update on the woman who puts stuff on Marley's grave....

[v2007]

Brought a lump to my throat.



V XXX

 

[cowboys angel]

Sorry for your loss, and sorry for hers. That poor lady.

 

[BlaireUK]

Gosh, this post is heartbreaking . I'm so sorry for both your losses. Life is so unfair.

 

[Bluetomato]

That poor lady, but how kind of her to keep an eye on Marleys grave for you. It may be possible for her to find her babys grave, although it is likely it will be a mass grave or baby may have been buried with an adult. But still, having an idea where baby is buried may be comforting to her.
Sending lots of love xxx

 

[mommy43]

what a sad but lovely story
unfortunatly that was the norm, my mum lost a baby 40 plus yrs ago n she didnt see him he was taken away & was buried, probably put in an adults coffin she has managed to find out which cemetry but not thhe exact grave all she knows it was someone who died the same week as her baby
its so sad the way they treated parents & babys back then hope the lady can find some comfort helping u take care of lo n of course u can too knowing someone is always there

 

[babyno9]

aw thats really sad for that lady What a touching story. x

 

[kgriffin]

I agree, i think this is a lovely yet heartbreaking story and she seems to have the best of intentions, it really pulls at your heart strings.

 

[maybebaby3]

what a sad story that poor poor woman. it is nice that you can find some solace in the thought that she is looking after your LO's grave.

 

[Khadijah-x]

ooooooo thats sooooooo cute of her!!!
Im so sorry for your loss, it mist be comforting knowing, like you said, about the grave never being a mess x
My gran had a still born at 40 weeks and is convinced the doctor caused it
She had the baby, hospital said 'you can go now nothing here for you'. she had no death records, no card, no grave-burial details, nothing
Its so sad how some women are treated !!!! x

 

[20102001]

That's so sad ... but so sweet and touching at the same time

A while ago i posted asking if it was weird that an elderly woman i speak to at the cemetery puts things on my baby's grave.

well, recently, i had the time to talk to her about it.

I asked her, Politely of course, why she felt the need to contribute to her grave, because, as someone said on my last post, you wouldn't put a rattle in a pram without asking permission.
She apologised for it, which i told her she need not do, i simply wanted a reason why. She then went on to explain.

This woman is 69 years old.
She has visited the cemetery for the last 40 something years with a bunch of flowers for a grave. Yet she knows of no one buried there.
She lost a baby when she was in her 20's, at 34 weeks. Her baby wasn't treated as a lost family member, and was taken away from her in the hospital.
she received a death certificate and a card stating a burial, but never knew where or when her baby was buried. She never saw her child after she was taken away. All she knew is that they most likely fit the coffin in with an adult when they were buried, or buried with several other babies in a mass grave.
She goes around every week putting flowers on a grave "just in case her baby is there".
She told me that when she saw me visiting every week to go to my gran's grave, she felt a longing for what i had. I started showing very early, so for at least 6 weeks she had noted my bump. I don't know if it made her feel happy or sad...
She said that when I lost Marley, and buried her, she felt a need to watch over her when I wasn't there. She lives across the road from the cemetery, and says she keeps an eye out during the day, to make sure Marley's windmills are still turning, and her teddies are sitting up straight.
At first i thought this was a bit strange. But now I find it quite comforting. As long as this lady is around, I will never go to my baby's grave to see it disturbed or messy, or to see teddies and flowers strewn by the wind.
I am touched by this woman's story. It sounds like something that should be in a film..
I feel for her, because she is far worse off than me.
I lost my baby, but I know exactly where she is. I closed the coffin, and I carried her to her grave. I know she is definitely where I placed her. But this woman has no idea where her baby is buried. Not even any proof that she *was* buried. She may never know where her baby is, or what has happened to her.


sorry for the long post.
I just needed to get this out there..

You know what I can just imagine that actually ...

 

[nalini878]

i think it is a beautiful thing what this woman is doing. my heart goes out to the both of you xxx

 

[djw47]

I cried when I read that. I'm sorry for your loss and hers. I know somewhat of how she feels because when I lost my baby, we were given time to say goodbye at the hospital but no one encouraged us to look into a burial or anything. I didn't know about this forum for a while and didn't know it was normal to take many pictures and have a grave. So the hospital took over the remains of our baby. We have 2 pictures. We never knew it was ok for us to WANT more than that or that there could possibly any help to afford a funeral. My heart goes out to everyone who experiences a loss. It has been the most life changing event I have ever experienced and I will truly never be the same.

 

[mdjoy]

Thats so sweet. It was very touching.

 

[Sovereign]

That is so sad but so lovely that she looks after Marley for you when you're not there x

 

[Becca2704]

Dont really know what to say,feel strange after reading how tht.how sad but comforting xx

 

[Vickieh1981]

Am actually in tears now. Don't you just want to give her a big hug? x

 

[jessicarachel]

 

[Xlaura_BellaX]

im in tears reading this so heratbreaking

 

[Mon_n_john]

Oh I just wept like a baby when I read that. That poor woman, how very sweet and thoughtful of her to care for your baby's grave like that. I think it helps her fill a little bit of the void she must be feeling. What a heartwarming story, she is a very special lady.

 

[BabyBoyle]

Oh that poor woman

That is a very touching, thoughtful story.. Marley is very lucky to have an extra special guardian angel too..

If i ever decide to let Madison go, i would be so comforted knowing someone was looking out for her xxx