WARNING: Frank Sex Talk Ahead

[adopim]

I'm slowly introducing my DH to D/s type stuff. I'm definitely a sub and while my husband leans toward sub, he has the ability to be in the role of Dom (i can see he has geeat potential). It's a long road but we'll get there and as a true sub we are taking things at his pace.
Thinking about pain in labor that way is very intriguing. If you are in tune with your body it is possible the same concept could be used as a pain management. I have a high pain tolerance but with my first I still went with an epi for my pain management.

 

[adopim]

Can I just say that I'm jealous of all you ladies whose husbands will do BDSM? Mine has zero interest...sigh

Our road is going to be a super long road. It's not an easy road, but for me submission is something engrained in me that I have a deep desire, almost need, to do (sorry, that sounds super weird). I want to I corporate pain play eventually but it will be a long while before that can happen.

 

[Dtswife]

I'm a wuss outside of "sexy fun time pain" too, but after reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, watching Orgasmic Birth (NOT as weird as it sounds, I promise) and reading a bunch of Sheila Kitzinger's stuff, I wonder if since birth is such an intimate, if not sexual, experience, if i can get into similar headspace. Going to give it a shot anyway.

 

[9jawife]

Can I just say that I'm jealous of all you ladies whose husbands will do BDSM? Mine has zero interest...sigh

Our road is going to be a super long road. It's not an easy road, but for me submission is something engrained in me that I have a deep desire, almost need, to do (sorry, that sounds super weird). I want to I corporate pain play eventually but it will be a long while before that can happen.

Not weird at all. I'm the exact same way, I want to be submissive. I'm not into pain personally but light spanking is good and I like to be restrained. The one time we did it (restraining) was so amazing. Unfortunately he won't do it very often despite my hints. Don't know if he's afraid of hurting me or just lazy. Any suggestions?

 

[sweetavenue]

Can I just say that I'm jealous of all you ladies whose husbands will do BDSM? Mine has zero interest...sigh

Our road is going to be a super long road. It's not an easy road, but for me submission is something engrained in me that I have a deep desire, almost need, to do (sorry, that sounds super weird). I want to I corporate pain play eventually but it will be a long while before that can happen.

Not weird at all. I'm the exact same way, I want to be submissive. I'm not into pain personally but light spanking is good and I like to be restrained. The one time we did it (restraining) was so amazing. Unfortunately he won't do it very often despite my hints. Don't know if he's afraid of hurting me or just lazy. Any suggestions?

My hint: just tell him that you want to be restrained! I bet when he sees how excited it makes you, it will make sex extremely enjoyable for him too. Sometimes you just have to stop hinting and just lay it all out. Good luck!

 

[Dtswife]

[

Not weird at all. I'm the exact same way, I want to be submissive. I'm not into pain personally but light spanking is good and I like to be restrained. The one time we did it (restraining) was so amazing. Unfortunately he won't do it very often despite my hints. Don't know if he's afraid of hurting me or just lazy. Any suggestions?

Speaking as a switch/Dom, I can tell you that it's scary to think about hurting and restraning someone you love. It's HOT, but also like, does it make me a bad person that I want to tie them down and call them a filthy whore and put clothespins on their . . . You get the drift. DH is the one who introduced me and got me to play and he did it by being very direct and honest about what he wanted and liked, explaining why it was OK, and then. . . leaving me alone. It worked very well for him. Kink certainly isn't all we do in bed, and we are definitely not 24/7, but D/s is always there if we want it.

 

[Kiss08]

Interesting way to think about it. I think it definitely could help!

And for the record, I have a 50 shades bundle!! Starting reading it and got pregnant that month!! Pretttty sure the time we conceived was after I read a chapter and pounced DH right afterwards.....

 

[bella21]

Interesting way to think about it. I think it definitely could help!

And for the record, I have a 50 shades bundle!! Starting reading it and got pregnant that month!! Pretttty sure the time we conceived was after I read a chapter and pounced DH right afterwards.....

hehehe I've been saying theres going to be a 50 shades baby boom

 

[Purplehippo]

Can I just say that I'm jealous of all you ladies whose husbands will do BDSM? Mine has zero interest...sigh

My husband has zero interest in sex full stop ! It made conceiving difficult. He has had issues in past where someone took mick. I find it really hard as I'm the other way and yep have read all the 50 shades

 

[adopim]

Not weird at all. I'm the exact same way, I want to be submissive. I'm not into pain personally but light spanking is good and I like to be restrained. The one time we did it (restraining) was so amazing. Unfortunately he won't do it very often despite my hints. Don't know if he's afraid of hurting me or just lazy. Any suggestions?

Speaking as a switch/Dom, I can tell you that it's scary to think about hurting and restraning someone you love. It's HOT, but also like, does it make me a bad person that I want to tie them down and call them a filthy whore and put clothespins on their . . . You get the drift. DH is the one who introduced me and got me to play and he did it by being very direct and honest about what he wanted and liked, explaining why it was OK, and then. . . leaving me alone. It worked very well for him. Kink certainly isn't all we do in bed, and we are definitely not 24/7, but D/s is always there if we want it.

My DH is still apprehensive of restraining me with actual restraints (which I have for him when he feels ready for it). He will hold my arms above my head sometimes though. I am hoping to eventually get to a point of a 24/7 D/s, but we have a super long way to go. I was direct about everything, straight and to the point. I wasn't sure how he would react, but I did have my limits physically written out.
The first thing that I really did to try to get us rolling in the right direction without giving up my submissive role was to give him blanket consent and full control over our sex life.
I'm not into hardcore pain or edge play, my tastes are actually generally mild from the BDSM perspective but they are still a far cry from vanilla.

I don't really have too much other advice for continuing forward besides what Dtswife and sweetavenue said: be direct and completely honest.


PS. Yes, I have read the 50 Shades series.... A few times...

 

[MrsTurner2012]

Interesting way to think about it. I think it definitely could help!

And for the record, I have a 50 shades bundle!! Starting reading it and got pregnant that month!! Pretttty sure the time we conceived was after I read a chapter and pounced DH right afterwards.....

hehehe I've been saying theres going to be a 50 shades baby boom

3 of my friends got preg whilst reading the books! They all had thier babies within a week of each other in feb!

 

[Kiss08]

I love this! Hahaha.

 

[bella21]

I love this! Hahaha.

omg too funny!!

 

[Dtswife]

The book Master/Slave is HAWT too. Half is from fem sub perspective and half is from Male Dom perspective. Short stories. I liked most of them. Got some really good ideas too!

 

[9jawife]

Ok, I ordered our first kink item... a paddle. Let's hope he agrees to use it on me and enjoys it. LOL

 

[Tower6]

Just have to say- I LOVE THIS THREAD!
I concieved after our stop at the pleasure shop durin our date night

 

[adopim]

Just have to say- I LOVE THIS THREAD!
I concieved after our stop at the pleasure shop durin our date night

Nice!

 

[goddess25]

Its certainly an interesting perspective..from what I understand though is you have some control whether you are a sub or dom right...unfortunately with labour you have no control once its started you have no choice but to ride it out. No safe words etc.

BTW if you have read some decent BDSM erotica I would not give 50 shades a read, its awfully written and the sex isn't even that erotic, there are hundreds of books way better out there. I found anyway. Might give your recommendation a go.

 

[adopim]

Its certainly an interesting perspective..from what I understand though is you have some control whether you are a sub or dom right...unfortunately with labour you have no control once its started you have no choice but to ride it out. No safe words etc.

BTW if you have read some decent BDSM erotica I would not give 50 shades a read, its awfully written and the sex isn't even that erotic, there are hundreds of books way better out there. I found anyway. Might give your recommendation a go.

The 50 Shades aren't the best depiction of BDSM, I did know that. The BDSM "scenes" are very mild, but I look at BDSM as a personal experience that really can be different for everyone. Just since everyone has their own personal tastes and limits, whether they are relatively mild or extremely hardcore. I still enjoyed the books anyway. Not entirely sure why, just an odd ball thing for me I think; though they were easy to read. Haha

True, labor doesn't stop once it's started so it puts a different spin on the aspect. The experience with the matter might offer a little bit better understanding of pain and help with the management of the pain though.

 

[motherofboys]

I've heard of people who use focus to turn the pain of labour into something pleasurable with their DHs help and can actually orgasm while giving birth! If your in touch with your body and already able to associate pain with please and intense feelings that can help you.
I have to say I have never 'played' in the BDSM scene but even I find labour and birth to be exhilarating, and actually enjoy it.