Waiting for af post d&c so I can begin ttc

[Dollybird]

Hey all. Guess I best give a wee bit back story first. Me and my hubby have been ttc no2. I previously had an ectopic pregnancy in 2012 which was treated with methotrexate. After a 3 month ttc break we conceived our son. I couldn't believe we conceived him so quickly as I have pcos, but I guess we where blessed. Anyways fast forward to June last year and I decided to come off my bc in prep for ttc. Last time it took me over a year to ovulate after coming off bc so I wanted to prepare. And rightly enough my cycles ranged anything from 23 days to 4 months initially, so even ntnp was fruitless. Officially started ttc in jan, bfn first cycle (34days), and bfp second cycle. I was overjoyed but something never truely sat right I guess, I never had any really preggo symptoms other than tender bbs, despite the fact id had major MS with my son. Anyways I naively thought that despite this everything would be fine. For some reason a stupid part of me believed that having had one loss would make me immune to another but I was wrong. At 9+5 I had the tiniest amount spotting and went for a scan, only to discover baby had passed at 8+3. Worst day of my life, absolute worst. For some reason it felt much worse than the ectopic. I guess cause I'd seen the HB just over a week before, and also cause this time round it looked like a baby - the ectopic never did. And I guess cause I was so blindsided by it too.. I thought I was almost out of the danger zone. Anyways it's been a tough week. Just had my d&c on Thursday after a week waiting for it. The procedure itself was ok. Staff at the hospital where so kind and patient with me, and never rushed me despite how busy they were. Im still going through the motions, one minute I think I'm ok, the next I'm crying my eyes out, but I'm feeling stronger each day. I won't go into all my daft thoughts, worries, and feelings, I'm sure you all are pretty well acquainted with those same feelings so I don't need to spell them out really.
Anyway, there's a part of me that's desperate to be preggo again. I feel guilty about that but really I can't help it. I'm stil grieving for my lost little one but it doesn't negate the fact that I want another child. And I guess part of me wants a pregnancy so that I don't hurt so much anymore. I'm terrified of it cause I know I'll be on tender hooks the whole time, but I still wanna risk it. So I've decided to wait for af then start trying. Hubby and I gonna go on a fertility diet and start preconceive tabs and garlic. I was debating royal jelly too as I hear that's good.
Wooah I seem to have written an essay. Thanks to anyone reading it, I just wanted to write it all down. Maybe there's some of you in the same boat who fancy buddying up with me. Xxx

 

[havefaith01]

Hey all. Guess I best give a wee bit back story first. Me and my hubby have been ttc no2. I previously had an ectopic pregnancy in 2012 which was treated with methotrexate. After a 3 month ttc break we conceived our son. I couldn't believe we conceived him so quickly as I have pcos, but I guess we where blessed. Anyways fast forward to June last year and I decided to come off my bc in prep for ttc. Last time it took me over a year to ovulate after coming off bc so I wanted to prepare. And rightly enough my cycles ranged anything from 23 days to 4 months initially, so even ntnp was fruitless. Officially started ttc in jan, bfn first cycle (34days), and bfp second cycle. I was overjoyed but something never truely say right I guess, I never had any really preggo symptoms other than tender bbs, despite the fact id had major MS with my son. Anyways I naively thought that despite this everything would be fine. For some reason a stupid part of me believed that having had one loss would make me immune to another but I was wrong. At 9+5 I had the tiniest amount spotting and went for a scan, only to discover baby had passed at 8+3. Worst day of my life, absolute worst. For some reason it felt much worse than the ectopic. I guess cause I'd seen the HB just over a week before, and also cause this time round it looked like a baby - the ectopic never did. And I guess cause I was so blindsided by it too.. I thought I was almost out of the danger zone. Anyways it's been a tough week. Just had my d&c on Thursday after a week waiting for it. The procedure itself was ok. Staff at the hospital where so kind and patient with me, and never rushed me despite how busy they were. Im still going through the motions, one minute I think I'm ok, the next I'm crying my eyes out, but I'm feeling stronger each day. I won't go into all my daft thoughts, worries, and feelings, I'm sure you all are pretty well acquainted with those same feelings so I don't need to spell them out really.
Anyway, there's a part of me that's desperate to be preggo again. I feel guilty about that but really I can't help it. I'm stil grieving for my lost little one but it doesn't negate the fact that I want another child. And I guess part of me wants a pregnancy so that I don't hurt so much anymore. I'm terrified of it cause I know I'll be on tender hooks the whole time, but I still wanna risk it. So I've decided to wait for af then start trying. Hubby and I gonna go on a fertility diet and start preconceive tabs and garlic. I was debating royal jelly too as I hear that's good.
Wooah I seem to have written an essay. Thanks to anyone reading it, I just wanted to write it all down. Maybe there's some of you in the same boat who fancy buddying up with me. Xxx

I am very sorry you are going thru this! I got my bfp in February saw the baby's heart beat 2 times in an ultrasound. Then at 10 weeks...I Started spotting very little. Went I right away to find the baby's heart beat stooped at about 9 weeks. I had a d&c And have been completely emotionally drained since then. I am trying again and not waiting....my Dr is ok with it. However j feel like my period is coming any day now!!
How are you feeling today?

 

[Dollybird]

Aw sorry for your loss too. and thankyou for your reply. I'm ok but bad crampng this morning and passed a little bit something or other. Hoping it all starts to settle during the week. How long ago was your d&c? I debated trying straight away but Id like to try a bit of a fertility cleanse first so figure I'll do that this month, hopefully lose a wee but weight, and get my head together so I can start fresh after af. Might change my mind though as the week passes who knows. How are u feeling? Did u do opks? Xxx

 

[Teeny Weeny]

Hi Dollybird we were in the November thread together. So sorry for your loss.
I too have PCOS and it was a long time TTC only to have a MMC at 9 weeks. I am nearly 5 weeks post surgery now and waiting in AF to move on to my next cycle. We did try this first month, but all I have had are BFN.
I would like to join you on our rainbow journey. Take care of yourself. Xx

 

[Dollybird]

Hi Dollybird we were in the November thread together. So sorry for your loss.
I too have PCOS and it was a long time TTC only to have a MMC at 9 weeks. I am nearly 5 weeks post surgery now and waiting in AF to move on to my next cycle. We did try this first month, but all I have had are BFN.
I would like to join you on our rainbow journey. Take care of yourself. Xx

Hi teeny! Yes I remember you well. How are you getting on? Sorry again for you loss
I had a nose at the November sparklers thread the other day - I'd unsubscribed from it after my miscarriage so hadn't been following it, so thought is just check in. All the girls getting there 12 week scans etc which was lovely to see, but dearie me it had me emotional.. Just wish I was on the same journey. Im so up and down at the moment, but feel bit better now I'm kinda forming an action plan. Hope we get our rainbows soon xxx

 

[Teeny Weeny]

I'm still subscribed but you're right... It breaks my heart that I should be in 2nd tri now and everyone is having scans and moaning about morning sickness etc! What I would do to feel like that.
I meant to add, like you, from the moment I got that BFP I just knew something would go wrong. I had zero symptoms from the start and that set alarm bells ringing with me.
I hope and pray that it doesn't take another 12 months to see a BFP. I promised myself I wouldn't get all worked up chasing the next pregnancy, but I want to be pregnant NOW. Xx

 

[Teeny Weeny]

I'm still subscribed but you're right... It breaks my heart that I should be in 2nd tri now and everyone is having scans and moaning about morning sickness etc! What I would do to feel like that.
I meant to add, like you, from the moment I got that BFP I just knew something would go wrong. I had zero symptoms from the start and that set alarm bells ringing with me.
I hope and pray that it doesn't take another 12 months to see a BFP. I promised myself I wouldn't get all worked up chasing the next pregnancy, but I want to be pregnant NOW. Xx

 

[Dollybird]

Wow you are much stronger person than me I just couldn't bare to stay subscribed. but I am gonna keep checking back now and again it's nice to see the girls all doing well. Yeh I know I'm a little frightened about that myself, dread to think how the mc will mess up my hormones/cycles. And the thought of going months down the line with no bfp isn't nice at all. How long did it take u to conceive this time round? Let's hope the stories about being more fertile in the months after mc are true! Are you tracking your cycle at all? I've just bought some opks off amazon, and also some cheapy hpts. I Wanna use the hpts to see when the hcg finally leaves me too. Just bought all the bits and bobs to start a fertility diet, and all my prenatals! I'm really going for it this time. After my first loss, when we were ttc my son, I was determined to do everything I could to ensure a healthy pregnancy - prenatals, garlic, no caffeine, healthy eating. I even lost 1.5 stone. I was so careful once I became preggo too! This time round I think maybe I took it for granted that I could, and then was, preggo. I've never lost any of the weight I gained after my first pregnancy, and that is not good for my PCOS- I found losing weight the last time really helped with my symptoms. I also never really prepared my body, or dh's, with prenatals this time round. Although I did take pregnacare once I got my bfp. Argh I waffling again! Lol. I have a tendency for that. Xxx

 

[penelopejones]

Hi ladies - I'm from the November group as well. I had a mc last Monday at around 10-11 weeks. Would love to join up for moral support.

I'm not sure what we are going to do now. Like Teeny, we've been trying for a year and this was our first bfp. I conceived after an HSG and we were thinking of doing IUI, but now I'm not sure if we should just try naturally for a few months and then pursue some other options.

Anyway, I'm feeling okay, a little said, but too had 0 symptoms during the pregnancy and didn't really connect with it... if you know what I mean? I just didn't feel pregnant.

At my first appointment they couldn't see the baby--I was at a temporary clinic and they didn't have a transvaginal ultrasound, just the regular one, and the midwife said I had a tipped uterus so she couldn't see down far enough. I should have been worried then. Before I could get another scan I miscarried. Such a shock.

 

[Dollybird]

Hi Penelope. Sorry for your loss too. especially afger so long ttc. I think you will have a good chance at conceiving naturally though especially with having had the hsg. Strange how we all found similar lack of symptoms with our pregnancies. And yes I struggled to bond too. When I was pregnant with my son I felt the bond right from the start but this time I felt a bit detached.. Like it wasn't really happening. I thought it was just because I was so busy looking after my toddler, but perhaps our bodies knew deep down that things weren't going to progress. Who knows. I had issues with my scans too that never seems right- my first scan at 5+4 all they saw was sac and yolk.. I know it's earlg and some women only see that but I saw more early on when I was pregnant with my son. I also had a private scan at 8 weeks which was not very clear at all and i wS really unhappy with it. This was probably due to the quality of the machine in part but I dunno it just never seemed right and made me uneasy. Plus I saw hb but I don't think if wS very fast and the radiographer never told me what rate it was, despite the rate being one of the things they claimed they would tell you during the scan. So maybe she knew too.
I guess despite all of that it doesn't stop it hurting.
Anyways ive started my healthy fertility diet today so feel a bit more in control. Gift he supplements on the go and we've started our garlic capsules too. Hopefully it will all help. Still unsure if we will throw caution to the wind and try anyways this month, but I have a feeling we will end up waiting xxx

 

[Dollybird]

Oh and all my cheapies have arrived. Did a dip yesterday and still positive for hcg. But it's much lighter than my tests had been previously so hopefully ill be back at zero soon. Xxx

 

[penelopejones]

I tested yesterday too--still positive for HCG. The LH strip was very dark, but is that because of the HCG as well? It's been 7 days since the mc so I don't think I'd be ovulating already.

I figure we'll NTNP this cycle and then go see the specialist the next month. I want to redo DH's sperm analysis and the doctor wants to do a saline ultrasound of my uterus and uterine lining... forget what that's called. But maybe we'll be able to conceive naturally again.

 

[havefaith01]

Aw sorry for your loss too. and thankyou for your reply. I'm ok but bad crampng this morning and passed a little bit something or other. Hoping it all starts to settle during the week. How long ago was your d&c? I debated trying straight away but Id like to try a bit of a fertility cleanse first so figure I'll do that this month, hopefully lose a wee but weight, and get my head together so I can start fresh after af. Might change my mind though as the week passes who knows. How are u feeling? Did u do opks? Xxx

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you! I just saw this post. I am 19 days past D&C. I just got a positive on my opk!!! FINALLY! Praying we catch the eggie this month! I am scared but I know God has a plan! I am feeling ok... emtionally drained! How are you?

 

[Teeny Weeny]

Havefaith, that's great news about ovulating already so soon. I hope you catch the egg. Xx
AFM, I have no idea now if/when I ovulated so I am waiting on AF to appear anytime from now. I have purposely used all my HPTs so I cannot test anymore. I thought I was between 10-14 days past ovulation but I can't be sure. I have been so wrapped up in trying to fall pregnant again that I have decided just to wait it out for AF without all the stress.
I think waiting for first AF will help me have a better understanding of my next cycle and we can work in TTC properly again. DH and I have DTD 3 times a week anyway, so if I did ovulate and it's meant to be hopefully there will be some good healthy sperm there waiting.
I am done with the stress of TTC, it's been a long year and I am trying to relax about the whole thing. The miscarriage gave us weeks of stress and I can't be that stressed again.

How are you feeling Dollybird? Xx

 

[NZKiwi]

Hi

I'm hoping I can join you ladies. Sorry for your losses, I had a natural mc last Monday but am also waiting for AF, I have no idea what is going on with my body at all and its making me anxious. I just want to be TTC again. I have a follow up scan tomorrow to make sure there isn't anything left in my uterus. I just really want to move on.
My bleeding has been off an on and I have no idea when to even expect AF

 

[Dollybird]

Hey ladies! :wave:
Yeh Penelope I think it will be hcg causing the lh strip to be dark. I had pos opk when I was pregnant. ive heard that the body won't begin to gear up to ovulate until hcg level drop to pre pregnancy levels, which makes sense i guess. Oh ive never heard of that test, what will it show? Thickness of the lining?
Havefaith that's brilliant!! And actually cd19 isn't too bad at all. It gives me hope that this cycle might not be as long as I was worrying about! Hope you catch that egg.
Teeny that's what I plan to do with the next cycle- no test until I'm actually late. I don't wanna be aware of it if by chance I have a chemicAl. Well that's my intentions anyways but I have 20ics sitting in the cupboard so whether or not I'll be strong enough not to test I dunno.. But I'm gonna try. I had been debating not bottlhering with opks too but decided I will as I wanna know for dating, and actually it's important I know due to the increased ectopic risk- I always get a scan at 6 weeks. The epu said as well as my 6 week scan they will do a 9 week reassurence scan due to the MMC when I'm next pregnant. So that's something.
Nzkiwi sorry for your loss hope your scan goes well. It's so frustrating not knowing when to expect af I agree. Are you going to use opks this month to track? Or giving it all a rest?
Afm. I'm ok. My gp has signed me off work till the 19th but I'm planning on going back before that. I'm still spottin a bit but I think it's tailing off. I'm still quite emotional as well which keeps catching me off guard- I am totally fine one minute and then the next minute im a blithering wreck! Hoping I snap out of all that soon, and I'm sure I will. I'm starting to feel really impatient for ttc. I desperately wanna be pregnant. It all seems so far off and I hate the thought of having to go through the first tri again. I think that's why I feel so eager just to get going with it all, sooner I start sooner I'll be over that first 12 weeks you know. I wish I felt as level headed about it as you do teeny. I'm trying to busy myself with meal planning, and spending extra time thinking up activities for me and my little boy. We are also in the process of trying to sell our house, so although stressful too it's keeping my mind occupied to a degree. I'm spending a lot of time online house hunting which I quite enjoy.
Hope all you ladies are doing ok. Xxx

 

[havefaith01]

Thinking about you ladies! I know how hard, stressful and heartbreaking this can be, especially after a loss. I think I am currently in my TWW.....ughhh... praying I get a BFP! So here is my background after D&C:
March 17th D& C
Tested positive on opks' the whole next week, they started going neg in week 2. Had some bleeding on week 2 for 1 day, Dr said it could have been my period??? Started getting positive opk this week ( Mon-Wed) CD 18-20 ( if I count D& C as day 1) Praying we caught the eggie, and I am making a baby RIGHT NOW! hehehe. Today I would have been 13 weeks... I would have been out of the 1st trimester... that is hard to deal with. I definitely miss my little baby! I wish all this was just a dream.
Praying we all get BFP!!! AND STICKY BEANS!!!!

 

[Teeny Weeny]

I'm out for this month. CD36 and started spotting today. xx

 

[Trying4first1]

Hi everyone. I have now hopped over from the MC support forum. i recently ha a D and C at 9 weeks on 4th April and am just finishing AF now (CD5).
Me and DH have said that as from this weekend we will DTD without protection and see what happens. Part of me wants to try again but the other half of me is so terrified of it all happening again that I feel I don't want to try. We have had 2 losses now and a 3rd would send me over the edge. i still find myself getting tearful every now and then and am always thinking of our angels that we have lost.
I have all these thoughts going around in my head. I thought I would be excited about TTC again but actually I feel like I shouldn't be having to do this as I should still be pregnant. I also feel very anxious about it all going horribly wrong again. I also know that having 2MCs doesn't necessarily mean third time lucky. Need to get out of this negative mindset!
Does anyone else feel this way? On a positive I have have a day 21 blood test being done this month to test hormone levels etc

 

[NZKiwi]

Dollybird, yes, I know how that feels, I want to be pregnant again badly too, and yes mostly because the sooner I am, the sooner I'm out of the first tri, it's terrifying to think of what might happen.

Trying4first1, I'm sorry for your losses, I think it's completely natural to be terrified of it happening again, and the negative mindset can be difficult to overcome. You must be an incredibly strong person to have dealt with this twice, and to odds are that your next pregnancy will be perfect and healthy. One of my friends had two miscarriages (it was her first two pregnancies ever) and is now 7 months along with a healthy daughter, I don't know if you find that comforting or not, but it helped me realise there is always hope and that one or two mc's doesn't predict another.

I'm waiting for AF then will start ttc again, but like the rest of you, it brings a lot of mixed emotions along with it, I would really like to be out of the first tri by the time what was my EDD rolls around (Dec 2)

Feeling super hormonal, in the worst mood ever, I think this is positive sign that the HCG is leaving my body or has left it. I had some bloods taken this morning, so fx that it's gone or mostly gone. My scan went well, nothing left behind and my uterus lining is almost back to pre-pregnancy.

Havefaith, I have fx for a BFP for you! Good luck!!