I don’t understand

[Mummy23beauts]

Hi there,

I was last on here a few months ago and got my bfp but at my first scan there was no heartbeat. We decided to ntnp but I can tell dh wants this so bad. We dtd the whole week of my fertile days, 3/4 times a day in September. I believe I am 11dpo with af due on Thursday, I have had bfn’s on multiple tests. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong

 

[cheerios]

I don't think you're doing anything wrong hun. The fact that you got a BFP means that your body can get pregnant naturally, so that's a good sign! No heartbeat is really sad; but at that stage, it's usually a chromosomal issue.

It does take up to 6 months for even perfectly healthy couples to conceive. It's a myth that things work out quickly even if both guy and woman are healthy. How old are you / your husband? Do you have any pre-existing conditions?

 

[Mummy23beauts]

I don't think you're doing anything wrong hun. The fact that you got a BFP means that your body can get pregnant naturally, so that's a good sign! No heartbeat is really sad; but at that stage, it's usually a chromosomal issue.

It does take up to 6 months for even perfectly healthy couples to conceive. It's a myth that things work out quickly even if both guy and woman are healthy. How old are you / your husband? Do you have any pre-existing conditions?

Thankyou for replying, we have 5 children who were easy to conceive but I’m now 37 and I think my body has taken its toll. Neither of us has any pre-existing conditions and we are both quite healthy. I really don’t want to go down the fertility route I think we may have to give up if it doesn’t happen, Dh is 37 also

 

[autumnal]

I'm really sorry you lost the baby But unfortunately even if you time everything perfectly it might not work and that's pretty normal. I wouldn't start worrying just yet. Even being in my 20s at the time, it took me about a year to conceive my second child and I also had a miscarriage in that timespan. My first and third child happened right away. It seems pretty random unfortunately.

 

[Mummy23beauts]

Well I tested again, af due tomorrow. I don’t know why I continue to do this to myself.

The clear blue had a faintest of faint line at 3minutes, the Poundland test was shortly after but within the 5minutes and I have an easy@home (I did 2 from same sample) both have faint lines although I didn’t take pictures of those because I’m classing these as negative. I know faint lines the day before af is late implantation and that’s never a good thing for me.

 

[Laurabub84]

Hi hun. I’m so sorry for your loss. This happened to me 2 years ago. Try not to get too worried about age. I actually found the one I lost and my 10 month old that followed the quickest I’d ever conceived and I was 37/38 with them. I have 6 children. My first I fell when I was 20 with no issues. My 2nd wasn’t too long but the rest after that were a real struggle. From my mid 20’s to mid 30’s I had a lot of trouble with long anovulatory cycles and it took me a year onwards to get pregnant and most months I couldn’t even try because I wasn’t ovulating. Back in 2022 I fell first try for the first time ever. Was a huge shock, but from the very first bfp I just had an awful feeling it was too good to be true and something just felt wrong. At our 12 week scan baby had passed at 8 weeks. I bled for over a month with the miscarriage. It was so hard because I just needed to be pregnant again to help heal my heart. My baby was very much wanted and it was devastating to lose. I think once my periods came back it took around 4/5 months for me to fall with my now 10 month old. I just had constant bfn in between and I started to panic that the miscarriage had caused problems. I remember how hard it was trying after a loss and getting bfn despite timing perfectly. The desperation for that bfp was just torture. But it did happen and it will for you too my lovely. Your body may just need a month or two to heal. I really hope next month will be the one to bring your rainbow. Sending big hugs hun. I don’t post much anymore but still follow along when I can so I’ll be rooting for you

 

[Mummy23beauts]

Hi hun. I’m so sorry for your loss. This happened to me 2 years ago. Try not to get too worried about age. I actually found the one I lost and my 10 month old that followed the quickest I’d ever conceived and I was 37/38 with them. I have 6 children. My first I fell when I was 20 with no issues. My 2nd wasn’t too long but the rest after that were a real struggle. From my mid 20’s to mid 30’s I had a lot of trouble with long anovulatory cycles and it took me a year onwards to get pregnant and most months I couldn’t even try because I wasn’t ovulating. Back in 2022 I fell first try for the first time ever. Was a huge shock, but from the very first bfp I just had an awful feeling it was too good to be true and something just felt wrong. At our 12 week scan baby had passed at 8 weeks. I bled for over a month with the miscarriage. It was so hard because I just needed to be pregnant again to help heal my heart. My baby was very much wanted and it was devastating to lose. I think once my periods came back it took around 4/5 months for me to fall with my now 10 month old. I just had constant bfn in between and I started to panic that the miscarriage had caused problems. I remember how hard it was trying after a loss and getting bfn despite timing perfectly. The desperation for that bfp was just torture. But it did happen and it will for you too my lovely. Your body may just need a month or two to heal. I really hope next month will be the one to bring your rainbow. Sending big hugs hun. I don’t post much anymore but still follow along when I can so I’ll be rooting for you

Thankyou so much I am sat in tears reading this, it’s like you could feel how I’m feeling. I’m so sorry you went through that experience also, words can’t describe the size of the hole a miscarriage can leave. Thankyou for your kind words xx