UPDATE! Relative Adoption

[ayclobes]

Ugh he sounds like a complete waste of space! If he can't be bothered to see his son for just 4 hours a week then how in the heck is he going to dedicate himself to raising his son full time? :growl: Really hope you get custody!

Well, I think he cancelled the visits because he knew he was in violation of his probation..but he got picked up anyways. If i'm right, a probation violation could result in prison time for him...and that would really screw him up for this custody battle right now, which is fine with me..b/c lil man already calls us "mama" and "dada". And, in our state, i was able to see his priors online, and he has prior/history with anger problems...like he has a couple closed casese for domestic assault and domestic assault with strangulation....oh yeah, im sure they would let him parent this baby knowing about his past...

 

[ayclobes]

UPDATE!!!

POS FOB had court today and this is what my SIL told me happened---

--He admitted to using METH. He was given a sentence of 133 days in jail, but they credited him for time served..so he'll only have to serve 87 days in jail. Not a lengthy sentence at all! But, the length of the sentence doesnt really matter, as the truth that, he was trying to provide a stable environment and that he could parent T, he is using. The social worker on the case said the admission will go in her court report for the December 4th hearing and that their plan is to proceed with termination. She doesn't know if he will still fight it or agree to sign away his parental rights.

T can be transitioned to our care 100% except for when dh and I work on the weekends b/c we don't have certified care lined up, so until he's out of the foster care system//we've adopted him 100%, my sil will have him every other weekend to help us out..which is great!!!

 

[ayclobes]

I talked to the SW last week, and his care will be transitioned to us december 8th! just in time for christmas! and, i've been thinking about what to do/plan for his 1st birthdayy! ahhhh!

 

[britt0285]

Thats fantastic! I hope things continue going well.

 

[Mummylou23]

Hi there any update on this I am pleased you are getting him xx

 

[ayclobes]

There was court on December 4th. It was supposed to be a review hearing for T's CHIPS(child in need of protection services). FOB's attorney blocked BM from signing away her rights incase FOB gets custody..so she can pay child support! wtf! FOB said in july he couldnt pay child support, BM is on diability and ssi, and shes homeless..how the hell can she pay any CS? I wonder if she can say she cant afford it either. FOB requested visits while in jail--inmates are allowed 1hr a month visits, so he gets that 1hr today. And, he's still pursuing custody! I dont see how after his last admittance at his last court date in november he still thinks he can get custody! T would not be moving to my home TOMORROW if they thought he had a chance. We all believe it is his attorney's doing..and just dragging it all out. ridiculous!

 

[ayclobes]

T turned 1 1/31! FOB agreed to the adoption, and we have a contact agreement worked out. It's a joy having T, but somedays I want to pull my hair out! the boys are 12months and 6 days apart in age..its crazy hectic somedays...but wouldnt trade it for anything! The adoption paperwork has been started...it could take 6 months to 1 year or more to finalize the adoption..

T is walking! he started walking a couple weeks after his 1st birthday. He doesnt understand that the baby is his brother..so he's testing boundaries. He's tried to hit his baby brother multiple times, but never succeeds.

 

[puppymom32]

I cant even imagine how crazy it would be with two little ones to care for. Sounds like you are doing a great job and so glad POS FOB finally came to his senses.

 

[ayclobes]

Thank you! It's especially challenging when my dh works his 11 hour days. We have one of those super playard things, so T has to be in there when im home with just the kids (he has plenty of toys to occupy him, but hes used to not playing by himself). He's always trying to hit our tv, ect but i know its the age

 

[AndreaFlorida]

Just read your journal Prayers that everything goes smoothly and the adoption can finalize within 6 months Here in FL its kinda nice because you can finalize in 90 days which is SUPER duper fast We should finalize our girls in June hopefully

 

[ayclobes]

Just read your journal Prayers that everything goes smoothly and the adoption can finalize within 6 months Here in FL its kinda nice because you can finalize in 90 days which is SUPER duper fast We should finalize our girls in June hopefully

Thank You! The social worker told our licensor that it will probably take closer to a year, which is ok, but we'd prefer it be shorter than that...but I guess its just the paperwork. I wish it was 90 days!

 

[ayclobes]

Our niece is 1 month pregnant :/ this is the BM of Tristan, We are mentally prepariing to get this baby too. She said she will keep having babies until they let her keep one. When the county she lives in becomes aware of the fact that she has and OPEN chips case in another county, that is a HUGE red flag!!!!

 

[Aimee4311]

Wow. She's going to keep getting pregnant on purpose until they let her keep one? Why does she think this will help her? She seems very irresponsible.

I hope everything is finalized with T ASAP!

 

[AndreaFlorida]

Wow, that is so horrible people just think they can do whatever.....I'm scared our girls parents will have more children...and there is no possible way we could take anymore children we have 4 special needs children...and that is a LOT lol...I couldn't imagine taking on another....I wish people would stop being selfish in the world and realize these children suffer from their parents stupidity....its so sad. Glad they have wonderful adoptive parents like ourselves to take care of these precious angels....Thank God we are here on Earth for those children!

 

[ayclobes]

Wow. She's going to keep getting pregnant on purpose until they let her keep one? Why does she think this will help her? She seems very irresponsible.

I hope everything is finalized with T ASAP!

She thinks that having a baby will make her life "normal" she has FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome) and that is why she could never be the parent her babies need her to be, its sad. I guess her chips case is now CLOSED but it'll still come up i'd think. T's guardian said in Hennepin county you can kill your child and they wont even do anything i guess...

 

[ayclobes]

Wow, that is so horrible people just think they can do whatever.....I'm scared our girls parents will have more children...and there is no possible way we could take anymore children we have 4 special needs children...and that is a LOT lol...I couldn't imagine taking on another....I wish people would stop being selfish in the world and realize these children suffer from their parents stupidity....its so sad. Glad they have wonderful adoptive parents like ourselves to take care of these precious angels....Thank God we are here on Earth for those children!

My husband and i told T's social worker and guardian that IF we end up taking this baby too, then we are going to tell her that we refuse to keep raising her children! T was SO lucky he doesnt have any FAS symptoms--she did METH 2x while pregnant with him before they locked her up!

 

[ayclobes]

We attempted to create some boundaries with M. I told her via fb message that for future references she needed to get our permission before posting any pictures of T on fb. Mainly because she would need to respect us as his parents and by asking to do so shows she does respect our roles as his parents. I also stated that she needed to ask us for pictures of T from time to time. I asked her to remove the two pictures of T that she did post because they were not hers to begin with. This whole boundary thing kind of exploded on me. She replied by saying.... "I don't need to ask you for permission to post pictures of MY son...i'm HIS mom, I don't need to ask you for pictures of him, you need to send me them anytime you have some"

Let me remind everyone..she VOLUNTARILY signed her rights to him over to the state..so right now he IS a foster child and a WARD of our STATE. She has no rights to him, therefore...she can no longer post his pictures! that is illegal to begin with. this pissed me off because 1. he is her son, but she is his BM, not his mom. 2. I read a quote..."a mom is someone who cares for a child day in and day out...24/7" does M do this? NO. I will be damned if when she sees him next *7/13 only because she is seeing her gma and he will need to be along* she comes at him with "im your mom, mom loves you, ect" he will call her M or Aunt M.


And his adoption should be final by the fall...before he turns 2!!!

 

[ayclobes]

Another Update!!

Our next court date is November 12th--as of now it is "post permanency review" but, we are hoping that the date will be cancelled/rescheduled and will hopefully be the adoption hearing instead.

T has been learning and growing like a weed...he is a happy toddler, now if we could just get the screaming to stop..

M seen T on 7/13 and she played with him for maybe an hour and decided that was enough of that...she was smoking cigarettes and on her phone the whole rest of the day. She went home at 5pm that day and said she was so exhausted from the 1hour she played with T that she had supper and went to bed..then she said she didn't get up til noon the next day! if that how she felt after 1 hour..how is she going to take care of the new baby? who will get up in the middle of night with the baby? She no longer posts anything or asks about him to my husband or our SIL. She is more into her 2nd pregnancy--she is due in December. She got pregnant intentionally--she thinks that because she couldn't take care of T this new baby will be different..but everyone says we will get a call about taking the baby too and we will tell them politely no. She has been using drugs, drinking with this pregnancy.

 

[AndreaFlorida]

Wow, no words!!

I have a friend of mine from school when I was younger...and I just recently began talking to her. I even watched her little boy today he's 2 months old. Anyways she already has two children that have been taken from her and adopted out and then she has the new baby....shes still not on birth control I really hope she doesn't have to lose this child to....but she's kinda in the same boat. She however DOES try to do whats right but is low on funds and a car to take her places to sign up for the assistance that she needs. I watched her little boy today he was a bundle of joy. I fell in love with him. I feel so bad for her though I put my foot down today and told her I couldn't watch him all of the time. I have 4 kids of my own so having 5 wasn't much more really. The fact is I am in college and raising my four babies I need time with them to, so I had to tell her it couldn't be on a day to day basis but a just once in a while thing. I enjoyed keeping him but know however that if I keep him daily I'd get behind on my school work etc.

She even told me that she only has 5 diapers left for the rest of the week for him I about cried my eyes out.

She works and tries really hard but she is neglecting the fact that she could go get assistance thats just her being lazy. I wish she'd kick herself into gear because she really has potential.

She doesn't do drugs thank God or drink...but I know she could do better for herself and her little boy.

I feel you here besides drug/alcohol effect it hurts me to watch that...and know that some of us who have struggled with infertility for years and years see all these other women having babies so easily it breaks my heart for the children involved.

Hoping and praying it gets changed to an adoption hearing for you guys!! Lots of hugs your way! She needs to help herself before she needs any other children. I hope she doesn't get to keep this new baby because it sounds to me she wouldn't take care of the baby and the baby's life would be in danger

Another friend of mine today however went in for her 18 weeks scan. She asked prayer for the past 3 days because she "felt like something wasn't right"....she went in and the baby had no heartbeat. She gave birth to him this morning and it really breaks my heart for her Life is really NOT FAIR! The little angel boy was her 5th baby....so her other four children's hearts are really broken She had the cutest little baby belly and I cannot imagine her hurt and pain today.....My heart is aching

 

[ayclobes]

oh my gosh! I know that if you have children taken from you and they get adopted, if something were to happen or something the county the mom lives in would look at the case file on her and why the kids got taken away. But, your friend needs to get over the fact that shes lazy..she needs assistance and needs to get it done..5 diapers to last the week? that's impossible. preston uses that in 2-3hours..so its unlikely that will last her. Hopefully she can get assistance soon enough!!

When I was pregnant with preston, I always feared going into the doctor and they would tell me he was not with us..i guess after all the years of TTC/infertility I never believed he'd be here...and he'll be 7 months on the 6th!

The county M lives in is already looking at her case file from when T was taken from her//CHIPS case. They are keeping an eye on her..but I feel like its too late for the baby..she's already been drinking/drugs with this baby. She acts like it was a "small price to pay" to lose T. She doesn't act like a mom who loves her kids..she only wanted to get pregnant to have a baby to have a man take care of her.. and for her to be "normal". ugh. The sad part, if the baby goes into the foster system we are not and cannot take the baby. We already have our hands full with T and P. 3 under 3 is not probable or possible. Its sad.