Want a Second Girl, but Convinced it's a Boy

[kategirl]

I'm 12 weeks right now, and convinved that this little one is a boy. I know that I should be happy to have a healthy little baby either way (especially after two losses), but all I can think is that I want a girl. The whole time I've felt like it's a boy, even calling it "he" and "him" and "our son". I just feel like it's a boy, all of the "predictor tests" and old wives tales say it's a boy (Chinese calendar, Mayan calendar, skull theory, nub theory, even the wedding ring one). I know it sounds silly since I don't believe in that stuff, but I even did one of those psychic online predictions done (I did it for the conception months since it was really cheap and seemed fun; she was right about the conception month and also said it would be a boy). The only thing that could point to a girl would be the heartbeat (which was 157 and 155 bpm at my ultrasound and appointment this week), but of course none of those methods are foolproof in any way.

I just can't help but worry that I'll be disappointed when I find out that it's a boy at my anatomy scan. I've always wanted girls, but always imagined only having one child. Once we had our daughter and decided we wanted another, I figured I wouldn't mind if it's a boy since I already have a girl, but now that I'm pregnant, I really just want a second girl. My SIL had two little girls, and I'm also afraid I'll be jealous of her for having two girls. Also, my cousin is having a surprise baby who's their third (of 3 kids) girl who's due a couple months before, so I don't want to feel jealous of her either.

Ugh, I'm just a mess of emotion about it, and I feel guilty for feeling this way. And I'm worried I won't adjust to it once we know for sure.

 

[Princesskell]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way
Don't feel bad, we cannot control our emotions even if we think they are wrong.
I could have written this myself. I wanted to fill my house with loads of little girls...I don't know why.
I have just last Friday given birth to a son...I stayed team yellow throughout the pregnancy but everyone said I was having a boy. I tried not to let myself believe it, but told everyone irl I didn't mind either way as I know I was so lucky to be pregnant with a healthy baby and many people would kill for one of each?
Anyway as my son was born, I saw he was a boy and I'm embarrassed to say I felt a little disappointed. Obviously I am totally in love with him and feel utterly disgusted with myself for feeling this way, but I'm still disappointed and feel some sort of loss.
I imagined my two little girls being so close. My daughter even has a story with two girls in she calls her and her sister and this makes me cry.

I know my hormones are all over the place right now and I know I will love my two children and will never look back, but right now I'm a mess.
Sorry for hijacking your post, I suppose I wanted to admit you're not alone xxx

 

[Vic31]

I have just had a little boy and I could also have written your post!
It took me a week to be OK with it but now...I love him so much. I just feel so protective over him! I know I might not have all the things in the future that I hope to have with his big sister but I'm not thinking about that for now, just how lovely and adorable he is!
I found picking out boys clothes whilst I was pregnant helped just in case he was a boy, and finding a boys name I really liked. I still desperately wanted another girl though and when I looked down and saw his bits I was disappointed. I wouldn't change him now though!

 

[kategirl]

Thanks, Princesskell and Vic31.

I'm trying to just relax about it until my anatomy scan on December 17th when I should (hopefully) find out for sure. For now I'm just trying to assume it's a boy (since I just feel like he is). I did pick up a couple cute boy onsies on a really good clearance at Target the other day (I can return if it did end up being a girl), and I do think that it helped a little.

 

[Zeri]

I was like you. I have a 4 yr old DD and wanted another girl. I've always loved girls and identified with them more than boys. Was very depressed at my 20 wk scan to find out I was having a boy! It took a long time to adjust to the thought. DH and DD wanted a girl too and so were disappointed. Everybody around us was happy and thought we should be too, for getting the perfect pair, but we didn't feel that way. Anyway, my little boy is here now and we all love him to pieces! I'm happy now to have a boy and feel bad now when I thinkvof how disappointed I felt before. Maybe you'll get your girl, but if not, it might be ok too.

 

[kayleigh1985]

We found out today we are having a boy. I really wanted a little girl as I wanted my DD to have a sister and I just don't think I'm going to have a clue what to do with a boy. Tbh when we were done at the scan I got back in the car and burst into tears. I felt so gutted. After I got that out I felt awful and realised its not the end of the world and thankfully we already have our little princess. I went out shopping for boy clothes this afternoon and am starting to feel a bit better.

It's worse because everyone assumes you want one of each so you get the whole 'oh bet you're so pleased'.

Hope you get another princess

 

[Feronia]

I could have written your post, too. I have a daughter and I'm 28 weeks with our second (and last) and want to have another girl. We're staying team yellow because I think it will lesson any disappointment. DH wants another girl, too, and the comments about getting "one of each" really bug me.
Some days I really, really want another girl. Especially when I see two sisters playing together. I was also not close to my little brother at all so that influences my preference.
I'm sure I'll love a little boy just as much eventually, and the things that have helped have been picking out a boy name that I absolutely love. I will be slightly sad not to use this name if I have a girl, and that helps! DD wears mostly boy clothes anyway so buying boy clothes doesn't really help, haha.
Anyway, I know how you feel -- and good luck!

 

[kategirl]

So... it's a boy. And I'm disappointed. I really have always wanted and seen myself with girls. I hope this feeling will pass.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

Sorry you didn't hear pink I have a little boy who is absolutely wonderful, you'll come round in time.. there are lots of pros to having one of each. Hope you are feeling better soon. xxxx

 

[mrs_park]

I'm sorry you didn't get your second girly

Give yourself time, grieve for the little girl you wanted but I promise you when it all sinks in, you will love your boy. I have two and they are amazing! So sweet and affectionate, they are protective of their mummy. They make us laugh every single day.My oldest always picks me flowers from the garden and my youngest has started too. Nothing makes you feel more loved than your son picking you flowers!

Boys are so much fun. I promise xx

 

[MileyMamma]

I have 2 daughters and was desperate for. Third, we found out we're having a boy last Monday, I won't lie I cried as soon as I got in the car after the scan, but now I feel so much better, I bought him some outfits and we have chosen his name and it's all sinking in now and wouldn't have it any other way, don't feel bad for the way you feel it's natural and allow yourself time to grieve, sorry you didn't get your little Girl x

 

[kategirl]

At this point I'm not upset about it, but I'm also not excited about it. I kind of don't expect that to change until he's actually born. I think partly it might just be that he's baby #2; I don't have the time (or energy!) to think about him and connect with him the way I did with baby #1 since I'm more busy chasing after his big sister and I don't need to do much preparing for him since we have most of what we need. I guess I'll just wait until I start feeling it!

 

[Feronia]

kategirl, I was the same way and I really think it is chasing after the older kid and not having as much time/energy to connect as with compared to the first. I don't know the sex of this baby so that must be it. It was only after around 30 weeks that I started to feel more and more connected to this baby, so hopefully it happens to you as time goes by.