Using a known by name in school for child? Anyone done this?

[_mummy_]

Hi everyone
I'm new here and looking for a bit of advice about using a unofficial surname at school for my child.

Bit of background:
My child is 9 and me and her dad split up when she was a baby, she sees him (reluctantly) 4/5x a year. She currently has my maiden name, but I'm getting married in December, and I'd like to change it to my new surname...I know my ex would never agree, and he has PR so I cannot do it officially.

So I'd like to ask school and doctors to use a known by name. Does anyone else do this? Will the school/doctors agree to this or are they very strict regarding this sort of thing?

My child is really upset about being the odd one out(have two smaller children with hubby to be and would mean my child being the odd one out surname wise)
Any advice greatly appreciated

 

[Jaysmummy]

Tbh I don't think you'd b able to as you have to show birth certificates etc but there's no harm in asking.

My eldest has a different surname but its never bothered her, she doesn't see her dad at all and I wish I could change it

Xx

 

[stephx]

I used a 'known by' name for my whole childhood (doctors, schools, bank the lot) The only problem I had was going on trips abroad with school obviously names didn't tie up to passports and once I reached 18 jobs and bank accounts had to go in my 'real' name so all my school friends know me by one name and everyone else by the other. It's kinda confusing!

 

[amytrisha]

All the way through school (primary & secondary) my last name was my 'step-dads' last name.. But my 'biological dad' was never involved.

If you speak to the school about it and make sure they use your LOs real last name for exams and other documents they should go for it but I think the only problem is if your LOs real dad is involved then I don't think they'll do it if he strongly objects.

Good luck xo

 

[LoolaBear]

I used a 'known by' name for my whole childhood (doctors, schools, bank the lot) The only problem I had was going on trips abroad with school obviously names didn't tie up to passports and once I reached 18 jobs and bank accounts had to go in my 'real' name so all my school friends know me by one name and everyone else by the other. It's kinda confusing!

but then as you were 18 you could have then legally changed your name by deed poll.

I know someone who's daughter is under a 'known by' name. it can be quite simple. all legal paper work has to be in LO's official name but you just inform them (school/doctors etc) that she isn't known by the name on BC and is known by -insert name here- they will then have recors of both names.

then if she wishes when she turns 18 she can legally change her name to her known by name if she wishes to do so.

 

[Kate&Lucas]

My sister was brought up through school/doctors etc with my Dad's surname, though her name is officially my Mum's maiden name. The only problem she had was when she started work, so she just started going by her real surname.
Infact I believe her partner was the same, brought up with a different surname, but he changed his by deed poll when he was old enough.

 

[Lucasmum]

Me and my brother used my stepdads name all through school and doctors, it was only on passports we had a real surname never was an issue but this was back in the day of the dinosaur so it may not be as simple these days

 

[Lauraxamy]

My friends Mum was in exactly the same situation as you with my friend. She gave my friend her step dads surname in school and stuff, even on Facebook now she's still got his surname lol but legally and on her driving license and stuff she's got her biological Dads surname.

 

[smokey]

I thought you could gi by any name you chose to on a daily basis as long as official things like passports and such where in your real name.
So many forms for things like dr, schools, applications have a section for known by name these days i think its pretty common.

 

[suzib76]

I was known by my stepdads name, I had a passport provisional license using that name as well - that was 20 years ago almost i got the provisional and would be about 19 for the passport, so it prob different now but I never had any problems until I was trying to sort out the documents to marry my first husband, I couldn't prove a thing!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

My son has his known as name at school. Its on register etc and its what they call him x

 

[C_baby]

I too had a know by name and changed it legally as an adult. It was fine for me, my stepdad even opened my bank account for me in my know by name years before it was legally my name! Haha how times change!

 

[Mummy Bean]

Again my sister used a known by name for school/doctors/everyday. but she did have to keep her offical name for passport and bank details. but she just got it changed when she was 18...was quite sime and not too expensive.

 

[bump_wanted]

When ollie starts school he will need to use a known by name as he is officially Oliver but he's never been called that I wouldn't imagine it was that complicated xx