Twins, any advice?

[lisaalove]

I'm still trying to adjust to the thought of twins. We found out last thursday and while I'm officially excited I'm also so nervous. Nervous because of everything I've read so far about identical twins being more of a risk than fraternal and worried about what we will find out at our next appointment and if that's when we will find out if they are momo, modi or didi. I know there is only so much I can do right now but man I am a planner to the extreme and I didn't plan for this. Twins dont run in either of our families so I never thought of it as even a remote possibility but apparently these two little ones decided they needed a friend so were getting two and I need to let go of some of my planning personality.
If you made it this far and you had identicals...
Did you go on bedrest?
When did you find out if they were momo,modi or didi?
What about gender? Idk if because they're twins it's harder to tell early (with my last two kids we found out at 16 and 14 weeks)
Did the feeling of anxiety subside?
What should I expect?
I have so many questions, it's such uncharted territory!

 

[Bevziibubble]

Congratulations!

 

[Wish2BMom]

congratulations!!! I had twins myself but they weren't identical - 2 embryos transferred and both stuck around. And I'm ELATED that they did!! I only know of one other mum @lemon_tree who had identical twin boys about 10 weeks before I had my boys and she ROCKED that pregnancy!! She's super busy with them at 2 yo right now so I don't know if she'll see this tag for a bit but if you want to look up her story, she did a great journal.
Good luck!! Take great care of yourself and your babies will do just fine!! And the end result is astoundingly awesome!

 

[lisaalove]

Thank you for your response. I'll deffinately try to find her journal. Its finally sinking in I think? Though every time I feel like its sinking in I'm reminded that it's crazy and I cant believe it. I've finally stopped waking up thinking the OB telling me its twins was a dream but I'm still just so scared and I dont quite know why.

 

[Wish2BMom]

well it's definitely daunting, i get it 100% - you plan for one baby that everyone tells you is going to change your life and now that has doubled!! AND you're a planner! Believe me, in the weeks leading up to my c-section, I was studying like a college kid!! I felt like I needed to know EVERYTHING in order to be prepared. You already have a couple of kids so I am sure you know what this is like!
My boys are almost 2 and I feel like some days I still pinch myself b/c a) I have twins and b) I have sons!! (I always assumed I'd have girls for some reason).
Maybe this might help?
*they always have a friend around, their age, who has been through what they've been through - a buddy, a sparring partner, a partner in crime
*my boys look for each other in the morning, chatter away before nap time, chatter before bedtime - some of the best sounds in the world
*it's hard but it's not always hard - I somehow was never the one that needed to nap when they napped (I do now, though, sister!). Getting stuff done around the house brought me more stress relief!
*they are each very much their own individual selves - really just brothers born at the same time
*they are treated with a touch of extra specialness just from being twins - everyone loves twins
*YOU are treated with a touch of extra specialness b/c you CARRIED twins - ENJOY THIS!! You walk around that OB office with pride!
*Do remember to just take care of YOU - eat your veggies and salmon and take your vitamins and indulge in the cupcakes. Listen to your body, don't push yourself. I truly feel this helped me so much.
*Delegate to the other kids! You have assistance built in - you'll all be learning together and I'm sure you'll do awesome!

 

[lisaalove]

I'm actually in college right now lol decided to go back and we had planned this pregnancy so I would give birth in june and be able to finish out my spring semester and enter the nursing program in the fall but well.... now I'm planning for something else. Hopefully I can still get into the nursing program either next spring or that 2021 fall... I hate being a planner sometimes. I though I had planned everything perfect. I've always had normal pregnancies, hell I've been lucky even and my ttc is very easy. (At least with this and my last son, that's why I was able to plan it so well!) What I didn't plan for was twins. I love them and I know there's a reason for this but it's scary because this plan I had was putting us in a perfect financial situation and now we will be in a less than ideal one and I'm wondering if we will even be able to make it work. I hate the unknown and this is something I know nothing about and now i just have to wait. I've read scientific journals about twin pregnancies and I was going to nursing school specifically so I could become a L&D nurse specializing in lactation consulting I know my babies and this is making me realize I know nothing about multiples or the struggles multiple moms face. I know it will make me a better nurse in the end and a better advocate for my patients but for now I have to be the patient and that's what I'm scared of.
Everyone keeps telling me they're going to be girls (wishful thinking I assume considering I'm the only girl in my family and all the grandchildren are also boys) I on the other hand have a gut feeling they're boys. Lol this gut feeling that I am just a boy mom. Or maybe I'm coming to fear girls since I also know nothing about them
Thanks for the kind words again I know it will be a learning experience and we will all need to learn together. I just want my next appointment to hurry up. 8 more days (not including today) I'm hoping we get an ultrasound so I can see them again and maybe they'll be big enough to actually see this time since I'll be 10w1d
Oh random question actually! Did yours measure behind? Is that a thing with twins? I know exactly when I ovulated and there's literally no possible way they're 4 days behind because I got a bfp at 7dpo which would have made it only 3dpo and that really is impossible (at least I've never heard of a bfp that early!)

 

[Wish2BMom]

That's so cool about your nursing plans!! Yep, the best thing I ever did was just roll with things. I quickly realized that a lot of it was out of my hands so...just zen'ed out.
Mine did not measure behind at all but I think I was lucky. I am sure a difference of a couple days is no big deal at all. My boys were basically full term singletons, just in my belly at the same time. One was 7.03, the other was 6.05.
So funny, I realize now I wouldn't have a clue what to do with girls, though I was so shocked when I heard '2 boys'! Now I can't picture having girls at all!

 

[lisaalove]

Thanks! I know most babies who measure behind are caught up by 12w so I wasnt sure if it was different with twin pregnancies. Does the being tired during pregnancy ever stop though?

 

[pinkwaters]

hey hun! Hope you’re doing well! I’m at the end of my twin pregnancy, Didi twins through IVF, so we did find out quite early around 6-7 weeks and kept confirming each appointment after

No bed rest for me and they started off measuring a week ahead, slight difference in size with the boy a few grams ahead

we knew almost certainly they were fraternal due to two embryos placed back but that was confirmed around 9-12 weeks and we found out gender at 14 weeks nice and clear

still feeling anxious and googling every single thing lol bunch of YouTube videos might help you too, I’m much the same I like things planned and starting to let go and just take it as it comes

for me the second trimester was golden, first tri morning sickness hit way harder than my singleton, and well now I’m just super heavy, sleepless and dealing with hip pain. I don’t mean to scare you some people manage just fine! My friend had identical twins and you wouldn’t tell she was carrying twins at all, she had them at around 36 weeks due to decrease in growth and they’re troopers!

I’m super excited, as much as I’m anxious I just can’t wait to meet them, I’m at 35 weeks and 4 days, still no labour signs

hope you have a happy healthy pregnancy!

 

[Koifish]

I have identical twins they were modi. It is scary when you look at all the risks with these types of pregnancy’s but your OB should hopefully walk you through everything. We found out at 5 weeks (unbearably sick). We got gender a few weeks after our 12 week appointment through my blood work (weird how they can do that). Being identical they just have to verify one. I opted to not do any genetic testing outside of the blood test that I give (no amino/anything else we decided even a 1% risk wasn’t worth it). I had a perinatal Dr who is a specialist for high risk pregnancy which mine was. My pregnancy was a mess because I was so sick, had food aversion and on top of that we had to keep an eye on growth and fluids. I was told bed rest at 21 weeks but got it modified so I could go to work but I was only allowed to sit at my desk or use the restroom lol. We did have a complication with one which was diagnosed after he was born. He was a week behind for a chunk of the pregnancy. I went into PTL at 33 weeks and due to the issues with one we had an e c-sect. Both had NICU stays one was a feeder/grower and the other had a 3 month stay and 2 surgeries. They are both happy healthy 4 year olds now. You basically just have to roll with it. There is no planning for any of it.

Having twins is amazing. They have their own little best friend. It was daunting at first but once you get used to it things get easier. The first year I thought was the hardest. Now it’s easy and I do love having both of them, it’s amazing. They look a like but they are absolutely two different people!

 

[Wish2BMom]

the exhaustion stopped for me in the 2nd tri - I could stay awake for a whole movie! I had a dream pregnancy, though (thankfully after all the trying, I caught a break!) - no food aversions or morning sickness, no extreme exhaustion and really no swelling until the month before they were due. At work I had to walk around a lot so I think that helped a lot,I drank a ton of water and kept eating really well. But I could not let a cupcake walk by without eating it. I gained about 60lbs total and it all fell off within 3 weeks after having them.

 

[lisaalove]

Thanks guys for trying but I found out I lost them.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I'm so sorry for your loss

 

[Wish2BMom]

oh lisa, i'm so very sorry for your loss how horrible. I'm heartbroken for you.
Please take care of yourself.

 

[pinkwaters]

Sorry for your loss dear
Take care of yourself hun