unnecessarily punishing myself?

[Char.due.jan]

Hi, I've posted this in teen pregnancy too but want to get a range of answers :

I really want a natural drug-free birth.. but my pain threshold isn't too good. Everyone is making comments such as 'you won't be able to not have an epidural with what you're like with pain' etc.

I haven't taken any pain relief throughout this pregnancy such as paracetamol even when I've been in total agony, just to prove a point to myself and to 'prepare' a little. I seem to have got it into my head this will help me cope better :/

Am I just punishing myself from other people's comments and has anyone had a drug-free or minimal drug birth that doesn't have a great pain tolerance?

Thanks ladies x

 

[Mervs Mum]

I just attended a client who had a totally drug free birth with her first and described herself as having a low pain threshold. She hypnobirthed the whole way through and arrived at hostiptal fully dilated, calm and in control. Try not to let other people's issues become your own

 

[casann]

I palnned on having a natural birth too but like you my pain threshold is zero so i ended up getting everythin !!! I really regret it now as nothing worked , didin't even take the edge off and i even had an epidural which did zilt !!!! Next time i am definatly going to do it naturally . Just try and convince yourself it won't work properly , but don't be afraid to accept some if you really can't cope , we're only human after all !Have you thought about a water birth ? Thats what i'm going to do this time. I read something earlier that stated warm water is the second most effective pain relief out there and barriering on an epidural .
Good luck i really hope you get the birth you wanted xx

 

[Char.due.jan]

Thanks ladies

And Casann- I am planning a water birth I just hope one of the birthing pools is available in my delivery suite when I go into labour!! lol x

 

[barbarap]

haven't had my baby yet but have read many stories of women that say they surprised themselves when it came to delivering the baby and coping with the pain.
you can always take it a step at a time.
it sounds like the best coping mechanism is slow, deep breathing.
then try the TENS machine, if you see you can't take it then ask for gas and air/pethidine, if you still can't take it... you know the magic word... 'epidural'.
i would never see it as punishing yourself, we all have different views and expectations of what we want our labour to be like and I think having a drug-free birth is a very realistic and achievable goal.
it's what i'm going to try anyway...
best of luck.
b.

 

[Mervs Mum]

There is lots you can do to prepare yourself mentally. If you think it will be painful - it will be! If you understand the effect that fear and tension have on your body when it's trying to labour, then it really doesnt have to be

Start reading positive childbirth books - Anything by Ina May Gaskin, Sheila Kitzinger, Sheila Stubbs or Penny Simpkin for starters

 

[Char.due.jan]

There is lots you can do to prepare yourself mentally. If you think it will be painful - it will be! If you understand the effect that fear and tension have on your body when it's trying to labour, then it really doesnt have to be

Start reading positive childbirth books - Anything by Ina May Gaskin, Sheila Kitzinger, Sheila Stubbs or Penny Simpkin for starters

Thanks I'll look up those books and have a read..x

 

[casann]

Thanks ladies

And Casann- I am planning a water birth I just hope one of the birthing pools is available in my delivery suite when I go into labour!! lol x

read something about that too and it advises to get your own just incase . Not sure if thats a possibility for you ? x

 

[Mervs Mum]

And dont let people spoil this for you honey. Be strong. You know what you want and who are they to say otherwise. x

 

[Jenniflower]

Some really good advice someone once gave me was take it one step at a time. No need to think about the whole picture right now. Start with your first contractions. Breathe through them. Stay calm and remember being tense will only serve you to have more pain. If you get through that then just look at the next step and try to get through the contractions that are closer together. Maybe you need to simply close your eyes, listen to some relaxing music and go completely within yourself and your baby so that no one else exists. But just take it one step at a time. You'll have no idea how you or your body will handle it. Some people break bones and are fine, others are in horrible pain. You just never know. And having people be horribly rude and telling you what you will and won't be needing is just their way of trying to make it sound like they know better than you.

You know your self better than anyone else. Just put yourself in a bubble leading up to your birth and remember when people use words like pain and and unbearable contractions, you know what they mean are simply tightening sensations and waves that are bringing your baby closer to you!

 

[lilprince]

I was 21 (now 35) when I had my first baby. She was born at home and my whole pregnancy I was such a baby! Whined and complained over everything! I had set my mind on not letting the pain get to me during the labor and when thinking of pain meds I thought I have no choice but to do this without them. (Not saying that would be best for anyone, it just worked for me). My labor was 5 hrs long and it hurt but it was bearable. My midwife (who Ive now known for 14 yrs and is helping again for the 3rd time ) told be afterwards she was kind of worried about me because I complained so much during my pregnancy and she was worried it would be a tough birth. It was a perfect birth! I just set my mind to it and did it! I to this day have a super low pain tolerance but for some reason when it comes to birth I just do it.

You'll be fine hun! Just go with what feels right for you and just know deep down that woman were made for birthin babies You can do it!!!!

 

[kiwimama]

Don't let anyone else tell you how you will cope and what pain relief you will need. I do think that you do need to mentally prepare yourself for labour. I didn't last time, although I went into it thinking I could do it but I hadn't done anything else and although I did get to 7cms before going to the hospital, I didn't cope and control myself very well at all.

I am doing hypnobirthing classes and reading the books etc. this time around and although I'm a little nervous, I know once I get through the classes, I'll be feeling much stronger.

 

[summer rain]

I know some ladies who are 'babies with pain' but when it comes to birth its a whole other ball game for them; they just have this amazing strength. Don't listen to others hun. If you feel you need something stronger if your labour is really long etc then so be it; but there is nothing wrong with giving things a chance without first.

 

[KittenKat]

I'm one of those people that all but cries when she stubs her toe, but so far I have had 3 drug free births (unless you count the local given for episiotomy with my DS)

Even to this day I am surprised at myself and my body, if it helps at all my three births went in this order. 1. Undiagnosed breech, 2. Normal presentation, 3. Back to back presentation. But even when I had no clue ( was 20 when I had DS) my body seemed quite clued up on what it was supposed to be doing and when.

 

[Jenniflower]

I'm one of those people that all but cries when she stubs her toe, but so far I have had 3 drug free births (unless you count the local given for episiotomy with my DS)

Even to this day I am surprised at myself and my body, if it helps at all my three births went in this order. 1. Undiagnosed breech, 2. Normal presentation, 3. Back to back presentation. But even when I had no clue ( was 20 when I had DS) my body seemed quite clued up on what it was supposed to be doing and when.

Did you deliver breech then?

 

[KittenKat]

I did indeed, know these days they prefer to do a C-section with breech presentation, especially with unproven pelvis' but Morgan gave them no choice. By the time I realised (or should I say MIL realised) I was in labour and we got to the hospital at midnight I was fully dilated. That was when they discovered he was breech, bum first, basically curled up. They put in a thingy in my arm just so drugs "could" be administered, as I was 36 weeks they did lots of rushing about trying to see if there was room in SCBU, which there wasnt, so they had to try and see if I could be moved to Gloucester as that was the nearest hospital at the time with room.

The two OB's on call had to be ran back from the break room where they had hoped to grab a coffee as they had both just come out of a C-section, but they only had time to get through the door before having to come back to me, I was up in stirrups as they needed to do the epi, my son was then born at 1.50am weighing in at 6lb 4, 3 oz heavier than the full term baby delivered just before him

 

[aliss]

Here's my thought as someone who did natural, G&A,morphine,then 2 epidurals (all in one labour!)

**It's not just about pain**

There can be very serious side effects and complications to pain medications. The morphine caused my son's heart rate to dip very dangerously, and the prolonged induction made labour difficult, and the epidural left me with no ability to push - all these interventions in one led to (what I believe to be) a contribution to his shoulder dystocia that almost killed him.

Yes, having an epidural let me lay in bed and watch TV & sleep, rather than be in agony when I was doing it naturally. But was that worth it? Hell no. I went through months of agony after dealing with a baby who suffered clavicle fractures and breast refusal as a result of his pain.

So my theory on doing it naturally ... yes, it hurts like hell (almost always), but do not just look at it as a pain/no pain issue. Doing things naturally means avoiding the complications and potentially dangerous side effects that can occur.

Good luck!

 

[Jenniflower]

Here's my thought as someone who did natural, G&A,morphine,then 2 epidurals (all in one labour!)

**It's not just about pain**

There can be very serious side effects and complications to pain medications. The morphine caused my son's heart rate to dip very dangerously, and the prolonged induction made labour difficult, and the epidural left me with no ability to push - all these interventions in one led to (what I believe to be) a contribution to his shoulder dystocia that almost killed him.

Yes, having an epidural let me lay in bed and watch TV & sleep, rather than be in agony when I was doing it naturally. But was that worth it? Hell no. I went through months of agony after dealing with a baby who suffered clavicle fractures and breast refusal as a result of his pain.

So my theory on doing it naturally ... yes, it hurts like hell (almost always), but do not just look at it as a pain/no pain issue. Doing things naturally means avoiding the complications and potentially dangerous side effects that can occur.

Good luck!

Well said!

 

[angelic_one]

hiya i'm the same as you, i really want to have no pain relief but wonder if im punishing myself uneccessarily. There's different reasons i don't want each type of pain relief and altogether they've got me thinking i might just try and do it naturally. I've already written in my birth plan that i'm not to be offered anything except possibly gas and air or an epidural but there are strong reasons i don't want those now. I think i'll manage if i can have a water birth but i'm really worried cuz i think it's unlikely the pool will be available. there's only one at the hospital. I think i'll just have to see how it goes and hold out as long as i possibly can! Am planning to haunt this forum a bit over the next few weeks as well.