Wanting a baby young - help!

[NatalieW]

You have definately made the right choice, and the right choice for you. After your degree you will have a lot more job opportunities open to you which will support your new family. Good Luck.

 

[Anababe]

Hey hun, you have made the right choice to wait til after your degree. You'll have more time to think about what you really want then and if your ready to have a baby.

But as for being to young, i have to disagree with people on this. Its not about age its about you as a person, how emotionally, physically and financially stable you are to take on a child. All through growing up i wanted a baby, i knew that having a family young was all i wanted from life and as my only way to concieve was through Donor Insemination it gave me more of an option to do it when i liked, rather than have to wait for my partner. I went ahead with it at aged 21 and risked losing my partner at the time, which i did at 7 weeks pregnant.. but i dont regret it! I am now almost 23, a single mum, my baby is almost 10 months old and im now TTC my second. People say im doing it too soon, but i know how i feel and its the right time for me.

Another thing is, no matter what people say.. when that baby is born your life does NOT come to a halt.. nothing changes only your attitude towards life. You then have something so precious to look after and its amazing, but its certainly not the end of your life, i still go out and have a drink, i have mates and im a normal 23 yr old, only difference now is ive got responsibilities and i know my limits. I dont agree you have to be in a really well paid job, as long as you are comfortable and able to pay all your bills. A baby is only as expensive as you make it. My son doesnt go short of anything but he certainly doesnt get a fortune spent on him!

I guess what im trying to say is, although theres nothing really you can do until you bf is ready, dont let anyone tell you your too young or making the wrong decision having a child. You do what you feel is right, its your life, and only you know if you are ready to take on that kind of responsibility and commitment.

Good Luck in whatever you decide

xx

 

[LeaArr]

Good plan girl!! I wish you all the best.

 

[porkpie1981]

Hey hun, you have made the right choice to wait til after your degree. You'll have more time to think about what you really want then and if your ready to have a baby.

But as for being to young, i have to disagree with people on this. Its not about age its about you as a person, how emotionally, physically and financially stable you are to take on a child. All through growing up i wanted a baby, i knew that having a family young was all i wanted from life and as my only way to concieve was through Donor Insemination it gave me more of an option to do it when i liked, rather than have to wait for my partner. I went ahead with it at aged 21 and risked losing my partner at the time, which i did at 7 weeks pregnant.. but i dont regret it! I am now almost 23, a single mum, my baby is almost 10 months old and im now TTC my second. People say im doing it too soon, but i know how i feel and its the right time for me.


I actually wanted to have a baby like this when i was single as i didnt want to relay in a man. I remeber going to a website, nomanneeded.com

I agree about the job and money thing u said also
Another thing is, no matter what people say.. when that baby is born your life does NOT come to a halt.. nothing changes only your attitude towards life. You then have something so precious to look after and its amazing, but its certainly not the end of your life, i still go out and have a drink, i have mates and im a normal 23 yr old, only difference now is ive got responsibilities and i know my limits. I dont agree you have to be in a really well paid job, as long as you are comfortable and able to pay all your bills. A baby is only as expensive as you make it. My son doesnt go short of anything but he certainly doesnt get a fortune spent on him!

I guess what im trying to say is, although theres nothing really you can do until you bf is ready, dont let anyone tell you your too young or making the wrong decision having a child. You do what you feel is right, its your life, and only you know if you are ready to take on that kind of responsibility and commitment.

Good Luck in whatever you decide

xx

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

Thanks for all the support guys x

 

[mommytashaX2]

I think its great that you feel that you are ready to bring a child into this world however, you have to make sure that your bf is on the same page with you since he is going to have to share the responsibility of raising this child. It doesn't really matter what everyone else says because in the end, its your decision and it will be your responsibility. If you feel like you really are ready and this is a good time (emotionally, financially etc.), you should talk to your bf and let him know how you are feeling and tell him the reasons why you think it would be a good idea right now.. If that doesn't work out, don't stop taking your pills without telling him, this might not work out in your favor. Plus, you have plenty of time because you are still young. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you

 

[porkpie1981]

Im not sure why my post went into the middle of the above so here it is again

I actually wanted to have a baby like this when i was single as i didnt want to relay in a man. I remeber going to a website, nomanneeded.com

I agree about the job and money thing u said also

 

[Refoca]

I have been broody for years, but the time hasn't been quite right for us. We've been waiting until we're settled in jobs and have enough money.

The really frustrating thing about waiting is I have a couple of friends who had babies in their teens. Much worse off financially, but their kids have everything they need and love in spades.

Did think of "accidentally on purpose" route, once we saw it worked out fine for them...but it would have been pretty irresponsible as we knew we wanted more security.

So we waited and are now ready. It's only been three or four years of waiting since we first got really broody, and although it felt like a long time at the time looking back it wasn't so bad! And we've done loads that would have been more difficult with a child.

It's an individual choice, best made jointly with your longterm partner...all I'd say though is the wait isn't as bad as you think!

Reading your responses, it looks like you've decided, which is great. Hope it all goes well when the time does come to ttc!

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

I still feel as though i'm 100% ready but i managed to talk to my boyfriend about it last night and it was the most horrible conversation i've had to have with him ever.

It ended up in me getting upset and feeling like he just must not love me enough to want a baby with me. Although i know that probably he isn't true, he said it's a finance issue. But then he said that he just isn't ready and now he's worried i'm going to leave him for someone that will have a baby with me now. Although that wouldn't happen because i love him too much.

Argh its so horrible x

 

[Younglutonmum]

hey there..

You and me where in the same situation.. I wanted a baby ever sence i was real young younger than u sence i was about 13 actaully ha ha... I never had a steady boyfriend tell about the age 16, when i was 16 i accidently fell pregnant i was over joyed but my body was WAY to small to carry the baby (waa) i was only like 90 pounds and only like 4'8 in heigh... it was not healthy at all and to add i was anorexic... any way... i am 18 now and i fell pregnant again on purpose this time ... my boyfriend doesnt feel ready but i do... so yeah.... he wanted to last month but this month he is really scared about it...

So my advice too you is do what u want, i think that if u really want this make your boyfriend c this, and talk it over with him.. Stop taking the pill and let it happen..

Hope eveything works out for ya hunni XOXO

Are you seriously advising that Katy comes off the pill if that's what SHE wants??

That is totally irresponsible & wrong. I actually hate it when women do this. Having a baby should be a joint decision no matter how deep your desire to have a child is.

I truely think that if a woman tricks a man into making her pregnant then why should he have to stand by her? I know alot of women might think im wrong for saying that but i'm a massive believer in that.

Accidents do happen, i'm proof of that but you shouldn't help these accidents along.

Katy is a young woman with her whole life ahead of her. She should get her education behind her & sort out her finances & then TTC. If she fell pregnant now then she'd probably need help in the form of state benefits. I claim Income Support & it's tough. Ive got just enough to get by on. To be quiet honest I hate claiming & am so looking forward to going back to college, re-training & getting a decent career. Katy can do all this first!!

 

[orange-sox]

Are you seriously advising that Katy comes off the pill if that's what SHE wants??

I think she means after they've talked about it, and she's made him see how much she wants a baby that she should stop taking the pill and let things happen naturally... IF they are both in agreement.

I think?!?

 

[Younglutonmum]

I think she means after they've talked about it, and she's made him see how much she wants a baby that she should stop taking the pill and let things happen naturally... IF they are both in agreement.

I think?!?

I hope so too lol!!

I really wasn't too sure though so thought i'd have my little say anyhow hehehe

It's just where she said 'do what you want'

But then she said 'talk to your boyfriend'

Im confuzzled lol

 

[orange-sox]

Whoops, forgot to actually comment on Katy's post, sorry!!

My advice to you Katy honey is, please talk to your boyfriend and tell him how you feel. Explain your longing for a baby. Maybe you can both decide a time to TTC, and while you are waiting you could make a concerned effort to save for your baby? Then you can feel like you're really doing something to improve the life you will have with your child?

A baby is a big decision, and a big change in your life, and you and your boyfriend need to make that decision together.

I know how difficult it is, I long for a baby so much, but I know if we wait just a little longer, the life we will have with our baby will be so much better. It's tough to stay strong, but if you take each day at a time you will get there.

 

[Younglutonmum]

Whoops, forgot to actually comment on Katy's post, sorry!!

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

I tried to speak to him but all i got in response was "I will decide when i'm ready and until then i'm not saying anything" x

 

[Younglutonmum]

It's really obvious he's just not ready then hunni

I'd leave it now, you've tried to talk.

Concentrate on getting your education sorted & if the 2 of you are still together when you've obtained your degree & you still want a baby then try again

For now just enjoy your relationship with him

 

[orange-sox]

I tried to speak to him but all i got in response was "I will decide when i'm ready and until then i'm not saying anything" x

I would say from that he's not ready, but also really scared at the idea of it.

His blunt response suggests to me that he's probably petrified at the idea that one day he will be responsible for another human being, who will absolutely 100% depend on him.

Women are programmed to want babies, and men are programmed to drink beer (I'm joking ) what I'm trying to say is, women tend to want children earlier than men do.

Enjoy your relationship, and re-evaluate your situation in 6 months or so. In the meantime, what about saving money for your future like I suggested in my earlier post, it will give you something to concentrate on

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

We spoke about it again yesterday, he said since i brought it up properly as a big issue he's been thinking about it a lot and has reached the conclusion we can start ttc in 2 or 3 years, after i finish uni and hopefully have been in a job for a little while and we have our own place xx

 

[Lynxylaydee1]

well, you should defo talk to him about it, if u love each other it will be a joint decision. where would u live if u had a baby together? staying over each night altho it feels like it is not the same as living together. im not saying dont as im 19 an ttc but just be sure that it will be a wanted baby that you will both be ready for, good luck in talking to him, Lynxy xx

 

[orange-sox]

We spoke about it again yesterday, he said since i brought it up properly as a big issue he's been thinking about it a lot and has reached the conclusion we can start ttc in 2 or 3 years, after i finish uni and hopefully have been in a job for a little while and we have our own place xx

That's excellent news

Now you know where you stand, and you've made the decision together