Urgent Help-Ob says I have a failed pregnancy

[luckygurl]

Hi,

I am 42 years old and on April23 I did a home test and found I was 5-6 weeks pregnant. Went to the OB and she did a test and confirmed and then did a scan and found nothing and said it is too early.

Went on May9-supposed to me my week 7 and she did a scan and showed a sac with foetal pole showing 5 weeks. She said the shape of the sac is good and could be I ovulated late. She also saw another round dark thing(she susptected bicornuate uterus but I said no ways as I have had 20 ultrasounds done earlier to my pregnancy and it was a retroverted uterus only. I even asked her if it could be another sac or a fibroid). She said we will leave it for now. She never did any blood test.

She asked me to come for a scan 2 weeks later which was this Friday (week 8 as per me). I went all excited expecting to see a heartbeat and she gave me the shock saying it is a failed pregnancy.

She said there is a irregular sac now and it is blurring. This sac is still showing 5 weeks which means it is not growing. The second sac was more clear and was close to it and was empty. She said it does not look like I have a bicornuate uterus.

I am given 3 options

Option1 - wait and have a natural period to flush everything out -risk is infection could develop during the wait period.

Option2 : take meds and within 4 hrs everything comes out. Risk is something left and I need a D&C

Option 3: D&C which in worst case could impact the uterus.

I said I wanted to go for Option 1 and 2 after taking a second opinion/scan.

Can you ladies please help in the option to choose. Is there a big risk in waiting for the natural period.

I am so upset and then the tension of deciding on an option. Did anyone face a similar scan situation like mine?

 

[momwithbabies]

I had an interstitial pregnancy that resulted in a miscarriage at 10 weeks. I've been told my uterus is heart-shaped, but I have two previous children. I had no option, as this type of ectopic is the most dangerous. I had a D&C immediately with endoscopic surgery to make sure all of the baby and tissue were gone.

I'm not sure how high the risk for the D&C for your uterus, but I also have heard of many women having to go ahead and have the D&C after trying the medicine or natural. I would be extremely nervous to try option 1, personally. But go with your gut. I know your mind is focused on your loss and protecting your uterus, and I hope that you are able to make the best decision possible - when there are really no good options.

I know that didn't help much and I'm sorry. Nothing prepares you for this.

 

[luckygurl]

Thank you for your reply momwithbabies. It was nice of you to let me know what you did.

Since this is my first and am in total shock I really do not know what I am doing. This morning I started getting cramps and lower back pain. I was hoping clearblue stick would show not pregnant so I am sure that my hcg levels are low and may be getting my periods. But thats not the case. It still shows 2-3 weeks and this is my week 8.

I have a meeting for a second opinion today and will see what this Ob recommends as an option.

 

[bcos21]

I'm sorry for your loss. I had a mmc at 8 weeks, got a d&c two days later. I don't think it's common for it to damage the uterus. I fell pregnant the next cycle and am almost 18 weeks. Good luck with whatever you decide, give yourself time to feel and heal. Much love to you.

 

[lakotachris]

Very very sorry for your loss. The chose is a very personal one. I recently opted for a fast D&C. I just wanted it over. With natural miscarriage it is a waiting game. Some women will miscarry quickly and others will not pass the pregnancy for many weeks. If you opt for the pill I would give you fair warning many many women also experience a LOT of nausea, vomiting and diahhrea as side effects, not all but it is quite common. '

I hope you get answers and are able to make the best choice for yourself and very very sorry again.

 

[luckygurl]

Thank you Ladies for all your kind words and help.

Looks like D&C is the choice of all women and I will look into that option now.

 

[loeylo]

I have had two natural miscarriages and I refused a D&C for an ectopic. A natural mc isn't nice but you at least are leaving your options open to more interventions if things don't work out. I never got an infection either time and I took quite a long time with my second.

 

[c beary83]

I found out I had miscarried at my 12 week scan. Baby had no hb and was measuring 9/10 weeks

I didn't like the idea of surgery so waited a few days to see if it would happen naturally then took tablets to being it on.

For me it was a complete miscarriage and was about 8 hours of very heavy (gushes) bleeding before passing baby. After that it was a couple of weeks of period type bleeding.

It is a very personal choice so go with what you feel most comfortable about (if any).

It is a horrible thing for anyone to go through

 

[lesondemavie]

I opted for the medication that evening. I was told that the NMC could be very painful, and I didn't want that to catch me off guard at work. I also could tell that my husband's nerves couldn't handle just waiting and worrying. I did have to go through the experience of meeting my little baby in the folds of the tissue paper three days later. A D&C would have saved me from that, but really it brought me closure. I think I made the right choice for me. Whatever you do, this is such a heartbreaking thing to go through. Take care xxx.

 

[luckygurl]

lesondemavie,

Thank you for sharing.

What medicine did you take? Did it take 3 days to clear and was there heavy cramping?

 

[luckygurl]

loeylo,

Thank you for sharing. At which week did you find out and how many weeks did you have to wait naturally?

 

[lesondemavie]

I took misoprostol. I took it along with Norco, so I really didn't feel a thing. I had really awful cramps/pain 4.5 hours later (when the norco wore off...I should have taken a second one after 4 hours). I took another Norco then but threw up shortly after. DH brought me tea and I held the warm cup on my tummy until what Norco made it into my system kicked in. In all maybe 30-45 minutes. After that, I was fine (and I could have avoided it). I started bleeding 11 hours after taking miso with what felt like a gush in the toilet. I took a second dose of miso just in case but nothing more really happened. There was no more pain and no need for Norco after that first night. I passed the baby and umbilical cord 3 and 4 days later. I bled for a week and spotted for a week. My bleeding wasn't very heavy. Barely touched the pad, but always lots of blood in the toilet water. The day my spotting stopped, I had an ultrasound and everything had cleared. My hpt went negative and I O'd shortly after the very next week. A week after that I was on to my next cycle. My cramps were worse the first two cycles since, but now I'm fine. All the best to you whatever you decide xxx.

 

[lesondemavie]

Oh I was 8 weeks when I took miso and the baby had passed just before 7 weeks.

 

[loeylo]

The first time the baby died around 6 weeks and passed at 8, second time baby died at 8.5 weeks and passed at 10 weeks (we found out at 9.5 weeks so wasn't a long wait tbh)

 

[luckygurl]

Thank you lesondemavie for the details. I also found out in week8 last week and this is week9 for me. My baby stopped at 5 weeks. I am visiting the Ob today to discuss the options in detail, though I hate going there again.

 

[luckygurl]

loeylo,

Thank you for sharing the details. It must be heartbreaking for you but glad it all went natural. I am already 9 weeks so I am scared to wait any longer.

Prayers for you to have a healthy baby soon.

 

[luckygurl]

and lesondemavie , Prayers for you and all other ladies waiting to have a healthy baby soon.

I am so glad to have this support. With the Ob, it is such a mechanical process rather than an emotional journey

 

[lesondemavie]

I dreaded going back for my ultrasound after to check that all had cleared. I brought DH with me and closed my eyes. I couldn't stand to see emptiness where my baby had once been. It wasn't as bad as I imagined, but it was hard. When I was in the room waiting for the ob, I heard a big "congratulations" for someone else in the hall and I couldn't help but wish to switch places. The ob has been pretty dismissive and not very supportive at all. It stinks, but I'm being my own advocate. I have a short LP and knew deep down that my progesterone was low. I brought it up back when I had my MMC, but she brushed me off. I wrote back and pushed to have my progesterone tested this last cycle, and sure enough it is low. I'm going on Prometrium after O this next cycle and hoping that's all it will take for me to get my first little baby love. Life goes on, but it feels like everything happy in my life isn't really all that happy. I even feel a bit numb at times. I don't think I'll feel that true happiness again until I'm holding my baby in my arms.

 

[luckygurl]

Don't be so sad . Am sure God has better things planned for you and you will have a healthy baby soon .

 

[luckygurl]

Ladies an update

Took misoprostol Friday and passed out many clots that night . Don't know which one was the baby . Have been bleeding and on pain killers since . Today the OB did a scan and my uterus was empty so hopefully this is the end of this journey . Thank you for your support and comments it really helped me decide . Left it in gods hands now to have a baby in future . Good luck to all you lovely women