Very upset.

[amandad192]

Liam's first christmas this year

I offered/asked to spend a few nights at my mum's so she could see her grandson's first christmas. The only first christmas he will ever have!!
She told me last night I can't come because they're going on holiday
A holiday is more impportant to her than her grandson

I can't go to OH's parents because I'm not talking to his sister and don't want an arguement to kick off and ruin christmas for his parents.

So it looks like I'm spending the day with my dad

My mum won't be happy as spending the day with my Dad means spending the day with his GF..who my mum used to be best friends with years ago and now hates her. But it was her choice so screw her!

Why would my mum choose not to see Liam's FIRST christmas

She best not think she's going to get to see his 1st birthday then. I already have plans for him to be seeing OH's mum and dad considering they won't see him xmas day.

 

[Lucy_lu_84]

I don't think a holiday is more important to her than her grandson. In reality lo's r to young to understand a first Xmas anyway. I'd not he upset if mine wanted to go away... The way I see it is they did Xmas to suit the family while we were all home now we've left they have their own life.

Do u not like the idea of spending Xmas at home with lo? We didn't go anywhere last year.

Can understad your upset, just wanted to throw in my view :/)

 

[Tegans Mama]

Hmmm I have a different opinion on this, and its one I've repeated on this forum a billion times...

Just because YOUR life revolves around your LO, everything you do, you do it for them, they're your everything etc etc, doesn't mean the same applies for your family and other people around you. You have a baby, and your world stops and becomes all about your baby. The same doesn't apply for your parents - yes, they now have a grandchild to think about but he is an addition to their life, not their actual life if that makes sense. They shouldn't be living their lives to keep you happy; they've bought their children up, now its their time to enjoy it without children!
Babies first Christmas' are unfortunately not all they're cracked up to be imo. I enjoyed Tegan's first Christmas (she was 4 months old) but she didn't know it was Christmas.. she wasn't aware of what was happening. I am more excited for this year, she'll be two and a half and aware of her surroundings etc.

 

[amandad192]

My two young sisters are 14 and 9, so this isn't my mum and step-dad choosing to spend a xmas just themselves.
I have I have a feeling my older sister may be going with her daughter too and my mum hasn't even suggest that I go.

Liam won't know it's christmas but he'll be 11 months so with a little assistants and loose wrapping he'll be able to open his own presents.

I just feel very let down.

I'd be happy spending christmas at home just me, OH and Liam, but I want him to have more family around him so it's not just like any other day.

Christmas has always been a big deal in my mum's side of my family. The day started extra early. We'd have family round or go and visit family. We'd all sit around the table for dinner (which on a normal day didn't happen.) with christmas crackers etc.

I know Liam won't remember it, but I wanted him to have that whole experience.

Last xmas me and OH went to MIL's, I was pregnant and already knew I wanted my baby's 1st christmas to be at my mum's house. I was really looking forward to it and she knew that.

My step-dad also has another daughter who isn't even 2 yet (Him and my my mum split up for a while) so this isn't them living their own lives after their kids have all grown up.

 

[katy1310]

I can totally understand how you feel - I'd be the same. I can see what other people are saying about how he's your baby and your life revolves around him more than other people's lives revolve around him etc etc but your mum is his granny - and your mum - and you want her to be excited about his special day and to share it with you and him. I totally want my parents to share Sophie's first Christmas, even though she will only be 9 months actual, 6 months corrected (she was 13 weeks premature). As you say, a first Christmas only happens once. It's a really special day with a new baby in the family and he'll be at the age where he is interested in things. A baby brings so much joy into a family and Christmas is a day for everyone to be together.

 

[Cheryl xx]

I understand where your coming from. If your mum has made plans it's her who will be missing out xx

 

[special_kala]

Hmmm I have a different opinion on this, and its one I've repeated on this forum a billion times...

Just because YOUR life revolves around your LO, everything you do, you do it for them, they're your everything etc etc, doesn't mean the same applies for your family and other people around you. You have a baby, and your world stops and becomes all about your baby. The same doesn't apply for your parents - yes, they now have a grandchild to think about but he is an addition to their life, not their actual life if that makes sense. They shouldn't be living their lives to keep you happy; they've bought their children up, now its their time to enjoy it without children!
Babies first Christmas' are unfortunately not all they're cracked up to be imo. I enjoyed Tegan's first Christmas (she was 4 months old) but she didn't know it was Christmas.. she wasn't aware of what was happening. I am more excited for this year, she'll be two and a half and aware of her surroundings etc.

I agree.

 

[hayley x]

If my mum went away at xmas thats her choice and at the end of the day it would be her missing out. I wouldnt need her there to make xmas special, we are our own little family and tbh we have so many people wanting to see Daisy's first christmas its a headache, I just want a lovely relaxed happy day spending time with her brother in the morning, and doing our own thing, but now we have to rush around keeping everyone else happy, which I'm not too bothered about I just like to moan

she will probably ring you xmas day and she can see all the photos xxx

 

[Tegans Mama]

My two young sisters are 14 and 9, so this isn't my mum and step-dad choosing to spend a xmas just themselves.
I have I have a feeling my older sister may be going with her daughter too and my mum hasn't even suggest that I go.

Liam won't know it's christmas but he'll be 11 months so with a little assistants and loose wrapping he'll be able to open his own presents.

I just feel very let down.

I'd be happy spending christmas at home just me, OH and Liam, but I want him to have more family around him so it's not just like any other day.

Christmas has always been a big deal in my mum's side of my family. The day started extra early. We'd have family round or go and visit family. We'd all sit around the table for dinner (which on a normal day didn't happen.) with christmas crackers etc.

I know Liam won't remember it, but I wanted him to have that whole experience.

Last xmas me and OH went to MIL's, I was pregnant and already knew I wanted my baby's 1st christmas to be at my mum's house. I was really looking forward to it and she knew that.

My step-dad also has another daughter who isn't even 2 yet (Him and my my mum split up for a while) so this isn't them living their own lives after their kids have all grown up.

Exactly, the fact they have kids still at home just reaffirms my statement, they have their own lives and shouldn't have to live them around what you want. It doesn't matter whether their kids have grown up, your son is YOUR son and not theirs, you are responsible for making his day fantastic not your parents You chose to have a baby, not them, why should they take responsibility? They are doing things for their children who are still at home, which is what you should be doing. have you asked your Mum if you can go with them? Does your older sister live at home with your parents? Is she a single parent? Maybe your Mum thinks your OH won't let you/want you to go with them.

Yes you may feel let down but things like this happen, like I said you really can't expect people to drop their own plans to meet yours, unfortunately.

 

[special_kala]

Im the oppsoite. River will only have one first christmas (well her second but she was 2 months old so she didnt didnt know the difference) so i want it to be just our little family.

My parents and inlaws had their first christmas's with their kids and im having Rivers with me

 

[amandad192]

My two young sisters are 14 and 9, so this isn't my mum and step-dad choosing to spend a xmas just themselves.
I have I have a feeling my older sister may be going with her daughter too and my mum hasn't even suggest that I go.

Liam won't know it's christmas but he'll be 11 months so with a little assistants and loose wrapping he'll be able to open his own presents.

I just feel very let down.

I'd be happy spending christmas at home just me, OH and Liam, but I want him to have more family around him so it's not just like any other day.

Christmas has always been a big deal in my mum's side of my family. The day started extra early. We'd have family round or go and visit family. We'd all sit around the table for dinner (which on a normal day didn't happen.) with christmas crackers etc.

I know Liam won't remember it, but I wanted him to have that whole experience.

Last xmas me and OH went to MIL's, I was pregnant and already knew I wanted my baby's 1st christmas to be at my mum's house. I was really looking forward to it and she knew that.

My step-dad also has another daughter who isn't even 2 yet (Him and my my mum split up for a while) so this isn't them living their own lives after their kids have all grown up.

Exactly, the fact they have kids still at home just reaffirms my statement, they have their own lives and shouldn't have to live them around what you want. It doesn't matter whether their kids have grown up, your son is YOUR son and not theirs, you are responsible for making his day fantastic not your parents You chose to have a baby, not them, why should they take responsibility? They are doing things for their children who are still at home, which is what you should be doing. have you asked your Mum if you can go with them? Does your older sister live at home with your parents? Is she a single parent? Maybe your Mum thinks your OH won't let you/want you to go with them.

Yes you may feel let down but things like this happen, like I said you really can't expect people to drop their own plans to meet yours, unfortunately.

Woaaah, hang on, I do take responsibilty for my son. What has christmas day got to do with taking responsibilty? My older sister has her own home with her partner. My mum knows my OH will be more than happy to go with them.
I make EVERY DAY fantastic for my Son, I wanted this one day of the year to be extra special for him with lots of family around him...what's so wrong with that?

Looks like it will be just me Liam and OH spending the day together at home. Which will be a fantastic day, but not what was ORIGANALY PLANNED. (Yes it was planned with my mum that we was going to be going there.)

 

[Lucy_lu_84]

Im the oppsoite. River will only have one first christmas (well her second but she was 2 months old so she didnt didnt know the difference) so i want it to be just our little family.

My parents and inlaws had their first christmas's with their kids and im having Rivers with me

I agree. My parents were more than happy to have us over last Christmas but we said we wanted it to b the 4 of us, start our own family Christmases. Baby will be 5 weeks ish this Xmas and Joshua 18 moths but again I don't want Togo anywhere. Will vist family other days ;-)

feel mean letting them open all presents then dragging them away to someone elses for dinner etc. Also couldn't imagine waking u at someone elses house on cmas day

just try not to let this overshadow your Christmas. You, your lo and ohwill have just as fantastic a day the 3 of you less going on for lo yo get overwhelmed by to.

Xx

 

[hypnorm]

my in laws had their first christmas with the kids last year, Ewan is 4 and Robyn was 11 months. I don't think they have ever felt like they have missed out and i wouldnt have ever expected them to be there for the first christmas, they have other family to see too.
ok the distance is a huge factor as we are down south and they are in scotland.
Plans change, and if she has two step kids to consider then i can understad that her priority is to them to make christmas special.
I enjoy christmas more now with ewan as i can see him get stuck into presents.

To be honest christmas is such a small part in life there will be plenty of other special days too.

 

[DianeBrandt]

It's okay... don't get to down about it. I know it can be better to hear than to actually do. Have you told your mom how you feel about this situation? It's better to let it out rather to hold it in. Try it... she may change her plans if she finds out how much this will mean to you. However, if she doesn't simply count your blessing and move forward with your life.

 

[Blah11]

Your LO wont know the difference I think you're being a bit harsh on your mum.

 

[AnnabelsMummy]

i understand where you're coming from..
tbh i don't think for you it's just liam's first christmas, it's your first christmas having a son too..
and you just wanted it to be a family occasion?
i'd personally be upset if my mum wasn't there for annie's first christmas, my mum means alot to me and is just one person i'm really close to and would want there for my daughter's first christmas...

maybe try talking to your mum and explaining how you feel, you might be able to reach some kind of comprimise which makes all of you happy!!

i think it's unfair that people are saying things to you, you're allowed to be upset at not spending your chistmas with your mum, especially after looking forward to it, you just feel let down...
but you and your OH can make this christmas really special, and you never know, next year, you might have another little bubba's first christmas and liam will be showing him/her how to open their presants!!
xx