So, I have an ultrasound scheduled for next Monday. We'll find out if we're having our first daughter or our fifth son. This is definitely our last baby so it's our last chance at having a girl. My emotions have been all over the place with this pregnancy. We didn't plan it and I really thought we were done. I went though the gender disappointment years ago and was over it. After I got used to the idea of having another baby I found I was feeling desperate for a girl. I kept thinking, "This pregnancy will be worth it if it's a girl. I don't want another boy." Terrible, I know. I don't feel that way now. Honestly, since I started feeling the baby kick I've become excited about being pregnant and having another one, boy or girl. I still really want it to be a girl though.
I don't know why I want a girl so badly. My relationship with my own mom isn't great. And a lot of my friends have poor relationships with their moms. My mom has never truly listened to me and she doesn't validate my feelings. My thoughts and feelings are only acceptable to her when they coincide with her thoughts and feelings. She can be very passive aggressive too when she gets mad at me. And she get's mad at me for unfair reasons. So why do I want a girl? I was talking about it with my husband and he said a woman only has two chances at a good mother/daughter relationship. First with her mother and then with her daughter, if she has one. So maybe that's it. Maybe I want the chance to have a healthy relationship with my own daughter.
So, in a nutshell that's my story. I've felt a lot of anxiety not knowing what the baby is. I think I'll feel a lot better once we find out. I'll still need some time to get over it if it is another boy but I also know that I will get over it. I did before and will again. I'll be sure to update when we find out. Take care everyone and thanks for reading!
I don't know why I want a girl so badly. My relationship with my own mom isn't great. And a lot of my friends have poor relationships with their moms. My mom has never truly listened to me and she doesn't validate my feelings. My thoughts and feelings are only acceptable to her when they coincide with her thoughts and feelings. She can be very passive aggressive too when she gets mad at me. And she get's mad at me for unfair reasons. So why do I want a girl? I was talking about it with my husband and he said a woman only has two chances at a good mother/daughter relationship. First with her mother and then with her daughter, if she has one. So maybe that's it. Maybe I want the chance to have a healthy relationship with my own daughter.
So, in a nutshell that's my story. I've felt a lot of anxiety not knowing what the baby is. I think I'll feel a lot better once we find out. I'll still need some time to get over it if it is another boy but I also know that I will get over it. I did before and will again. I'll be sure to update when we find out. Take care everyone and thanks for reading!