Venting...(FOB)

Discussion in 'Teenage Parenting' started by MommyGrim, Jan 23, 2011.

  1. MommyGrim

    MommyGrim Well-Known Member

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    I've always imagined when I got pregnant I would have someone who loved me and would be excited with me through my entire pregnancy, birth, and our child's life but it didn't work out like that at all. Through my entire pregnancy I was alone and what little contact me and FOB had it was usually me trying to get him to come to one of my dr appt just to see her. (She had a heart arrhythmia so I had ultrasounds every week to make sure she was doing ok) but he always had an excuse. Then when my daughter was born, she had macconium aspiration and was born not breathing, which was incredibly tramatic and even now almost 5 months later I'm still stressing out about her and her breathing. He didn't seem at all effected by the fact that she was close to dying and it's so frustrating! The first time he saw her he stayed for like four hours and I thought he was going to be a great dad but I was SO wrong. He hardly ever see's her partly because (I think) he doesn't care that much and partly because of his girlfriend. Of whom, when he comes to see Avalon, he takes with him, like it's partly her kid too. I used to not have any problem with her but she actually stops him from spending time with Avalon and basically won't let him come and see her if she isn't there. He was down for a whole month from college for Christmas and he saw Avalon like MAYBE 3 days, and that's only for an hour at a time, with the exception of the Mondays and Fridays where he saw her for like 4 hours because that's when his mom gets to spend time with her. He makes it seem like she's such a hassle. It breaks my heart that he doesn't want to spend time with his own daughter. :nope:

    I don't know what to do about him; he can't keep being a half-ass dad because if he keeps doing that then Avalon could develope some serious emotional issues because 'her daddy doesn't love her' and I know that's a while down the road but if he doesn't want to be with her now, why would he when she's even harder to take care of? I love my little girl more than anything and I don't know what to do....:nope:


    P.S. I haven't been on in forever! It feels good to finally be back! =]:hugs:
     
  2. laura1991

    laura1991 Mummy to Lily

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    Its his loss! Shes got an amazing mummy who will always be in her life! Maybe you should tell him he needs to make more set, regular times because as she gets older she might start making strange! Dont let him upset you! your doing an amazing job and she will grow upp to be a lovely happy little girl with your love!
     
  3. annawrigley

    annawrigley Guest

    Awww hun! Feel free to pop into the STM thread anytime :hugs: He sounds like a dick, it must be really upsetting for him to not make an effort :( And i know what you mean about he cant keep doing it cos it will let your little girl down, I feel the same... FOB is at uni and comes back maybe every couple of weeks - a month, i know thats not TOO bad but it seems like he's just dipping in and out of his life when he pleases and Noah will be 4 by the time he finishes and I'm dreading the "Where's my daddy?" questions :nope: Actually dont even know what I'm gonna do!!

    Your little girl is beautiful :flower: xxxx
     
  4. MommyGrim

    MommyGrim Well-Known Member

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    Aww, thanks you guys! :hugs:

    And that's exactly how I feel! "Where's daddy?" is probably going to be the hardest question I'll have to answer and I breaks my heart to have to even think about answering it.
     
  5. Hotbump

    Hotbump SAHM, student, & wife :)

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    listen to anna she always has good advice even if im too stubborn to listen lol. Stay strong for your baby :hugs:
     
  6. x__amour

    x__amour Mommy.

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    Aw, hon. It must be so hard but you are so strong, just know that. He is missing out and it's his fault. You have such a beautiful daughter. :hugs:
     
  7. MommyGrim

    MommyGrim Well-Known Member

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    :hugs: Thanks! I just wish I could completely replace him with an amazing guy so she doesn't have to go through all that crap.
     
  8. newmommy23

    newmommy23 Mommy to Mollymaia

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    I'm sorry your FOB is a douche lol. He doesn't deserve your daughter. If it makes you feel better my dad split when I was about her age, and I NEVER asked about him. Even when he did come back around when I was 10 lol. My mom was all I ever needed.
     
  9. MommyGrim

    MommyGrim Well-Known Member

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    =] :hugs: Thanks! And I hope that's how me and Avalon are.
     

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