Was your OH excited to TTC?

[prettybirdy27]

We are about three weeks out from our TTC date. We made the decision about three months ago to start trying on Oct 12. At first, my husband seemed excited - he even wanted to pick out cribs and such, and he was super eager to hammer out all the details like how we will teach religion, etc etc. But as we are getting closer, his excitement seems to be waning. He has gone from saying "I'm ready for a baby" to saying "Well I could go either way" like we're trying to decide what to have for dinner. He'll still talk about childrearing things if I bring them up, but will usually change the conversation.

Last night we were watching a show in which the couple was trying, and the husband was positively over the moon. My husband started groaning and rolling his eyes. I said something along the lines of "I wish you were more excited about trying for a baby" and he shrugged and turned back to watching tv without saying a word.

I really think it's just a normal case of cold feet since it's a huge life change, but it's starting to get really discouraging. Is/did your OH ever get this way about trying?

 

[MrsHudson]

Aww that stinks! I think like you said, he's getting cold feet. It's a huge responsibility and maybe he's feeling the pressure of it. If your OH is like mine, then I could see him feeling like they have to step it up and take care of a family and not just you. Men don't see these things like we do, in that they're always guarded and feel like they have to be the providers. Adding a LO into that is stressful!

In my case, we're NTNP (well we're using the pull out method) and he couldn't be more excited to get me pregnant lol. But he is a rare case, and with our age difference has been waiting awhile.

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

He was excited to DTD more often, but that was about it. I was the one that wanted to start trying, so he agreed with me that now was the time. He was wonderful during the pregnancy though, and made it to every pregnancy related appointment. And he adores his little girl! So I didn't mind his lack of interest in the conceiving part.

This time around he's made some comments, but we've both been laid back about it. If it happens, it happens... if not, we're both in love with the one we already have!

 

[mommyB]

My hubby was not excited about TTC. Actually it was quite stressful. I hated saying, it's time. Or we have to DTD tonight. He didn't like the agenda of having sex. But we got BfPs first cycle both times, so it worked. But this time it will hopefully not be like that.

 

[Buffyx]

I know my DH will be super helpful and excited during the pregnancy, and an awesome dad. He's just not interested in discussing the TTC part at all.

 

[aidensxmomma]

I can't speak for my current OH since he's not close to being ready to try yet, but I can say about my ex, who I had three kids with.

He was never interested in the TTC part of it. He was happy once I was pregnant and super excited once our kids were born, but he could of cared less about TTC. There were times when he would be excited and plan some things with me (like names) but that wasn't the norm.

Maybe your OH is just getting nervous about the big life change coming up.

 

[prettybirdy27]

This morning, while we were eating breakfast, he turned to me and said "Do you know the proper way to transport a severed thumb to the hospital?"

I was taken aback, but I gave him an answer. He responded with "Good, I wanted to make sure you know how to handle that in case our child accidentally cuts their thumb off."

Strange thing to ask, but at least it let me know that he's still actively thinking about having a baby!

 

[MrsHudson]

Aww see! I love how men can say something cute and gross at the same time lol.

 

[CantHrdlyWait]

My DH and I decided we would TTC after we got married.. so the first cycle, I didn't tell him anything, not when I was ovulating, and I didn't say anything like "it's time to TTC!" We just DTD WAY more normal, and he was happy about it. Needless to say, I got pregnant the very first cycle, and he became very UNhappy about the lack of sex once I got pregnant. I think men just don't want to talk about it, and think "this is going to make a baby!" too much stress for them.

 

[kksy9b]

My DH was not happy/excited about it at all. He was fine once we got pregnant and over the moon once DS was here. It's so different for guys than girls...but once your LO is here, he will be super excited and involved. I hope that your TTC journey is a short one!

 

[hanni]

Reality is, unless you're lucky enough to fall pregnant on your first cycle, most of the time TTC is not fun, not exciting and seriously stressful. It's one hell of an emotional rollercoaster and can be a long one too.

Men generally don't want to know about it, my partner certainly didn't. (That's why you have us bnb ladies!) It puts them under pressure. After the first cycle or so my OH didn't want to know any of the details and wanted to just "let it happen". Not possible for us women of course, we just cant switch off from it like that. I had to hide it from him and just jump on him during the important dates. So don't be upset if he doesn't seem to be excited, he's probably just more anxious right now.

Best of luck for trying! I hope it happens nice and quickly for you.

 

[Khadijah-x]

Yes he is he doesn't open much but he does come out with little one liners like

'I can't wait for you to make me a daddy' and 'I can't wait for you to mother my children'

He's excited too.. but this is something I have wanted for many many years! It's what he's wanted since he met me x

 

[stiletto_mom]

Hubby coos at our cats more often telling them that they will make great siblings... bahahaha.

 

[Emiloo]

I think WTT and TTC would be SOOO much easier if they were excited for it! But nooo. Mine isnt looking forward to it- he thinks with his head to much about money and the stress of it all. However he is the closest hes ever been to being ready!!

 

[Bubbles1088]

My DH goes back and forth. One day, he's excited, the next he's scared, and the next he's excited again. He definitely does want to have kids soon though. It is discouraging to me sometimes because I am the "over the moon" excited one right now, and his excitement doesn't meet mine because he has a healthy does of fear added into it. We don't have an official date to start TTC yet, but (if I have it my way ) We will be TTC before the year ends/the beginning of next year. He agreed with me that he doesn't want to wait over a year either.

 

[KalonKiki]

My DF never got excited the first time around because he didn't have a chance to, DS was unplanned. However this time he says that he does want another but has goals to complete first before we start trying. Have you tried asking your DF if there is anything that he wants to do before TTC? If he doesn't seem as excited as you would like him to be, ask him why he isn't excited. If you show that you care about his thoughts and opinions on the matter then he might more willing to open up to you. As women we are unfortunately often times guilty of not really giving our partners an opinion in the matter, we want a baby and it's going to happen. Men can often times feel forced and it makes them uncomfortable feeling like their opinion doesn't matter at all.

 

[Catalyst]

yes mine was kind of like this.
We decited about 6 months before. In like april/mai he started to sound like yours, unsure about this and so on. I finally asked if he was canceling our plans he said no but.. then we talked real good and I found out the real reason. He was kind of panicking since the big day was coming and it was geting more real. He was afraid that when the baby came he wouldnt know what to do, didnt know how to change diper, how to dress them and so on.
We talked some more and I told him that my parents and his didnt knew either when they had their first and he and his siblings turned out fine and we did too. This would come with the experience and he would learn. I told him that when my mum had brought me home she started to cry because she didnt know what to do, didn know how to do things. She learned and she is a very good mum
So id reasured him and he was calmer and got excited again, he was all in in the TTC following my cycle and so on.
We had another 2,5 year after the first.
Now the talk is like, maby no maby no, maby no.. about having the third. He says things like "this needs to be like this when the third comes along" then if the boys are badbehaving saying "and you want another?" or " I dont want more kids. But i cant get myself to get rid of baby stuff hehe

 

[prettybirdy27]

Since I started this thread, we have officially started TTC, and OH is over the moon. He seems to be walking with an extra spring in his step, and talks about babies constantly. I'm really glad for that!

He's excited for the extra nooky right now too. We aren't doing any temping or tracking or anything like that yet, so it's really low-stress. If we don't get pregnant within six months, I'll start tracking and temping and I feel like it will get more stressful, but we'll cross that bridge when (if!) we come to it.

However, we would really like to try for a girl - anyone have any tips or tricks?

 

[KalonKiki]

If you want a girl then you're going to have to track and temp, timing is pretty crucial. pH levels are the biggest factor though, so diet is more important than timing as timing varies from woman to woman. Unfortunately it's hard to tell which timing will work for you if you've never had a baby before and don't know how close you were to O when you conceived. I conceived my son either the day of or day before O, I'm certain. So Shettles would probably work better for me for a girl, but O+12 works better for other women. Honestly I wouldn't try to gender sway for your first baby, you might get a girl anyway even if you don't try for one and you might get a boy even if you try for a girl. I promise that baby boys are just as fun and there are lots of cute boys things to buy. Just relax and focus on a healthy baby for this pregnancy, you can worry about gender swaying later if you don't get a girl this time. That is unless you only plan to have one child. As I said though, it's difficult to tell which sway method will work for you if it's your first baby and you have nothing to go on. When I sway I plan to do the girl diet and supplements and just BD from 5 days before O up until the OPK turns positive and then stop BDing and do a lot of praying for a healthy girl. Then repeat the process each cycle until pregnant. DF will do the diet and take the supplements too, I'm going to have to tell him to stop drinking coffee at work.

 

[Kirsty3051]

OH was SO excited to start TTC but I'm 90% sure it was only because he'd been told in the November that I wanted to wait 5-6 months (always wanting what he can't have!), and he obviously thought he'd get a little more . We conceived on our first cycle and basically, he now thinks he's some sort of superhero that produces magical sperm. Lord give me strength.

He wants to start trying for #2 when #1 is a few months old (hope he's not holding his breath) so I'm guessing he enjoyed the experience haha xx