Upset, angry & really worried.

[PrincessJJ]

What does your OH say about it?

He tries to talk to her but in all honesty we have that many problems/issues with her it's hard for him to get her to listen
(she always borrows money, guilt trips my OH, makes us feel bad for spoiling our kids or going on holidays, cries on the phone to him a lot, always asking for favours or money, drinks too much - whilst looking after her 5yr old, bosses me around, takes advantage, takes control of my daughter, sticks her nose in everywhere, interferes, tells my son off who is no blood relation to her, tells my son not to listen to me cus she knows best, undermines me and OH to the kids, causes drama..... The list goes on)

He does try his best to tell her she's wrong etc, but it's rare she listens. She either cries and makes him feel bad, says she won't do it again and backs off for a while and then does it again any way or has a strop and ignores him.

I'm lucky in the respect that he mostly puts my feelings first and sides with me. But iv really just had enough. She is way too close for comfort and I want to move. Far far away. X

 

[sue_88]

I'm sorry she's made you feel like this, how awful. I know you probably won't, but I hope you manage to get some rest. (I know the scared feeling, my LO once choked (went blue choking) on phlegm & milk vomit and I didn't sleep for two nights even though she was fine.

I think you & your DH need serious words with that woman.....with the tag line being A Grandparent is a priveledge, not a right!!!

 

[Glitter_berry]

Oh my Gosh!!

I am so glad she is okay.

What a stupid women. I REALLY hope your husband completely agrees with you and had a word to his not so know it all mother.

 

[PrincessJJ]

I'm sorry she's made you feel like this, how awful. I know you probably won't, but I hope you manage to get some rest. (I know the scared feeling, my LO once choked (went blue choking) on phlegm & milk vomit and I didn't sleep for two nights even though she was fine.

I think you & your DH need serious words with that woman.....with the tag line being A Grandparent is a priveledge, not a right!!!

Oh gosh that's awful

I had a few choking incidents and trips to the hospital with my 1st who had pneumonia amongst other illnesses whilst he was small. So I'm so much more overprotective with my new baby as I remember being so terrified with my son.

I'm so going to use that line! So appropriate.
She has proven today that she can't be trusted with my daughter at all. X

 

[felix555]

Sounds like such a difficult situation!

I think your LO will be absolutely fine, so I hope you get some rest.

I know it's not that easy to just cut ties with family but for your own piece of mind just always be with your LO at all times when she is around. It's really upsetting that you have to do this though! Should really be able to trust your own family.

 

[Larkspur]

He tries to talk to her but in all honesty we have that many problems/issues with her it's hard for him to get her to listen
(she always borrows money, guilt trips my OH, makes us feel bad for spoiling our kids or going on holidays, cries on the phone to him a lot, always asking for favours or money, drinks too much - whilst looking after her 5yr old, bosses me around, takes advantage, takes control of my daughter, sticks her nose in everywhere, interferes, tells my son off who is no blood relation to her, tells my son not to listen to me cus she knows best, undermines me and OH to the kids, causes drama..... The list goes on)

He does try his best to tell her she's wrong etc, but it's rare she listens. She either cries and makes him feel bad, says she won't do it again and backs off for a while and then does it again any way or has a strop and ignores him.

She sounds like a Class A manipulator and I'm sorry to say she will absolutely continue to undermine, boss and disregard you for as long as you and (moreso) your OH continue to let her behaviour 'work'.

She needs to start hearing 'NO's that mean NO. "NO Mum, you can't borrow 20 bucks. I'm sorry you feel that way, but your budget is your responsibility." "NO, MIL, you may NOT see the grandkids again without supervision until you start respecting our decisions as their parents." "NO Mum, you will not tell our children not to listen to us, or you will not be seeing them anymore." "You can cry all you like, but I'm not going to feel bad." "I'm putting the phone down now, and I'll be leaving it off the hook."

Frankly, I would be calling child services on anyone who drank while looking after their child, or gave overdoses of medicine and insisted they would do the same again. She doesn't sound like a fit guardian.

 

[LindsayLucas]

I would be fuming and would definitely tell her off.

 

[sue_88]

How's your LG today? X

 

[PrincessJJ]

She seems much better, keeps holding her head when she cries which I'm a little concerned about but other than that she seems better thank you for asking xx

 

[Mum2BKW]

Have you decided on how you and Hubbie will deal with your mil?

I agree with the pp who said don't leave your children alone with her, personally I would let her know that she can only have supervised time with the children now until she has proven herself responsible enough to look after them properly. Simple as that. Good luck!

 

[PrincessJJ]

Have you decided on how you and Hubbie will deal with your mil?

I agree with the pp who said don't leave your children alone with her, personally I would let her know that she can only have supervised time with the children now until she has proven herself responsible enough to look after them properly. Simple as that. Good luck!

Not really decided. I'm dreading the morning as I will see her on the school run. She's forever asking to have LO on her own, but if that's the type of thing she does with me there god only knows what she might do on her own stuck in a really difficult position as it's my birthday this week and we had agreed she could babysit for a few hours whilst we went for a meal & then my mum have her for a while over the weekend. All hell will break loose if my mum has her and mil doesn't.
Oh agrees that she needs talking to, but says we should still let her babysit as we told her she could. I don't know what to do. So hard having atmosphere when I have to see her everyday at the school and cus she lives so close xxx

 

[sequeena]

I'm sorry sweetie I'm glad your LO is ok

I would tell her flat out she is not to be trusted with your daughter (or your other child to be quite honest!). She is not the mother. She does not know best. It is not her job to act the way she has and I'm appalled that she said she'd happily do it again. I would keep your children well away. Let her kick off, stamp her feet etc she's nothing but a manipulative cow.

 

[Larkspur]

All hell will break loose if my mum has her and mil doesn't.
Oh agrees that she needs talking to, but says we should still let her babysit as we told her she could.

It really, really sucks, but this exact situation is why she's 'winning' and you guys are 'losing'. You're more scared of her drama than of the danger she represents to your child.

I could be wrong, but I'd bet that if you don't put your foot down now and say "NO MORE until you start respecting us", when you do try to talk to her, she'll be like, "Well you let me have her when you wanted to go out for your birthday, didn't you? You weren't too concerned about your daughter when you had something you wanted to do, were you?"

 

[felix555]

I think given she thought nothing of it and said she would do it again, I would never leave my LO with her if I was you. Not for the sake of a night out especially.

I think just carrying on like nothing happened will make her think that it was OK to give your LO what was essentially a medication overdose that could have gone very wrong.

 

[Mrsmac02]

Glad you LO is feeling better, must have been scary. I am inclined to agree with pps - she's not going to listen unless you put your foot down. I personally would let her kick off all she wants re your birthday, she's proven she's not responsible or reasonable enough to take care if your LO properly so of she were mine, she wouldn't be getting her mitts on my kid until she proved different.

Its a tough situation but I think you and DH need to put on a united front and say no xx

 

[PrincessJJ]

I think given she thought nothing of it and said she would do it again, I would never leave my LO with her if I was you. Not for the sake of a night out especially.

I think just carrying on like nothing happened will make her think that it was OK to give your LO what was essentially a medication overdose that could have gone very wrong.

Me going out wasn't an issue anyway as I'd rather not leave her in general. I hate leaving her anywhere.
It's him not wanting to upset her. It's a really tough situation. But my baby comes first despite her drama. I would rather she didn't have any contact with her I'm that fed up with her behaviour.

 

[_jellybean_]

Yeahh....I agree with Lardspur on this one. I really think you need to put your foot down. No way would I leave my kids with her if she didn't give a crap about medicine doses

 

[special_kala]

Yeahh....I agree with Lardspur on this one. I really think you need to put your foot down. No way would I leave my kids with her if she didn't give a crap about medicine doses

 

[sue_88]

Have you decided on how you and Hubbie will deal with your mil?

I agree with the pp who said don't leave your children alone with her, personally I would let her know that she can only have supervised time with the children now until she has proven herself responsible enough to look after them properly. Simple as that. Good luck!

Not really decided. I'm dreading the morning as I will see her on the school run. She's forever asking to have LO on her own, but if that's the type of thing she does with me there god only knows what she might do on her own stuck in a really difficult position as it's my birthday this week and we had agreed she could babysit for a few hours whilst we went for a meal & then my mum have her for a while over the weekend. All hell will break loose if my mum has her and mil doesn't.
Oh agrees that she needs talking to, but says we should still let her babysit as we told her she could. I don't know what to do. So hard having atmosphere when I have to see her everyday at the school and cus she lives so close xxx

Hun you told her she could before she did what she did, you can't trust her someone who'll happily give a baby an overdose is a liability. Your daughter comes over your relationship with your MIL (which I know you know.)

Please don't let her guilt trip you. I am pleased your LO is feeling better, could you maybe get her checked over by your GP tomorrow for your peace of mind?

 

[alicecooper]

Dh and I once accidentally overdosed our 6 year old (5 at the time) with Calpol. He was poorly and I gave him some, and then hubby gave him some about half an hour later, not realising that he'd already had some.

I rang NHS direct and they asked his weight and height and said he'd be fine, and he was.

But obviously that was an accident, not done intentionally. I can't believe your MIL stands by her decision to give your baby such a high dosage of medicine. Frankly that's absolutely shocking. I mean, my MIL undermines me all the time and gives the kids sweets and chocolates when I've said they're not to have any, but I'll let her off with that, she thinks she's being a "kind doting nana". Even she has her limits. She'd not give a child medicine without being instructed to by me or DH.

What your MIL is SO SO not on it's just ridiculous. There's no way I'd let somebody who did that babysit any more.