Update after nearly 4 months

[MumToBe2012]

I agree with Laura tbh. Things change when a baby is brought into the world, especially for the people involved. Some men refuse to man up when you're pregnant, but as soon as that baby is born some realise that a baby is REAL and it's only then that they chose to be there for their baby. It's horrible, because as the person that's pregnant, YOU'RE the one that has to deal with the what ifs, the changes to your body and the massive changes your life is going to have. As the mum you can't get away from the situation as easily as the dad can. But you have to look at things realistically - you cannot determine how things are going to be once the baby is here because it hasn't happened yet, same with you can't judge how great of a parent someone is going to be until they ARE a parent. Besides, sometimes a baby can make someone a better person/more mature.

 

[Jo]

Cleaned up x

 

[daveww]

well went to see my sol this morning , its gonna take a few days too put all the paperwork together so she made a appointment for me to come back next wed when it will all be done ready for me to sign , so we can get that submitted to the courts on weds then its just a case of waiting to hear back from them with a date ! .... i actually feel as tho things have just picked up a gear and there isnt much longer to go , think i mite be getting a bit carried away with myself tho lol

 

[Lemonflower]

Hi Dave. Do you get get financial help for your legal fees ?
xx

 

[daveww]

Hi Dave. Do you get get financial help for your legal fees ?
i havent yet ive paid everything myself but im made a application to help with some of the costs

 

[Lemonflower]

Thanks Dave. FOB works full time and I was wondering whether he's have to pay for courts and solicitors.
x

 

[daveww]

Thanks Dave. FOB works full time and I was wondering whether he's have to pay for courts and solicitors.
x

they will do a assesment to determine if he qualifies for legal aid and how much... if he has a partner livin with him they will assess them as a couple... if he or they earn a large amount of money they will have to pay all costs themeselves ... if they earn not so much they may get some help with legal costs such as they might pay 50% of the fees etc

 

[Laura2919]

How does that work? Do you get a whopping bill at the end? Does it worry you that it might be a lot of money, I am talking a lot!

I'm glad things are progressing, hopefully that wont take long and you'll get a court date

 

[daveww]

well for just general stuff like a hour with my sol or letters n things ure talking around the region of £100 per hour..... the overall costs to go to court tho ranges from around £2000 to maybe £8000 it depends on how my girls mother chooses to act .. if she doesnt turn up at court or makes things very difficult at court then the court may have to wait a couple of weeks to get more information which involves another court date which in turn means more money ! .... ideally if she is open , honest and upfront about everything then it should not take more than two court dates ( i doubt she will be that) .... it worries me no end that it could get so expensive but what option do i have? .. if it came down to it i could live very happily with not much money but getting time with my lil girl ... but i could never live happy well off and fairly wealthy but not spending time with my girl ... so its a easy choice really

 

[Laura2919]

Wow

 

[daveww]

it really all boils down to the mother in a way ... if she comes to court and is just honest then it can be very straight forward and not cost too much , but if a mother wants to be horrible and not turn up to court , then on another occasion turn up but say she needs more time .. stuff like that ... then it means there is more court cases more letters more litigation thats when the costs will start growing

 

[Dopeyjopey]

I'm so sorry it's been so long. I can't imagine how that must feel. But it's great that nurserylet you contact them. Fingers crossed your ex doesn't make things any more difficult.

On another note - she doesn't know how lucky your daughter is to have a dad that cares so much. Los of us in here would kill to have their ex make an effort.