Well, i sorta did a similar thing, and it didnt end well for me.
I was on the pill, n had always took it late every now and then- i am soooo forgetful. But then i started to not be bothered about if i took it late, n not tell hubby that we needed extra precautions, i was so desperate for a baby. I ended up pregnant. Hubby wasnt ready for it (not sure if i was either really), i had no job, and hubby was possibly being made redundant. Stupid timing if u ask me. Anyway, i wanted to keep it regardless, and he didnt. In the end i had an abortion. I think i had the abortion because i came to my senses and realised that; that was the sort of thing that i shouldnt have forced him into. If it was a proper accident, i think i might have stood my ground. But i just felt so bad knowing that i had trapped him, and was going to make him do something he really didnt want to do. I imagined looking at this child for the rest of its life and knowing that daddy didnt want it, that i had forced it, and that it's whole life had a massive secret behind it. I dont deal with guilt well, and i would have felt guilty every time i looked at either of them, this big secret eating me up inside.
We're now 6 months down the line, we both have secure jobs, and we have decided to actually start trying in a year's time. This is big news for us! I never stopped wanting a baby, i was desperate to have it. I was desperate enough to make it. But reality kicked in, and when it did, it made me feel like sh1t. Since the pregnancy/abortion, we have talked a LOT! Before the pregnancy, hubby had said "we might start trying in 5 years!!!!!" It's since come down to one year, and part of me thinks he's actually like it if it came along now instead- but i wont make the same mistake again.
So, i'm on here for the next 12 months, counting down the days, feeling soooooooo frustrated- because i know we'd be great parents! But i know its what i have to do at the moment.
PM me if u need to chat
