Unsupportive Spouse

[Jencocoa]

Anyone dealing with this? My husband has a lot of demons and we were on brink of separation prior to BFP. It sucks not having love and support.

 

[Amygdala]

Would you be open to couples counselling? It sucks not having support, especially in the early stages. You deserve better than that.

 

[Breeelizabeth]

I agree with Amygdala, some counseling might really help the both of you, if that's a viable option.

You need support and love and I'm sorry that you're not getting it right now. *hugs*

 

[Jencocoa]

I would do counseling. There's a lot of unhealed wounds. He's a recovering alcoholic-addict who is off the wagon and refusing help so unless he chooses to try and get better I can't do much about it. I would hate to get a divorce pregnant and I'm scared. How can take care if 4 kids and autism and finances alone?

 

[kristymarie17]

You can do anything you put your mind to.

Do you have family or friends that would be able to help you if you needed it?

 

[Jencocoa]

Yes my parents will help. It just sucks. He's not working anyways. I have been the primary owner. I have to call degrees and a full-time job but I'm a teacher so I don't make a ton and autism is so very expensive. We never have enough money. And I hate to keep having children that I have to leave to go to work. But I don't have a choice. Just wish I could be home with them when they're little. He got to stay at home with the kids and honestly I resent that. When we met he was the primary owner and I work part time to supplement but after the first year of our marriage has been all me…

 

[Breeelizabeth]

I don't know where you're located but perhaps government assistance (welfare) could be a possibility if you're really struggling and need to leave and even if you don't.

I'm a young single mum to a beautiful little girl who has a rare, life threatening medical condition as well as developmental problems etc. I cannot return to work as caring for her is a full time job in itself. I survive off of welfare payments, and I've learnt how to budget. Things are still tight, but we have food on the table, a roof over our heads. We're clothed and taken care of. Perhaps it's worth looking into and knowing that you have support if you do decide that there are no other options but to leave.

 

[GoldenRatio]

Im sorry if i sound ignorant but im just curious if you were close to getting divorced before bfp, how come you had unprotected sex?

 

[Jencocoa]

Im sorry if i sound ignorant but im just curious if you were close to getting divorced before bfp, how come you had unprotected sex?

We didn't. It was one of the only times we'd had sex in a couple months and we used a condom. It broke. I have literally never once had sex without a condom with him in years. I understand you are curious but that felt a bit unsupportive. Even contraception is not 100 percent. He's not a bad man, just a sick man. Addiction is an awful disease. I've supported him plenty but at some point if he's not going to choose recovery and get help. I'd have to leave.

 

[Mercer4663]

Anyone dealing with this? My husband has a lot of demons and we were on brink of separation prior to BFP. It sucks not having love and support.

Hello Jencocoa: ,
First of all congratulations on your new addition. This should be an exciting time for you and I am sad that you are going through this in this moment. Have you considered counseling? This might be a good opportunity for you to work on the marriage while preparing for the baby and to also communicate some of your concerns. In the meantime, if your husband is not able to support you right now due to issues he is working on, have you considered finding a local support group for mommies or women? These groups can be life savers, offer amazing support and are often offered through the local church. Also, this may be a time to lean on your family and friends a little more for support if that is available to you.

I hope this helps and I know that everything will work out for you and your family.