Wanna give up :-(

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Mummy2109, Nov 19, 2011.

  1. Mummy2109

    Mummy2109 Well-Known Member

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    I've just had enough of everything, mostly coz my so called fiance keeps saying he'll be there for me and he isn't. He keeps saying he can go out and do whatever he wants whenever he wants even tho we have a 2 yr old and another on the way. Personally i think Its selfish, I mean I told him when do I ever get to go out and spend time with my mates like he does? I'm either stuck indoors coz I can't go out much (bladder Probs) or I'm taking our son out. All I want to do Is be a happy family, not worry about going out whenever I can. I spend most nights crying myself to sleep coz he would rather fall asleep on the sofa... So much for all the promises about things improving :-(
     
  2. RaspberryB

    RaspberryB Well-Known Member

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    :hugs::hugs:, that sounds really tough especially with you having to look after your son and not being able to get out much. Can you get some pads to deal with the bladder problems so you can get out a bit? This afternoon, I just popped to a coffee shop for a coffee and cake with a couple of friends and their kids and it was lovely to get out.

    It sounds like you need to speak to your fiance again. I also have an OH who likes to go out and the one thing that works best for him is to suggest exactly what I want to happen then be willing to compromise. Saying you want him to go out less may not be specific enough for him to understand so he just continues doing whatever as he doesn't really know what he should do.

    At the moment, a couple of nights a week DH and I have a nice dinner together and watch a bit of TV or something then he goes out at 9.30 ish and I'm in bed by 10pm so it makes almost no difference to me! I find a combination of making sure we spend quality time together, even just window shopping or cooking a nice meal and DH knowing he can go out at certain times/days gives us the best balance and we are both mostly happy.
     
  3. Onemoretime5

    Onemoretime5 Mother of 6 and loving it

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    :hugs:Awww honey! so so sorry you have to go through this:hugs:
     
  4. efairie

    efairie Well-Known Member

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  5. Jennifurball

    Jennifurball Mother of 1 and a bump!

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    My OH is useless too. Keeps telling me/everyone how excited he is to be a dad, yet he does **** all to prove he is growing up and preparing for a child in his life.

    Really at the end of my tether with him. He just spends the weekends drunk and/or sleeping. :dohh::growlmad:
     
  6. beanzz

    beanzz Mama to 2

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    im sorry things are like this for you :hugs: i think you need to try really hard to get through to him by having a talk as he really doesnt seem to be taking your needs into consideration. he should be there helping you out with your child anyway but even more so whilst you're pregnant with your 2nd! :hugs: i hope he realises soon
     
  7. Button#

    Button# Well-Known Member

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    I agree with RaspberryB's idea of being specific about what you want rather than saying go out less which will just make him think you are spoiling his fun. Arrange for him to look after your son so you can go out for a bit or just have some me time. Maybe arrange that you both take your son out or plan a nice dinner and evening in and make sure you let him know this is what you are planning and it's important to you. Hope things improve for you.
     
  8. YoshiPikachu

    YoshiPikachu Mama to Hannah and Joseph

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    Awww I hope things get better for you. :hugs:
     

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