waiting to ttc after 1st pregnancy loss

[Rebeboo]

Hi All
I have joined this site in hope to talk to other women who have experienced this loss! I am 22 married and been with my husband for 7 years, 1 and a half of those married now.
We were so excited to try for a baby and over the moon when we learnt we were going to become parents! Sadly we experienced a missed miscarriage, baby stoped developing at 9 weeks but we found out at scan 12 weeks.
I had to have a D & C wich happend a few days later, I am now waiting for a period and days seem like years at the moment as I cant wait to ttc again!
I feel angry at others & I hate that! I feel upset and frustarted with myself! All i see are women with babys and bumps and it just makes me feel sad that i wasnt able to do that & scared that I never will be succesful!
My husband hates to talk about it and its all i seem to want to do! I feel bad as he is away most week as he is training for job in forces at mo that im causing him extra pressure with his work load!
I just hope sharing my story on here I may hear some other experiences as all my friends have healthy babys or bumps and really dont understand.

 

[ncmommy]

I'm so sorry for your loss!

What you are feeling is so normal. I'm the only one in my circle of friends who has dealt with mcs and I remember feeling so broken and like I was the only one out there until I found this site. Even though I hate that so many of us go through this it does provide me some comfort that I am not alone in this world. I hope you are able to find some comfort on here. There is also a miscarriage support forum on here that has been helpful also.

I hope you get your sticky bean soon!

 

[Rebeboo]

thank you so much for your message x

 

[calamityjane1]

hey, I am nearly in the exact same situation as you.

We conceived our first pregnancy in August, I had an early scan which showed only the gestational sac when we should have seen more, had a second scan which showed the sac had grown and there was something in it but too tiny to know what (this is at 9ish weeks). They told me there was a tiny chance things would be ok.
I was due a third scan at 11 weeks (this Tuesday) but I misscarried on Sunday/Monday.
I ended up in A and E, on gas and air and on a drip. It was horrific and very painful.

I am now lightly bleeding, and I think we will start to try again after I get my period but I am now petrified of the same happening and dont think I could cope with it a second time. You are not alone xxx

 

[IMPPEARL]

I know how you feel totally! I Miscarried in may and still have my days! I had a bad day at work yesterday... One of my coworkers announced she was 14 weeks prego. We were out on open houses and the lady driving stooped the van so everyone could scream and hug. I had a hard time just putting a smile on my face... then we proceeded into the next house and there were a few of them who knew what I went through and they pulled me aside to make sure I was ok! Nice of them, but that was the icing on the cake, as soon as someone asked I fall apart... I'm in some clients house just trying to regain composure. What a day... anyway I still have a cry when it gets brought up. As I said to my husband last night sometimes you don't really know how much you want something till your not sure if you can have it...

 

[MimiCher]

I am a 61 year old mother of 3 and grandmother of 1 3/4. : ) Both me and my daughter had early miscarriages the first time around. I had trouble conceiving after mine. I ended up switching doctors as I needed some satisfaction and sympathy I wasn't getting from the first group. The second group suggested that I have my tilted uterus moved forward laparoscopically. That might have been part of the cause of the miscarriage, too, in addition to trouble getting pregnant. I did and I got pregnant 3 months later. I am suggesting you have thorough testing done if you have trouble conceiving following the miscarriage. I'm not sure why it is necessary to wait very long after a miscarriage and D&C to get pregnant. I wish you success.

 

[Rebeboo]

Thank you all for your post's! I am so sorry you have all experienced this also! I am so thankfull for your surportive messages and that you are willing to share how you feel.
I hope we are all blessed with a much happier ending to our pregnancy's on our next try and I am so glad these feelings are normall as it can be a very lonely time!
I am so glad to have found this site as it makes me feel not so much alone anymore.
xxx

 

[Rebeboo]

calamityjane1 I aslo feel very scared this will happen again and feel sad that for us it will always be a worry more so than others! I am so sorry for your loss ad really wish we never had to experience this! I do know that when it happens for us we will be fantastic mothers who will appricate and enjoy our baby/baby's so much more after what we have gone through.
IMPPEARL I am sorry to hear of your terrible day! I can only imagine how youe felt! People can be a little inconsiderate!!! My husbands family are very large and all about there next generations children!! My husbands cousin is due exactly the same date as our baby would have been due and im finding this incredibly hard! All they want to do is talk about there nieces and nephews children and how lovely they are and rightly so. I cant help but feel upset, useless and hurt at how i wasnt able to do this and its just a continuous reminder its so very hard! Everything seems to just be a continuous remeinder!Im sure over time it will ease but right now I dont feel to talk about how lovely everyone and there wonderfull familys are some people just dont understand! Sometimes it feels people would rather you dont inconvinece them with your problems beause everythings ok for them like were just ment to brush it under the carpet and move on quickly VERY FRUSTRAITING! x

 

[BlueFairy]

Hi Rebeboo,

I'm really sorry for your loss

I'm 23, have been with my partner nearly 5 years and now married. A couple of months ago went through exactly the same as you, lost at 8 weeks and had to have a DNC op at what would have been 12 weeks. It was my first ever pregnancy and we'd conceived on our wedding night and found out on our honeymoon...it felt too good to be true and it was.


The whole process was horrible, in and out of the early pregnancy unit and then once it was over I had lots of mixed emotions.
I was like you, sad for our loss, angry as I didn't feel it was fair (and I still don't) because we wanted a baby so badly...it was like what did we do to deserve this!

I still see pregnant women all the time like their bumps are some massive beacon to me that reminds me of our lost baby. Some days it really makes me sad and others I feel a lot more positive, like at least I know I can get pregnant in the first place. Although I can't help but think was that my only chance? will it happen again?

I hope your husband will open up to you eventually but don't forget he's probably still trying to come to terms with it all too...and men aren't always as good at showing their emotions and coping with things as well as we are. Give him time and if you want to talk about it we're all here for you.

Your period will come eventually although it does seem like a life time...unfortunately if you're going to continue trying the two weeks leading up to your period always seem like a lifetime to find out if you are pregnant. But once you get pregnant again and everything works out for you'll forget all about this waiting and frustration and hopefully that will happen for you soon!

xx

 

[ttcmikeandme]

I still have days where I feel the same as you. Found out at 11 weeks (Sept 29) with ultrasound that the baby had stopped growing a few weeks before, had no symptoms of miscarriage at all. October 1st had the D&C, went back to work the next day.

I work in an Emergency room, and each shift I see pregnant women, some who are doing everything right, then the ones who are on drugs, drinkers, no prenatal care but have 10 other kids. It's hard not to get frustrated on occasion, and not to question why this happened to me.

It's been almost a month now, and there are moments where I still get upset, and I'm scared now for the next time I do get pregnant I'm afraid i'll be more scared then excited for the first trimester.

Sorry for your loss, if you ever need to talk feel free to pm me