TTC soon, but conflicted b/c of sister's infertility issues

[jessie_m]

Hey ladies! It's been quite a while since I've been on BnB and active. Had a scare a few months ago, but I was on here back when I was pregnant with my now 7 1/2 year old. It's good to be back!

So my daughter's father and I aren't together anymore, but I've been with a wonderful man for about 2 years that I'm engaged to. We're hoping to start TTC after we get married in June.

Here is the main issue. I am very close with my sister. We even started our practice together, and we are best friends. My sister and her husband have been married for several years. They've always been NTNP, but lately have gotten more serious about wanting a baby. They are both in their mid-late 30's. She has PCOS and he has a low sperm count. My fiance and I (as well as my sister) are both chiropractors, so we've put them on lower carb diets, done acupuncture, specific adjustments, and other lifestyle changes to help them conceive. That started about a month ago. She got her period yesterday, and she's obviously pretty sad about it, but she's ready to try again this coming cycle.

I'm feeling guilty because I accidentally got pregnant at 19, and although I have PCOS as well, I know that it is possible to get pregnant for me. I'm worried that when my fiance and I start TTC that we may have an easier time of it, or even get pregnant before they do. I am having tremendous guilt over the thought of getting pregnant before her.

The other issue is that I am SO READY to have another baby. I have baby fever so bad it's almost ridiculous. So I don't particularly want to wait until she gets pregnant to start TTC, but that makes me feel so selfish.

I know if I got pregnant that my sister would be happy for me. She is the most amazing aunt to my little lady, but I know that she will also feel heart broken that it hasn't happened for her yet. She is not one to constantly feel negative about her infertility issues, but after her period started yesterday, it's like I saw that glimmer of hope she's had all month just die. I hate that she's struggling.

I guess I just need some advice, words of encouragement, something... Tell me not to feel bad, or tell me I'm being selfish. I just need some direction.

 

[ciz]

Hi lovely welcome back.

Sorry to hear your sisters fertility struggle but it’s great she has such a supporting family around.
In regards to you hun personally I don’t see it as you being selfish at all. After all a baby is something you’d love too. And you should go for it. I think maybe a better way to go about it is to bring it up with her that you and your partner are looking to start a family soon so it’s not a surprise to her. I think she may have a harder time with the news of pregnancy if you said it was unexpected. I think from what you said you and your sister have a fab bond so have a chat

 

[jessie_m]

Thanks for the response. I talked to her and she said she was happy for me and thinks we should do it. I can't help but feel like i'm upsetting or disappointing her though.

 

[Lyndag]

Hello I know it’s a different situation but my sister got pregnant not long after I had had a miscarriage I was quite emotional about it but I was so happy for. I talked to my hubby and yes it was emotional but it is what it is it’s ok to be like upset but also happy for my sister. I think it’s juts about recognising your emotions and if your sister gets upset that’s ok because what she is going through is a very difficult situation but doesn’t mean she can’t be happy for you and your partner and excited about getting a new niece or nephew.

 

[jessie_m]

That helps a lot. Thank you for sharing that with me!