**warning** Rant station!

[StarAngel]

Ok so I am a ftm and so everything is new, I am anxious, excited and petrified all at the same time... why do people insist on scare mongering? Telling me how difficult babies are and how hard it is to breast feed and not to breast feed. Commenting on my bump oh its small or ooh your gonna explode in 3rd trimester! And I had my gender scan recently and we have been told its a girl made me so happy... then people telling me "they couldve made a mistake could still be a boy" or "there could be another one in there" I am 22 weeks I think all this would have been cleared up! I get a little agitated with comments like this could be my hormones but am very intolerant to that kind of chatter. And all the negativity that goes with it. Anyone else?

 

[paintrider89]

Why do people insist of doing this to FTM? I got ALL of that. What i ened up with was a super amazing, easy going, good sleeping, BFing champ baby girl!! Werr there times I stressed some, and she cried to much for my nerves? Sure, but not to the extent people will make you believe. At almost 14 months old I think I have had 5 times where I just had to walk away frazzled. But that is life, work gets me more irritated than ANY child or baby I have ever known.

This time around the occasional 'your gonna have your hands full, 2 under 2' comment.

Just ignore or smile and say 'I've got this' let them know they cant shake your confidence in yourself.

And congrats on your bump.

 

[prettybirdy27]

No idea why, but once people find out someone is pregnant, it seems like they feel entitled to say whatever stupid thing comes into their head. Wish I understood this phenomenon. Seems like people do the same when you announce most any huge life event - I think part of it is just jealousy.

 

[Mississippi03]

Lol i think ive gotten pretty good at ignoring people.. Honestly ive heard soooo much of this i dont even acknowledge it when people talk anymore

 

[Rainstorm]

Unfortunately, it goes on after baby's born. Try not to get too worked up. People can be annoying

 

[jlw617]

Yes, not to be one of those crazy moms giving out more unsolicited advice haha! but it gets much worse once baby is born and everyone has something to say about Everything from diapering to bottles to everything else you can imagine but I agree it is incredibly annoying! Just learn the nod and smile and you'll do save yourself some stress

 

[jlw617]

Just like this haha!

 

[StaceyM]

Honestly, some of it is just people liking to give advice, but I've named the rest of it "mommy martyrdom" = the belief that your life is sooooooo hard after you have children, and that nothing else that anyone could ever endure could possibly be as hard or as satisfying as what a mother does! I think people use it to justify their own existence, and that they need us to agree to this premise since we will soon be mums. Honestly, I'm sure there are challenges and successes, things that are easy and things that are difficult, just like anything else we have ever done in our lives.

 

[Jessicahide]

Just smile and wave girls, smile and wave!

 

[Rainstorm]

Honestly, some of it is just people liking to give advice, but I've named the rest of it "mommy martyrdom" = the belief that your life is sooooooo hard after you have children, and that nothing else that anyone could ever endure could possibly be as hard or as satisfying as what a mother does! I think people use it to justify their own existence, and that they need us to agree to this premise since we will soon be mums. Honestly, I'm sure there are challenges and successes, things that are easy and things that are difficult, just like anything else we have ever done in our lives.

Yes! And also, I've had it with the "you'll see" threats. " Now it's easy cos he's a baby, but you'll see once he crawls" You'll see once he /walks/grabs/goes to kindergarden/has a sibling". Other parents have been threatening that our life WOULD get awful once baby hit a new milestone. Truth is, it hasn't. Some things obviously become more complicated. For instance, we went out for dinner with lo when he was 9, 10 months old because he would sit in the high chair and be entertained with a book. We no longer take him cos now he runs around and wants to touch everything. But our life is far from awful and we simply adjust to every new situation. Ayways, just take whatever advice you find useful and try to ignore the rest.

 

[tigerlilly]

Ok so I am a ftm and so everything is new, I am anxious, excited and petrified all at the same time... why do people insist on scare mongering? Telling me how difficult babies are and how hard it is to breast feed and not to breast feed. Commenting on my bump oh its small or ooh your gonna explode in 3rd trimester! And I had my gender scan recently and we have been told its a girl made me so happy... then people telling me "they couldve made a mistake could still be a boy" or "there could be another one in there" I am 22 weeks I think all this would have been cleared up! I get a little agitated with comments like this could be my hormones but am very intolerant to that kind of chatter. And all the negativity that goes with it. Anyone else?

Because frighting ftm's is a national sport! and is crazy. When ppl tell you what having kids is 'like' what their sharing is their experiences and their experiences alone. Yours will be unique to you it doesn't mean ur will be the same. Try to block them out and enjoy ur pregnancy and baby, congratulations

 

[Twag]

People have nothing better to say than to try and stress out or scare a pregnant women this is my conclusion anyway!
I had it with my first and I am getting it again now with the 2 under 2 comments etc!

I just ignore them smile & nod

Congratulations on team enjoy your pregnancy & baby girl once she arrives and makes you world an amazing one

 

[StarAngel]

Thanks ladies, am glad I am not alone in feeling that way thought it was all hormones! I cannot wait to have my lil girl here and really want to focus on the excitement of it all. I think its awful that ppl do that when they are aware of how a pregnant women needs to keep her stress levels to a minimum. Luckily tho I have a wonderful OH who reassures me ALOT and a doctor and mw who are very easy going and reassuring also. And I would be lost without this forum too☺

 

[AJae]

The worst i have had is from mums already. So horrid. No wonder i have only told our family, bosses and those that need to know.
I braved going to a local bumps network/pamper evening just to dip my toe in and see what it was like and i came away full of hatred. No way am i sharing any pregnancy news with our friends or people on the street now. I don't think it polite to punch anyone and you know i would the minute they open their stupid mouths.

Example:
Mummy with bump: "how many weeks are you then? Early days I suppose"
Me: 22/23
MwB: "my god, are you sure? You are stupidly tiny, maybe you got it wrong"

Later, same MWB: do you know what youre having?
Me: a little boy
MWB: oh i am sorry. It wont be much funfor you then.

Another mum with bump, same evening
MWB2: so what sort of birth are you planning?
Me: water hypno and at home
MwB2: ha ha ha ha, you can tell you are a first timer, we all want that but fat chance darling, you will be carted off to be hacked open just like the rest of us so kiss any hopes goodbye. God you have a lot to learn. And i can't believe you are so much older than me, too. Ha ha ha ha (walks off with her other smug mwb friend)


And my family wonder why i have absolutely no interest in going to these sh1tty mum/mum to be networking events. Thought we were meant to help each other. Well balls to them!!!

 

[StaceyM]

OMG. I'm laughing so hard AJae that you actually named them MwB and MwB2 in your dialogue. It's like a horrible, tacky school play.

 

[StarAngel]

Omg Ajae they sound horrid, I hate that condescending attitude and smugness. You did well to hold back not sure that I could!

 

[AJae]

They were lucky it was a pamper evening... I ws chilled after a reflexology session, pilates class and a massage! Lol. Hormones were very Zen at the time.

 

[Rainstorm]

Ajae the least you could do is give them the finger! LOL awful people...

 

[jlw617]

Oh my word! That sounds like tons of fun (sarcasm intended)

 

[Joeyzgirl]

Worst thing is when you actually need advice or help, no one opens their mouth at all. This is my fourth, I try not to do that but I can't say I don't give unsolicited advice. I do want to say though, my first was a cake walk and my second is ornery ... she is something else. Everything is day by day and when people start in, jus tell them, "we will learn as we go, now bug of""