view on getting into a new relationship

[Mammy2Joojx]

just wanted everyones opinions on this, as i'm sure everyone has atleast thought about what would happen/what it would be like in a new relationship

my LO is 3 in june & i have had 2 relationships since LO was born up until now. my 1st was someone i had known for 3-4 years prior givinb birth & i was with him for 6-7 months when LO was 3 months old. my 2nd was when LO was around 17/18 months & i was then with an old schoolmate who i had known over 10 years. we were together around 5/6 months. both people met LO but never saw him regularly (both must of seen LO around 5 times throughout whole relationship)

1st boyfriend cheated on me with 4 different girls & the 2nd one got really possessive & clingy & came to my house drunk when i had LO so i nipped that in the bud quickly.

both times, LO's dad has moaned at me for having a boyfriend around LO, yet he has had 4 girlfriends since LO was born, sees LO once a week & is free to have his own life. now i would never ever introduce a fling to LO, but FOB cant expect me to never move on can he? eventually i am going to settle down & they will be around LO yet he cant accept it. i will never let LO call anyone else 'daddy' & FOB knows this, so i'm unsure why he is being like this. i have no problem with him having a steady girlfriend around (when he actually gets a real one & stops making girlfriends up but thats a whole new thread ) as i know he will move on, same as me.

sorry to ramble on & on but i just wondered what peoples opinions are on it all? how many relationships have you been in? how long would you wait till you introduced them to LO? xx

 

[teal]

I don't have any contact with FOB. I did meet someone when my son was 9 months old, I made it clear from the start that I wanted to take things slow but it became obvious that wasn't what he wanted. He would complain when I didn't drop everything to see him or speak to him. Once I realised he was never going to accept that my son comes first I got rid of him. Sounds harsh but my son will always come first and if someone can't understand that then they don't deserve to be in our lives. I only seen him for about 6 months so not long.

Felt nothing but relief once I was single again and I'm definitely in no rush xx

 

[Mammy2Joojx]

oh dont get me wrong, i am in no rush to be with someone, as i am much happier on my own than when i am when in a relationship but i just dont know how to even go about it when i am ready? suppose once i'm ready, i will know

every parent would put their LO first, well i should imagine so anyway, as thats our job so any boy what doesn't understand that isn't right for someone with a child so i would of done the same as you & got rid!

i think i actually need to be abit more laidback about it all though. i expect to meet the most perfect, well mannered boy & i know that wont happen haha xx

 

[teal]

Sometimes I think it's less effort being on my own

I think we'll just know when the right person comes along xx

 

[Mammy2Joojx]

i think if i got out abit more i wouldn't feel so lonely & my LO is being a commplete brat atm so i'm at my wits end my dad keeps saying he says a prayer for me to settle down & find a nice boy & i'm like 'do i really give off the impression that i'm that desperate' xx

 

[BadassMom]

Maybe you should just try to get out and have fun, go on some casual dates when LO is at FOB's, and not worry so much about relationships. If the right one comes along then great, and in the meantime have some fun!

 

[Mammy2Joojx]

i dont think i'd be braave enough to go on a date lol never been on 1 before! I think too negative about relationships now so i know i wont be in 1 for awhile x

 

[teal]

I'm also too negative when it comes to relationships, intentions, etc xx

 

[Laura2919]

I'd like to meet someone but I know its not the right time. I still want to make sure that I have settled the girls. Our split is pretty recent considering. We only seperated in September so they knew us together for a long time. He moved on and met someone straightaway, I am still adamant he met her when we were together although he denies this, but then he would.

I think you know when the time is right but I wouldn't want to confuse that with the feeling of being lonely and thinking you just want someone around. I have seen people but I haven't gotten into a relationship because the girls mean more to me than some man.