Wanting a baby at just turned 20?

[bailey4eva]

Hi everybody! I have been extremely broody the past couple of months and have decided to come off the pill to get myself physically ready for a baby. I have some worries though! I'm sure they are normal worries but the main ones are what the parents would think. I know it's my choice and everything, but I personally think 20 is about the youngest age for me to have children (I realise it is different for everybody though so I'm not saying younger isn't acceptable). I think that my mum wouldn't be over the moon about it, but I know she would be more understanding as my older sister was pregnant at 17 and wasn't ready. My dad is the biggest worry! I remember him telling me not to get pregnant! I was 18 at the time though and wasn't interested anyway so agreed that 25 was OK. (not a deadly serious conversation if you know what i mean though :s) in my mum n dads eyes I have been the career minded girl, and though I haven't gone to university and they were fine about that, I think they wouldn't be too happy with me. I know they would come round but arghhh I'm going on sorry hehe! Basically, I want to know what you think to wanting to start a family at 20? I have been with my OH for nearly 3 and a half years, been living with him almost 1, things are great between us and we both feel ready. Thanks for reading

 

[jillypoop]

hey I'm in a similar situation to you really. Few months younger though Check out my journal (its boring but you'll know my story then!). I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to/starting a family at 20 as long as you know what you're getting yourself into if that makes sense!!!

My mum and dad said dont have kids for a few years but when I talked to my dad about it he smiled and looked a bit excited about the thought of being a grandad.

good luck. Try starting a journal, they really help and I promise to read!!
xxx

 

[Waiting4Bump]

Heya,

Well, I guess I'm in the same situation more or less to. I am 20, and me and OH are on a break from trying at the minute, but we are trying for our first baby. Me and OH have decided that we will both be very happy, and it will make us complete. We are looking for our own place at the minute, and we are excited about it all. We lost a baby last month, which was planned, and we are still completely devastated.

My parent's are both older parents and want to have grandchildren soon so they can enjoy the time with them when they are still young enough to be active with them. I have only just found this out, which shocked me, but pleased me so much.

If you ever need to chat to anyone, then this is the place to come. Wishing you all the luck in the world..xx

 

[TashaAndBump]

Hey, if you feel you and you OH are ready and you are emotionally and financially stable then I see no reason why not to. Have you discussed with with your partner? At the end of the day it has to be a decision between you two and nothing we can say nor anything your parents might thing will matter.

Have you any real reason (not including what others might think) for your to wait? If not then... What are you waiting for?

 

[Alexas Mommy]

I was 19 when I got pregnant, (yes planned) OH was 20, and I was 20 when we had Alexa... we had been together for quite a few years, and living together for 2 years when she was born. I think as long as you are supporting yourself, and you have a healthy relationship, and you both make your own money, then it is okay. Yeah, your parents might now be happy at first, but as long as you are not under their roof, I am sure they will be fine with it..

 

[CurlySue]

It really does depend on what your boyfriend/husband thinks of the situation, really. You might be ready at 20, but is he? Wouldn't be fair, really, to come off the pill and get pregnant when it's something he's not emotionally ready for.

 

[polo_princess]

Hey, if you feel you and you OH are ready and you are emotionally and financially stable then I see no reason why not to.

I agree with Tasha, any younger and i would say not to but 20 is a decent age, you should really be independant by then and have made some kind of life for yourself.

I started TTC at the age of 20 and it took me almost 2 years before i conceived Brooke.

Good luck with whatever you decide

 

[wantababybump]

I got married at 20 and got pregnant a month later. We werent trying but we werent preventing. I am 22 in may and still TTC. I think if you feel ready then go for it! Good luck!! xx

 

[young mum]

Hi everybody! I have been extremely broody the past couple of months and have decided to come off the pill to get myself physically ready for a baby. I have some worries though! I'm sure they are normal worries but the main ones are what the parents would think. I know it's my choice and everything, but I personally think 20 is about the youngest age for me to have children (I realise it is different for everybody though so I'm not saying younger isn't acceptable). I think that my mum wouldn't be over the moon about it, but I know she would be more understanding as my older sister was pregnant at 17 and wasn't ready. My dad is the biggest worry! I remember him telling me not to get pregnant! I was 18 at the time though and wasn't interested anyway so agreed that 25 was OK. (not a deadly serious conversation if you know what i mean though :s) in my mum n dads eyes I have been the career minded girl, and though I haven't gone to university and they were fine about that, I think they wouldn't be too happy with me. I know they would come round but arghhh I'm going on sorry hehe! Basically, I want to know what you think to wanting to start a family at 20? I have been with my OH for nearly 3 and a half years, been living with him almost 1, things are great between us and we both feel ready. Thanks for reading

I kinda was in the same situation, Im 20 and getting married in March wit a little one on the way, about 7months ago was made to choose my mums side of the family or my OH, and choose to stay with my OH (long story so wont go into it) but we had already started trying for a baby, a month later i found out i was pregnant and was over the moon. You parents will come round hun, but dont forget it will take a good 3 months for the pill to come out of your system, but some girls are different it only took me 2 months and i had been on the implant at the same time. You can still have a career and look after baby. Im in the forces, and im going back to work after baby is born,there is alot to think about but im sure you will make the right choice. Good luck hun!!!! xxx

 

[bailey4eva]

It really does depend on what your boyfriend/husband thinks of the situation, really. You might be ready at 20, but is he? Wouldn't be fair, really, to come off the pill and get pregnant when it's something he's not emotionally ready for.

Hi, yea he is ready, I couldn't do that to him if he wasn't ready. Infact, he is the one that made it more of a reality than something we just thought about! I would feel silly if he didn't want one. Thanks for your post though! x

 

[toffee87]

Hello!

I agree with what has been said. If you both feel ready, both financially and emotionally then go for it!

 

[bailey4eva]

hey I'm in a similar situation to you really. Few months younger though Check out my journal (its boring but you'll know my story then!). I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to/starting a family at 20 as long as you know what you're getting yourself into if that makes sense!!!

My mum and dad said dont have kids for a few years but when I talked to my dad about it he smiled and looked a bit excited about the thought of being a grandad.

good luck. Try starting a journal, they really help and I promise to read!!
xxx

Being new, how do I have a look at your journal? I have a little hope that they will be pleased ( i know they will eventually, i think i will just have to convince them im doing the right thing, im just rubbish at explaining things verbally! ). I will start a journal soon, would like to have a read back when more has happened I suppose, as I can imagine EVERYTHING changes, scary but exciting hehe. Thank you x x

 

[jen1604]

Hi Bailey.If youre both ready,go for it.I had my daughter who was planned at 19.Good luck making your decision hon xxxxxxxxxx

 

[bailey4eva]

Hi Bailey.If youre both ready,go for it.I had my daughter who was planned at 19.Good luck making your decision hon xxxxxxxxxx

Your little one is just so gorgeous!!!! Awwww hehe. How did your parents react to your pregnancy? x

 

[bailey4eva]

Heya,

Well, I guess I'm in the same situation more or less to. I am 20, and me and OH are on a break from trying at the minute, but we are trying for our first baby. Me and OH have decided that we will both be very happy, and it will make us complete. We are looking for our own place at the minute, and we are excited about it all. We lost a baby last month, which was planned, and we are still completely devastated.

My parent's are both older parents and want to have grandchildren soon so they can enjoy the time with them when they are still young enough to be active with them. I have only just found this out, which shocked me, but pleased me so much.

If you ever need to chat to anyone, then this is the place to come. Wishing you all the luck in the world..xx

Thanks for your message, I can't imagine what you must have gone through. Things like that really shouldn't happen should they. I suppose it makes you cherish it even more when the baby comes along. I have been given lots of confidence from this message as my parents are in their 50's now, though not old, I can talk to them about the future in a positive way rather than "overcoming the struggle". I guess as well that any parents will ever feel their children will be ready to have their own. Even if they are in their thirties! They definately wouldn't turn their backs on me, but may give me a look as if to say "you don't know what you are letting yourself in for" whilst thinking of all the negatives!! Thanks again for your message x x x

 

[bailey4eva]

Hey, if you feel you and you OH are ready and you are emotionally and financially stable then I see no reason why not to. Have you discussed with with your partner? At the end of the day it has to be a decision between you two and nothing we can say nor anything your parents might thing will matter.

Have you any real reason (not including what others might think) for your to wait? If not then... What are you waiting for?

Aww picture is so cute hehe We feel ready emotionally, not quite so much financially as OH is out of work at the moment and paying to live where we are is a little bit of a struggle. However, things are happening to get things back on track, and by the time we are even TTC he should be working. Hope the credit crunch doesn't stop that anyway. I like your way of thinking! if there is not reason not to wait then why wait hehe. I think it is true that many people are a little apprehensive with their first time, I suppose its natural to worry whether you are upto it! I know lots of people that have had a baby sooner than they were ready to, they are coping and most of them have troubles with the father of the baby (not a very stable relationship) and are far worse off. Thanks for the advice I keep getting all excited x

 

[jen1604]

Hi Bailey.If youre both ready,go for it.I had my daughter who was planned at 19.Good luck making your decision hon xxxxxxxxxx

Your little one is just so gorgeous!!!! Awwww hehe. How did your parents react to your pregnancy? x

Thank you!
Well we already lived together in a 2-bed house,we both worked and had money saved for the baby so I think they knew it would happen quite soon.Oh's parents were thrilled-his dad went all manly and said 'congratulations son' and shook OH's hand and his mum got SO excited,bless her.
My dad and stepmum were thrilled and excited too!Only my mum wasnt impressed but shes a bit of a moody madam anyway who hates children.She didnt speak to me for 3 months.But after that she just dealt with it and she loves ophelia now.xx

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

I just wanted to say that i'm also in a pretty similar situation but i'm 19 rather than 20. It would seem judging by the numbers of us on here feeling the same way that it's more common than people think xx

 

[aimee-lou]

Hi,

I agree with what all the other girls have said.

I personally wouldn't have (and didn't) want children when I was 20 but then again I was at university and in a bad relationship. As it happens I'm now 25, married to a wonderful man, living in a 2.5 bed house (Hardly call the 3rd one a bedroom....just enough room for a desk!!) and working in a job that I love. It's the next logical step really.

I think if you have reached a place in your life where you know that a child will be in a stable, loving family, then go for it.

Best of luck and I hope that OH gets a job soon so you can get on working at that BFP! Enjoy the practise til then

 

[chaznchipz]

Hi
Like alot of others, I am fairly similar to you too, except a little bit older, 21 nearly 22!!!
I would love a baby, but feel that my parents would think I am too young! I am the career minded one in the family and I feel that there would be disappointment in my family if I got pregnant now. However my partners family really want us to have a baby as they were all "young mums" and think I'm getting too old, believe it or not!!!

However, I believe that if you are in a stable relationship, have enough money and feel ready, then there is no reason why you shouldnt just go for it, no matter how old you are!!!