income. We never imagined leaving our home but the best things in life are worth fighting for...right?? Anyway stay strong and try to stay positive you never know what could happen.