Vent - Anyone just angry for taking longer?

[AlwaysTheAunt]

Hi ladies! Just having one of those days where I'm just so darn mad at the universe? Or my body that its taking so much longer than my first to get pregnant. I'm 9dpo so no symptoms or lines expected by now but i just feel like its not our month and every month i just get angrier and angrier that its taking longer. (My daughter was conceived the first month and this is cycle 10 ttc #2).

I think if we do hit 12 months i will see a gp and see if i can rule anything out. I wonder if just giving birth/tearing can impact ttc for a second?

Just needed a vent, so if anyone else also just needs a vent to get it out. This is the thread for you!

 

[sweetchut]

Right there with you. We’ve been NTNP since 2018. We really buckled down and started trying in 2019. It’s been a long road. We’re now in fertility treatment. I’ve never even been pregnant so I have no idea if I can even get pregnant. All my labs are fine and the doctors are confident but… I just feel lost with it all. I’m 36 so technically “geriatric” in the fertility world.

AND my best friend started trying in August 2020, got pregnant in October 2020, and now has a one month old baby girl. She can be a little oblivious too. One time she said, “just have sex for like a week straight and it will happen!” I know she meant well but I wanted to reply back with, “yeah, for YOU it will. We’ve been trying for THREE YEARS.” And trust me, the sex is NOT the problem. We have plenty of that. Even with fertility meds we’re struggling.

Ugh. I had some friends recently say that it must be so hard to visit my best friend and see the baby but honestly it’s not and I never even thought about it that way. I’ve known her for 33 years! I’m so happy and I want all the photos and videos and FaceTime calls!! It’s like she’s my baby too! But I understand how it could make some women feel awful… just didn’t happen that way for me.

Thank you for carving out a little venting space! This did make me feel better.

 

[AlwaysTheAunt]

@sweetchut im so glad a vent helped a bit. I felt better too afterwards! Im sorry your journey has been so long with no answers as to why.

I get told to just relax by a few people I've actually told. One gets pregnant straight away. So shes not very helpful and always just goes well im no help he just looks at me and i get pregnant. (Her first baby was an accident). So i try to avoid all ttc conversations with her now.

Its hard when people don't understand! (I dont understand your much longer journey or the fertility treatment world). But i will offer as much support as i can

 

[sweetchut]

@sweetchut im so glad a vent helped a bit. I felt better too afterwards! Im sorry your journey has been so long with no answers as to why.

I get told to just relax by a few people I've actually told. One gets pregnant straight away. So shes not very helpful and always just goes well im no help he just looks at me and i get pregnant. (Her first baby was an accident). So i try to avoid all ttc conversations with her now.

Its hard when people don't understand! (I dont understand your much longer journey or the fertility treatment world). But i will offer as much support as i can

Yeah, that “just relax” crap is for the birds. I told my doctor once that I thought the reason I didn’t conceive that month was because I was so stressed and he assured me it likely wasn’t the stress. So at least that is one less thing I need to feel guilty about.

I hope you get some answers from a gp. I’m fairly confident in saying giving birth/tearing wouldn’t have much to do with the trouble you’re experiencing now. We actually have dual issues. My partner’s sperm has motility and morphology issues (but he has a super high count—they’re just almost all wonky sperm lol). And I barely ovulate. I also have polycystic ovaries, which come to find out, is different than PCOS. I guess that means i just have more follicles than normal and all my follicles are competing for the FSH hormone so it gets spread out over more follicles and that makes it harder for a front runner to come through and actually ovulate… Who knew! So many things to learn. Our bodies are amazing.

My point being it could be something super minor and you may get some good answers. And who knows, maybe it will finally happen for you when you go talk to your doctor without even doing anything.

A friend of ours was in fertility treatment for over a year, tried meds, did IUIs, and was getting ready for egg harvesting for IVF and they got pregnant on their own!

So who freakin’ knows.

 

[AlwaysTheAunt]

Oh gosh wow. I didnt even know that was a thing/existed (the ovaries and competing for the hormone). It really sucks that there is 2 factors involved for you too.

Im glad the gp said stress thing could be crap! I feel mine is linked with the severe lack of sleep we've been getting with my 2yo not sleeping. Shes finally started the last few weeks though so im hopeful that will continue and help.

 

[Sianylw]

Me too I have pcos and rarely ovulate by myself… I’m ttc my second my first is 10 now. I struggled with ttc him too….

this time around though I’m needing to take far more meds etc. On my fourth medicated cycle 3 clomid one letrozole. Ovulated each cycle but not much luck! All I’ve got to show for it so far is a dwindling bank balance, crazy mood swings and a chemical pregnancy last cycle.

I get really angry and frustrated, my moods are awful. It’s not a pleasant experience at all with fertility issues!

oh and I’m 37 almost 38 so I’m pretty much panicking that I’m passed it too!

hope you both get your bfps soon ladies xx