Upset, angry & really worried.

[PrincessJJ]

Well this evening has broken out in a war...... MIL is crying, drinking, hysterical, saying she didn't mean harm, won't do it again if it's such a big problem etc etc. saying she 'needs' her on her own, needs quality grandma time etc (time where she can play mummy she means)
making my OH feel absolutely awful by playing such a sob story. I'm here fuming and he's not knowing what to do with himself. I'm not letting this carry on though. ATM I feel I cannot trust her at all & I think it's going to be a while before I feel that having her on her own would be a good idea x

 

[Larkspur]

Well this evening has broken out in a war...... MIL is crying, drinking, hysterical, saying she didn't mean harm, won't do it again if it's such a big problem etc etc. saying she 'needs' her on her own, needs quality grandma time etc (time where she can play mummy she means)
making my OH feel absolutely awful by playing such a sob story. I'm here fuming and he's not knowing what to do with himself. I'm not letting this carry on though. ATM I feel I cannot trust her at all & I think it's going to be a while before I feel that having her on her own would be a good idea x

Stay strong! You knew she would play the drama card, trying to turn it around on you. TBH, nothing about screaming, crying, turning to alcohol, saying she 'needs' time with her granddaughter (making it about her, rather than baby) and petulantly agreeing to respect you "if it's such a big deal" rather than actually acknowledging her error, would reassure me at all.

Your OH needs to know that he doesn't need to feel bad. It's hard when you're used to a parent being an emotional manipulator but he needs to break out of the mindset that he has to placate her when she starts carrying on. It's like a toddler tantrum. You just have to ignore it and remain calm, and repeat the rules.