After trying naturally with OPKs and charting for 2 1/2 yrs we finally were referred to a gynecologist. We found out about my thyroid problems last year and we found out about dh's impossibly low counts this year after two failed rounds of clomid. We were told that it was pointless to continue the clomid because his counts were too low to get me pregnant. Then we were told he needed to see a urologist and that our only chance of conceiving is IUI or IVF. Our health insurance covers everything BUT infertility... unfortunately the state we live in doesn't require it. So we are at a stand still. After only ONE semen analysis which came back at 14mil per milliliter, she said my husband is infertile and cannot father children unless we find a way to get his counts up. I just don't know what to do. We do not have the money to see the specialist. It's around 500 dollars per appointment WITH insurance coverage. This is the same reason why i was sent to a gyno and not an RE. There is no way we have the money to spend .. it's almost a thousand dollars per appointment without insurance and thats including SOME testing, not all. How does anyone survive this, financially? How do you overcome this type of thing.. I am at the point now where I have almost completely given up and stopped charting. I have no idea where i'm at in my cycle. I have wasted hundreds of dollars on pregnancy tests and ovulation tests and other fertility aids. I feel like it's all been a total waste. I don't want to continue this any more because all it does is hurt my feelings. I don't feel human anymore. But i still long for it, and its killing me. I almost want to see a therapist, so i have someone to talk to, but thats just more wasted money. I'm only 26. I have tried to let go and move on, spend time with friends go to parties, get trashed like normal people my age but it just makes me feel worse. Like im trying to fill the void and it isn't satisfying. NOTHING is. I have lost interest in life completely. I am dealing with many other medical conditions so when i'm not suffering from some debilitating illness, i'm still completely miserable. I can't even get knocked up, for christ sake. I just want something to look forward to. A goal to accomplish. I want to be a parent and I can't. What else do people do with their lives if they have no family?? I keep entering this stage of grief over and over and over again, and i can't get out of it. I don't have a clue where to start. I've lost all hope!