Weight ?

[Waiting2bMommy]

Not sure if this is the right place for this but I have a step son who is 5. We have an okay relationship with my husbands ex-wife, but my husband has a big problem with talking to her about things that are concerning him about his son cause he is always afraid she will get mad and if they start fighting it always turns really nasty. Anyway, my stepson is 45 inches tall and his mom called to tell us she took him to the doctor and he is 69lbs. The doctor is concerned but she says she isn't. I don't really know that much about children's weight but he hasn't gained any height and has gained quite a bit of weight lately. We had him for a month and he told us he eats ihop and mcdonalds every week. Which i'm not judging but I am worried about him. When he left us he was 61 lbs (I had him weighed) He looked really great he and I would go on walks every day and the park and he was eating really well here. But in one month and 15 days he has gained 8 lbs and that seems excessive but again I don't know if that is or not. So was wondering what your opinions are on his weight and if its normal and if it's not how we should broach the subject with his mother... Thanks in advance!

 

[JASMAK]

My son is 8 and weighs 60lbs. You can google children's BMI and put in the height and weight. No idea to approach the mother as this is her child and really, as much as I think, and perhaps many here think, that she shouldn't feed her child crap...that is really her choice.

 

[Waiting2bMommy]

I understand it's her child so of course im not the one who would talk to her but it is my husbands child also and since she is having a larger portion of custody he feels she should be taking care of him better or we will take her back to court, his health is of the upmost importance to us. We will like to try to talk to her first before taking further action. If the doctor is concerned I can't see why she doesn't see it as important. But I do see what your saying. I will look that up online thanks

 

[Vixen_17]

Ooh this is a toughie. My nephew is 10 and is obese. His mother is obese. She thinks it's perfectly acceptable for him to take a day off school in winter and for them to snuggle up on the sofa eating doritos and dips and all other sorts of rubbish all day long.

If the mother is unapproachable then I can't really see that there's too much you can do about her. All you can do is make sure that when he's with you that he eats sensibly and gets good exercise, just as you already have been doing. The only other thing I would suggest is that you do your best to educate him as to what are healthy foods and what are unhealthy. My son is 9 and understands the difference. He knows that his meals (and packed lunches) have to be balanced - something "bad" and something "good". Hopefully if you're arming your step son with knowledge he will be able to make the correct decisions when it comes to food as he gets older. If he doesn't know, he can't change it.

Hope this helps a little. Good luck.

V
-x-

 

[mommyof3co]

IMO that is excessive. Granted I have super skinny kids but my 8yr old hasn't gained 8lbs over the past 2yrs. He does seem quite heavy, but again I'm used to my kids. My 6yr old is a bit taller than him, maybe an inch? And weighs 43lbs. My 8yr old is like 50-51in and 52lbs. Does he play sports or do anything active like that?

 

[Waiting2bMommy]

Well the thing is... he is getting in trouble a school cause he flat refuses to play P.E. or recess and all the sports we have paid for him to do that she said he wanted he dropped out within 2 weeks- a month. She doesn't force him to stay if he doesn't like it but I don't know how its possible to hate everything as we have tried it all from karate- to swimming to football and everything in between.

 

[Waiting2bMommy]

I'm not so much worried that he is big but the doctor said he is obese and with diabetes and stuff that's very scary for a 5 year old. The fact that he can eat as much as my husband who is a 6'7 bodybuilder is a little nuts. I've never had to cut a kid off and i'm a teacher, so i've seen lots of kids and that for me was a first. When he first got to us he literally out ate my husband and I knew something wasn't right.

 

[mommyof3co]

I would be concerned too. My guess would be he doesn't want to participate in PE because he tires easily and can't keep up with the other kids because of that extra weight. I think something should be done. Most kids that age do fine in PE because the entire class is participating. Does he express interest in any sports or do yall just sign him up for things because he needs to be active? We have a rule in our house (which would be hard to enforce since he lives with his mom but maybe yall can sit down and really talk about it?) if you say you want to do a sport and we sign you up that is a commitment, you will go to practice and games and you will finish out the season, you will not be allowed to let your team down and quit. But we don't force them to do things they don't want to do but if they choose to they are going to do it.

 

[Waiting2bMommy]

That was our rule, we have never forced him, he told his mom he wanted to do it so she would find it and we would pay for him to do it. But we told her he had to finish out each thing if we were going to put the money up for it. Swimming he didn't drop out but he would only sit on the side and not participate cause he didn't like the water in his face. Football he didn't like cause he didn't like to run so we paid and he never went. Baseball he never really played cause they said he was a lefty and it was 'too hard'. He didn't like karate and would sit while the other kids did it so he didn't technically quit that just chose to not participate and sit on the sidelines. Eventually his mom pulled him because the teacher said he needed to stop eating before coming to class as his uniform had stains I think and also that his belt didn't fit him and the instructor suggested getting a little more exercise... so as you can imagine that didn't go down well... I'm just at a loss but I do know his health is in danger and his mom just doesn't seem to care.

 

[seoj]

That is so tough hun... unfortunately, it sounds like she has had more than enough people "warn" her or advise that maybe her son needs more exercise etc... and it's falling on def ears. If she has custody more of the time- then truly, there isn't going to be much you can do (least while he is in her care)- even if your hubby voiced his concerns, there is no control over what she does with her son. It's incredibly frustrating I'm sure. As you only want whats best for him.

All you can do is your best to encourage him to eat well and be active while his is with you... and maybe, as he matures and he'll be more apt to do those things on his own. Regardless of his mom's influence... ???

We battle the teachings our kid get's while she is with her mom- and she only see's her 2 weekends a month!!! I know she doesn't eat as well over there and I know her mother encourages her to lie to us etc... long story. But she is also 14 now- and can think more for herself and doesn't allow what her mom tells her to sink in so much. Thankfully!!!! But when she was younger, it was really tough at times.

I would for sure discuss more with your DH and see if he feels anything he says to his ex might help? I can't hurt to try- even though she may explode- as least you guys did all you could. Not sure what other options you have... just keep doing right by your SS when you have him and wishing you all the best!

 

[Waiting2bMommy]

Thanks Ladies,

We will do our best to encourage him, but yes it will be hard as he is only 5 and not old enough to prepare food himself. She called the other night and apparently he got mad at her for not making food "from scratch". She was trying to make him something out of a jar and he said thats NOT okay and he only likes homemade stuff. (I make most everything home-made or organic if I can as I stay home.) So maybe something is rubbing off? I guess only time will tell. Hopefully as he gets older he can learn good eating habits.

 

[RachA]

For his age and height he does weigh way too much.

I don't really know how to approach it - is it possible for your husband to be the one to take him to the doctors and take it from there?

 

[Waiting2bMommy]

For his age and height he does weigh way too much.

I don't really know how to approach it - is it possible for your husband to be the one to take him to the doctors and take it from there?

Sadly we live in two different states and per our insurance she has it for her state cause she is his primary parent. Nothing we can do to change that unless we take full custody

 

[RachA]

Oh that's tough. If he's getting an awareness of healthy eating at yours that may help.

If the doctor is saying that he's overweight, why do you think she's ignoring the advise? Is she overweight herself?

 

[Waiting2bMommy]

Oh that's tough. If he's getting an awareness of healthy eating at yours that may help.

If the doctor is saying that he's overweight, why do you think she's ignoring the advise? Is she overweight herself?

I have no idea why she would jeopardize her sons health. But yes she is over-weight quite heavily. She hasn't always been though she used to be skinny but has put on over 100 pounds. Not sure if she is scorning the doctors advice because she is tired of hearing it or what. A few people have commented to her on his weight, so maybe she took offense to the doctor saying it too. I'm not sure.

 

[steffi2]

My daughter just turned 7 and she is 82 lbs. She is tall for her age....the tallest in her first grade batch...200 in all. I think her weight is in proportion to her height. She doesn't look fat. You can check out your son's weight as compared to other kids his age if you google weight and height percentiles for children.