Upset...Feeling really low

[Sweetie]

I really have no idea where to turn. I am feeling really upset with how Brooklynn's birth turned out. I keep thinking that I should just be happy that she is here and healthy but I just can't let go. I can't stop beating myself up about it all. I don't know where to start, I keep trying to sit down and write out what happened but I just can't! I feel like I lost such an important part of the birth and everything when I didn't get to see her for so long after she was born and then having to put her in the nursery overnight again so I could go back into surgery. I feel like we just didn't bond like we should have. I worry that it's going to have lasting effects. Then to top it all off I am so scared of something happening to her that I am starting to be scared of bonding with her. I just spend the days going in circles. She is crazy colicky too, all day. I actually looked at her the other day and couldn't pick her up. I just couldn't handle knowing that there was nothing that I could do. OH was home fortunately and took her for a bit but when he goes back to work full time I don't know what I am going to do.

 

[xarlenex]

I just wanted to give some advice for colic, wrap her up and put her out in the pram/buggy, see if it works. It worked for Kyle, he would just fall straight asleep and sleep through most of what would be his colic time. Hope you feel better soon x

 

[KarenLV]

You will need to let go of your disappointment. There is nothing you can do about it and beating yourself up over it is not going to help. Is your baby crying continuously for longer than 4 hours? That is what colic is...If she is just crying now and then it means she wants to be cuddled and held and be secure in her mommy's arms.Remember you are still very hormonal.It takes a while to feel better and stronger.To be honest I have only started feeling emotionaly strong now and I gave birth normally.For you it might take longer. Dont worry,everything is going to be okay.

 

[Mamafy]

 

[Jenny]

Oh Sarah, I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I know the feeling you're talking about, I had it with Drake. I felt very cheated at not being able to have him with me all the time and especially the first night in the hospital, the girl beside me had her baby and I felt so jealous because my baby was in the NICU. Like Karen said, you're going to have to let go of the disappointment, easier said than done I know. But if you ever need to talk to someone, I'm just a PM away.

For the colic, try to swaddle her and slip her into her swing if you have one. That might help a bit or gripe water.

Also, wanted to say congrats on your little girl hon.

 

[Sweetie]

I got a 20 minute break from the crying yesterday. Other than that, she just cries except when she is being fed. I will try the swaddling and stroller though, should I be walking her in it or just trying to let her lay in it? Jenny that sounds like what happened with Brooklynn she was up in NICU and they wouldn't take me to see her they kept telling me it would just be 15 more minutes. I fought with them from midnight till about 10 am when Sean got back to the hospital and he went and found a wheelchair to take me up to see her. I got up there at 11:30 and then had 5 minutes before they called me away to tell me that I had to go for testing because they thought they may have done some damage the night before!

 

[LaDY]

Hun...it will get better...all these experiences make you stronger...in time you will feel better......also have you considered using infacol for colic?? It does ork wonders...xx

 

[BlackBerry25]

Sorry, I don't really know what to say, as I haven't ever had a baby or experienced what you have experienced. I know it is a fear of mine. I do agree with Karen though, it will probably take some time for everything to sink in and for you to get into a routine with Brooklynn, and for your hormones to go back to normal.

You are out on a farm right? I think you need to go out for a breather, like for a walk or something, even for 5 minutes whenever Sean is around and don't feel bad about it!

I don't know.

Maybe if you call the Healthlink number they could suggest someone for you to talk to? That's probably what I would do.

 

[Samantha675]

Hun, I know how you feel, and you are not alone in being terribly disappointed by your birth experience. I find it hard when people say 'oh the most important thing is your baby is safe' because of course there is no doubt about that, but I always makes me feel like my experience was not important. I set out to have a home birth, and ended up transfering to hospital and an emergency c-section. It was the complete opposite of the birth I wanted, 11 weeks later, I still go round and round in my head about it. What could I have done differently to have stayed at home. I know there is nothing I could have done, something in my body was going wrong, and I had to have medical help. Once your hormones calm down, and you have had a bit of time to process your experience, you will begin to feel better about it.

check out this website for some help is calming your little girl. We find the SHH and swing method really works when our little guy is fussy.

https://www.thehappiestbaby.com/

https://www.thehappiestbaby.com/colic.html

 

[Newt]

 

[tinytoes]

oh forget the birth - you grew a whole baby! Thats amazing.

The first months are the times to bond. Look at babies who are adopted - they still bond with their parents. Go for walks and get lots of fresh air. It helps.

Give yourself a break. Colicky babies are hard. Speak to the doc. Are you adapting your diet? Could be something in it irritating her if you're breat feeding (I?m currently cutting out soooo many things in the hope of helping my LO)

 

[1st_baby]

I know just how you feel hun ! I wnated to ahve the most natural birth ever and get to hold my LO right away but that got changed when he didnt turn ..I had a c-section and granted all was ok with me and him I still to this day feel like I missed out on allot ..But its not our fault and god has blessed us with beautiful babies no matter which way to came to us !

 

[Newt]

I just found my birth plan ( the one I wasnt gonna write) on my old comp that I just set up for uni work. OH and I were laughing so much at it.
The only thing that appened to plan was.....I had a baby

 

[Sweetie]

Thank you everyone. Knowing that I have some support here is great. I'm working on trying to help her colic and trying to work through a lot of what happened and deal with the stress. I'm going to be looking at finding someone to talk to