Well, my mum hates me atm....

[xCookieDoughx]

So basically mine and my mums relationship has been rocky lately as she doesn't like my hubby and I don't like her boyfriend. (Although I have a reason as he threatened her with a knife while drunk and she called the police! Then took him back!!!) So basically I've told her that my
2 year old won't be going to her house while he is there and he isn't welcome here!

But, I told her today that I'm pregnant. And her reaction was awful! She started ranting on and on about my weight (I am about 18 stone) and how the baby is going to suffer etc etc. and about how my OH is useless (he's not, just a typical man) and how dare I tell other people before her etc etc etc! Not one word of happiness that she was having another grandchild or anything! I deliberately put off telling her as I knew her reaction would be bad.
Her bf has a massive influence over her and her way of thinking and speaking. She's a completely different person since she met him 2 years ago. I know when he's had his input on something by the way she talks.

All I wanted was for my mum to be happy for me I know my weight is an issue, and I did want to lose weight before we had another baby but the time was just right. I've got help to do so now anyway. I'm just sad as I feel like I've completely lost my mum.

 

[k4th]

I didn't want to r&r

Sorry you're mum is being so unreasonable. She's totally out of line. You have every right to be thrilled with your pregnancy & expect other people to be happy for you.

 

[Sarah1508]

what a horrible situation :/ ive never had a situation like that but I can sympathise with the weight thing, I gained a hell of a lot of weight with my last pregnancy going from a uk size 8 to size 18 and only managing to go back down to a size 16 , but I have discussed it with my midwife already and she didn't see it as a problem at all she said I would have to be a hell of a lot bigger to cause any problems but if I wanted she would refer me to a dietician so u could feel better about myself and body image, so I would say as you are probably about the same size as me aswel I wouldn't worry about that part! As for your mums negativity I don't know what other advice I can give you apart from try ignore it as much as possible, I know my big sister was very negative about my first pregnancy and told me to "get rid of it" I was only 18 when I fell pregnant so I wasn't expecting everyone to be over the moon but the way she acted was just uncalled for , she did eventually come round though but she did end up overall putting a whole downer on my pregnancy :/ she's not happy again this time round as again I am only 21 and she thinks I should be living my life different and not setteling down having kids , she's even cut me out of her life and her and her family are coming up for Christmas to my mums so that should be interesting! Haha but I am going to try my hardest to not let a downer be put in this pregnancy because it's not fair! A new life being brought into the world should be a happy time so I'm not letting anything or anyone ruin it this time round and I think you should try the same as hard as it is when it's someone so close! Just try stay strong and focus on the possitives then hopefully that will overshadow any negatives

 

[bundle4me]

So sorry your going thru this. My mum hasn't really acknowledged my pregnancy either I'm not sure why and i got a congrats thru gritted teeth and she doesn't ever talk about it. Parents can be a pain sometimes. I'm the same with the weight issue too im about 15-16st and i hate it but when the time is right you can't let that hold you back. Good luck and happy healthy 9months x

 

[lusterleaf]

I am so sorry. I know it must hurt to have your own mother not happy for you and your pregnancy. This is one of my fears too. I have a 2 year old DS with special needs and I'm pregnant with my second, and I'm so afraid to tell my own mother because I believe she will react negatively toward this since my first is special needs.

 

[tryn4]

I'm fat as hell girl! I'm a u.s size 20 22...All my pregnancies were healthy and normal. I've had 5 kids..pregnant with sixth. I also have had a rocky relationship with my mother but lately we were bonding. I felt she us always so excited to see my youngest daughter so I told her I'm pregnant. BIG MISTAKE. Literally her exact words were "omg u better have an abortion your not young the baby will have downs syndrome " needless to say I hung up the phone and haven't spoken to her since. No one can tell you what to do or steal your shine. Not even a mother. I know is upsetting because we always want that bond but maybe just try to forgive her for her ignorance or move forward without her.

 

[pgfairy]

Sheesh. I don't condone what you mother said to you in anyway and I agree with all the pp. It's such a shame for you to have to feel this way because she can't look beyond herself and be happy for you. So sorry you had to go through this You deserve to have your mother be happy for you no matter what.

You really only get one chance to respond to the news of a new grandchild and how can you look back on that and NOT feel like you blew it?

 

[tryn4]

Sheesh. I don't condone what you mother said to you in anyway and I agree with all the pp. It's such a shame for you to have to feel this way because she can't look beyond herself and be happy for you. So sorry you had to go through this You deserve to have your mother be happy for you no matter what.

You really only get one chance to respond to the news of a new grandchild and how can you look back on that and NOT feel like you blew it?

Your last sentence pretty much sums up how my mom is probably feeling as I've received several texts of how sorry she is but I mean y tge heck was THAT your knee jerk statement?

 

[Nicole_E]

I'm sorry, I don't have any advice, but I didn't want to r&r so here is my biggest for you

 

[xCookieDoughx]

Thanks everyone I am just so angry at how she reacted! She could have said she was happy for me etc and then gone off and vented alone like everyone else does!

I know it's only psychological but since that all happened this morning my sickness seems a bit better and I have small pains in my lower abdomen now I'm worried something is wrong!

 

[bundle4me]

You will be fine try your best to relax x