What a Stupid B-Word *Share your unforgivable b-word moments!

[Myshelsong]

I just got off of the phone with an old friend and it took everything in my soul not to scream at her and throw the phone away. Why you ask, well I will tell you.

She text's me that she has some news she wants to share with me. She calls and we start chit chatting.

She say: What is new, is there any baby news?

I say: Still no baby news but that is ok because we are being positive and going to the drs and yadda yadda What is your news?

She says: Well so We got engaged in September and decided we were going to go and get married in Mexcio in April just the two of us because i dont want to spend the money, and I was really excited but now that can't happen.

I say: Why not?

She says: Because we are going to have a baby. So now we have to get married at city hall.

I say: Well congratulations that is so exciting for you. You didnt think you were going to be able to have children (she was told by drs wont be able to have kids).

She says: Yeah I know, but I am so upset because we wont be able to go to Mexico now. It ruins every thing, I am so disappointed, I was really looking forward to getting drunk everyday and being stupid and now I wont be able to have any fun.

What the hell is she thinking!! I just told her that we have been trying for what feels like forever and that I really want a baby and in the next breath she is complaining that she is pregnant. What a B-Word!

Share your story

 

[blackclayrose]

Never ever wanted kids of her own, My SIL is due to have baby no.2 in April.
This is what we got told when we asked why she deceided to have kis now, "Well we didn't buy a business, so I guess we are going to have a baby instead."
And this is what we we told with baby no.2, "I am so bored at home, we thought we would have baby 2 and get them out of the way, so I can go back to work."

So in 6 months i am guessing daycare will be raising her 2 babies.

 

[PinkPeony]

Was talking to some "friends" about our troubles. Retrospect shouldn't have bothered to tell them bc there has been zero sympathy or support. "Friend" goes - well I know that won't happen to us bc DH is so good at everything he does.

Seriously?...

 

[ces2008]

My cousin, who has 5 kids, is always complaining about them. Then, she says to me, I'm fertile Mertile and I just let nature run its course. You prob arent really ready and that's why you havnt gotten pregnant. I hate when she talks about her easy times getting pregnant!

 

[jenwantsababy]

i am soooooo tired of people telling me that if i "stop thinking about it" it will happen. i finally poured my heart out last night to a friend who i had been keeping it from for the past 14 months (my husband doesn't want us to tell anyone we're trying, which is getting harder the longer time goes on). she was like, "well, if you don't think about it so much..." which was SO frustrating because i have never even said anything to her before about wanting a baby (and I really do, if you can't tell from my screenname). i dropped the subject immediately, which was tough, because obviously the only reason why i said anything to her was because i needed someone to talk to in the first place.


regarding the comment earlier about daycare raising the babies, if and when it finally happens, i would love to stay at home, but unfortunately won't be able to, even though my husband is a doctor (we would have to move). i will hopefully be able to be a sahm for eight months, but would then have to go back to work and bring the child there (i'm a teacher). that said, your friend's attitude about it totally sucks! it was really insensitive for her to speak to you about it that way.

 

[Myshelsong]

Never ever wanted kids of her own, My SIL is due to have baby no.2 in April.
This is what we got told when we asked why she deceided to have kis now, "Well we didn't buy a business, so I guess we are going to have a baby instead."
And this is what we we told with baby no.2, "I am so bored at home, we thought we would have baby 2 and get them out of the way, so I can go back to work."

So in 6 months i am guessing daycare will be raising her 2 babies.

If people don't want children they shouldn't have them just because they are bored. That really sucks I am sorry you have to hear her go on about that. What a B!

 

[Myshelsong]

My cousin, who has 5 kids, is always complaining about them. Then, she says to me, I'm fertile Mertile and I just let nature run its course. You prob arent really ready and that's why you havnt gotten pregnant. I hate when she talks about her easy times getting pregnant!

You aren't really ready! I would have just blown my lid. Either that our broke down crying right in front of her on purpose do that she could see how much she just shattered me.

 

[Rainstorm]

I have friends who are like "I'm getting married in October, husband wants a kid now, but I dont want to get married with a bump, I dont want to be fat for my wedding!" or..."I'll probably be pregnant this time next year"...
How can you be so sure??? I mean, they're my friends and I want them to be happy and have babies, but you just don't know how fast it will happen for you... It makes me mad thay they are so self-assured... and that they consider pregnancy as a mechanical thing in their lives rather than making an actual human being

 

[blackclayrose]

jenwantsababy,

I didn't mean to offend you. I do realise a lot of families can not afford to live on one wage and mums need to go back to work, but my SILs hubby makes a good living and they can afford her to be a SAHM, she just doesn't want to.

 

[HearMyPrayers]

my "what a B moment" is when my cousin same age as me gets pregnant she already has 2 boys from a previous relationship and her DH has a daughter from a previous relatipnship so this is their first baby together, anyways she is pregnant and on FB does some BS guessing game a day before her ultrasound so everyone can guess the sex of the baby....she was convinced it was a girl and just "knew it!" so of course everyone followed suit and said girl. The next day she puts on FB...."well its a boy no girl" EVERYONE was like OMG I'm so sorry or sweetie I know your upsets blah blah blah...THEN she actually writes! "I've been crying all morning I wanted a girl so bad but DH says we can try again till its a girl!"I wanted to just blast her and be like do just disregard your child because its not the sex you want and to actually cry over it!! come on!! she had to know it was a 50/50 chance that it was either sex!! so annoying!

 

[HearMyPrayers]

wait I have 2 "what a B moments" LMAO!

My 27 yr old brother gets his 23 yrs old girlfriend pregnant last week they announce it, everyone in my family knows what my DH and I are going through with the surgeries, medications, appoinments, procedures etc...anyways my step mother says OMG I KNEW IT!! I KNEW YOU'D BE THE NEXT ONES TO GET PREGNANT!!! Really!! REAAAALLLLLYYYY! You just knew they would be pregnant next seeing as they have only been together 9 months!!! Shows the little faith she has in path my DH and I have to follow to make a baby!! what a B!!

 

[rainski]

Ugh. Mine comes from my SIL.
Her and my fiance were in the car talking.
She has a 15 month old daughter (got pregnant the first time she had sex with her now fiance).. She always is dropping the baby off at her parents house on weekends so she can go out and party and things...
She doesn't have a g.e.d. or high school diploma.
Just got a new house loan.
Just got a new car loan.
Got a loan to buy a DOG. A DOG for crying out loud..
Was borrowing money every week from mom and dad BEFORE all of this...
And is now again "accidentally" pregnant with her 2nd..
And has the nerve to tell my fiance, "You two need to stop trying to have a baby. You don't need one right now.."
Need one? As if she does?! Or as if a child is an animal?!?

WHAT A B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Myshelsong]

Hearmyprayers - What a horrible thing to say, as if she totally thought that. Maybe she meant something like "I knew you guys would be irresponsible in your birth control" But corrected herself before she said it ... maybe i am a b, but that is what i would have been thinking.

Rainski - That truly sucks, all of it. It doesnt seem fair at all that some women who dont even try or even really want another child in their life can get knocked up and then turn decide to give us advice about waiting.
Maybe they shouldhave taken there wn advise and adopted a dog from the pound.

Omg i am so angry today. Anyone want me to call someone and yell at them for you? I have free long distance dont worry about my phone bill

 

[rainski]

hehe. that sounds like too much fun.

 

[HearMyPrayers]

Hearmyprayers - What a horrible thing to say, as if she totally thought that. Maybe she meant something like "I knew you guys would be irresponsible in your birth control" But corrected herself before she said it ... maybe i am a b, but that is what i would have been thinking.

Rainski - That truly sucks, all of it. It doesnt seem fair at all that some women who dont even try or even really want another child in their life can get knocked up and then turn decide to give us advice about waiting.
Maybe they shouldhave taken there wn advise and adopted a dog from the pound.

Omg i am so angry today. Anyone want me to call someone and yell at them for you? I have free long distance dont worry about my phone bill

I would have thought that too but seeing how excited they were it was almost like they were holding out hope for it to happen and within minutes my father was telling EVERYONE in the family! I'm sure its just jealousy mixed with some envy with a dash of annoyance on my part lol!!

Hmmm....I have a few people you could call and off load your anger too ha ha!!

 

[CaliDreaming]

i am soooooo tired of people telling me that if i "stop thinking about it" it will happen. i finally poured my heart out last night to a friend who i had been keeping it from for the past 14 months (my husband doesn't want us to tell anyone we're trying, which is getting harder the longer time goes on). she was like, "well, if you don't think about it so much..." which was SO frustrating because i have never even said anything to her before about wanting a baby (and I really do, if you can't tell from my screenname). i dropped the subject immediately, which was tough, because obviously the only reason why i said anything to her was because i needed someone to talk to in the first place.

.

Ewww, I hate it when people say that. What I really hate is that they think the fact that they were able to get pregnant makes them some sort of expert. I was very relaxed my first few months of trying, and nothing happened those months--so much for that theory! Also, what about all those people who were NTNP for years before they started getting worried.

Another thing I hate is when people say "Everything happens for a reason". I know people think it's a really deep quote, but what does that mean when you say that to someone who has been through something bad and tragic? To me it means that they think I somehow deserved what I'm going through, or that God felt I needed to suffer to get the good things that everyone else gets without having to suffer or that God doesn't hear my prayers.

IMO there's a difference between making the best out of a bad situation and believing that bad things had to happen in order to make way for the good. I feel better feeling like my IF was just bad luck instead of due to some weird cosmic karma fate thing.

 

[Myshelsong]

We should be allowed one free smack across the face to everyone that gives advice but had never experienced the pain of lttc.
That would make me much more relaxed.

 

[wellsk]

People say such ridiculous things sometimes. I hate the whole 'relax and it will happen'...
So, you're telling me that women in warzones and at times of national disasters don't get pregnant?! They're obviously gonna be stressed right?!

No matter how many times someone says 'relax', if you have infertility... your body suddenly isn't going to wake up and go 'ooo, they're right!'... You wouldn't say 'relax, it'll cure your cancer/broken leg/diabetes'... so why is 'relax' applied to TTC?!

The one I hate, and I get a lot of 'you're young, you don't need a baby'/'you're young, you've got plenty of time'... okay, I get that bit... but do they think it's going to make it hurt less?! I'm suffering as much as the next person regardless of whether they're in their 20s, 30s, 40s!

 

[sixtwelve09]

I had this "friend" (who I don't speak to anymore) call me up one day to tell me she was pregnant accidentally. Not only that, but she was 16 weeks along and hadn't gone to a single obgyn apt b/c she was in "denial." Are you kidding me? Get your @ss to the doctor! She now has three accidental children, from three different men whom have nothing to do with her or the kids, and she flat out gave them to her mother and told me not to have another one b/c "kids ruin your life" No honey, YOU ruined your own life, thank god the kids are with her mom so she can't ruin theirs too. ugh what a loser.

 

[mindyb85]

Omg I have soooo many of these moments. After more than 3.5 years ntnp/ltttc with several heartbreaking cps, losing weight to beat pcos symptoms and trying clomid 7 times as well I have emotionally beat the crap out of myself. Sometimes I'm ok now but then a stupid huggies commercial will come on (you know the one with the preggo test) and i
lose it. Well one of the biggest b moments of my life comes from a "friend" I had for 20 years. She has 5 kids. The first four with now exhusband and the fifth with a different Guy while she was still married. She texted me, "oh God I'm so stupid. I'm pregnant again." Then we get to talking because I'm trying to console her,the whole while she very well know my IF struggles, and she gets this idea and asks me if I want to adopt the baby because she CANT handle another one. She even texted me, "maybe this is God's way of giving you a baby." Well I talked with dh and he said if it worked out he would want to adopt because it would be a much better situation for the baby. Well I agreed and told we would. Well then she talks to baby-daddy (who has two other kids from two other women) and he said no to the adoption idea. He said you are either going to keep it or *the other thing*. THE NERVE!! So because she LIKED this POS she completely backed out of everything. I was crushed because now I had been fantasizing about my baby, even tho I know I shouldn't have. Even dh told me not to get my hopes up. So me and her had a falling out and didn't talk for a while. The baby was born, it was a boy, and i still thought about him a lot. Well about a month later I get a phone call from her crying her eyes out and apologizing for being so nasty to me (part of the reason we had a falling out) . Apparently her husband at the time was abusive and baby daddy hadn't been around for anything accept after the birth (which she PAID for him to come to it, he lives in another state. So, being the person I am and because I really love her kids, (her oldest is actually my goddaughter) I decide to help her out. She ended up moving across the street from dh and i with all the kids. Things were fine for a while and we had the kids over all the time which was actually a lot of fun to have laghter and happiness in the house for awhile. I would visit her to give a shoulder to cry on and I SWEAR all she did was complain about this beautiful baby boy that had my heart from 6 weeks in the womb. And i would be soooo upset because all I knew was loss and devastation of ltttc which she never took into account when going on about her own "mistakes". She said she could handle 4 but NOT FIVE. SHE EVEN STILL TALKED ABOUT GIVING HIM UP MONTHS AFTER HE WAS BORN. At first it was for us but then she had the nerve to tell me she got some couple's "want to adopt your baby" card from the pregnancy test section in Walmart and HAD CONTACTED THEM AND SENT THEM PICTURES OF BABY BOY. That was an even worse blow. Complain about baby I love, tell me I can have it, take that back, tell me I can have him AGAIN, wait take THAT back again, and then tell me you're considering giving him up to a couple of people on a card you saw stuck in the pregnancy tests at Walmart????? Now because she liked this d-bag baby daddy for whatever reason she made sure he was involved just enough to not lose his parental rights and thus couldn't give up the baby for adoption BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT HE ACTUALLY WANTED TO BE WITH HER OR SOMETHING and they could be a FAMILY! WHICH WAS ABSOLUTE INSANITY! THIS GUY WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH EITHER OF YOU. JUST A SAY THAT HIS BOY CANT BE ADOPTED TO A LOVING FAMILY. WHAT SELFISH A$$HOLES! It just broke my heart. Well then she asks me if I can watch the baby overnights when she works (get this, she's actually a labor and delivery nurse) because her ex would not watch him and baby-daddy is No where to be found. I told her no and this was for a multitude of reasons but i just couldn't do it to myself. Treat this baby like my own but never really have him. So my "friend" actually tells me "you guys have been a big help to me but i feel you haven't helped me with what i needed most and that's CHILDCARE!!!! THE NERVE!! WE DID NOTHING BUT HELP YOUR SORRY ASS WHO CARES MORE ABOUT HERSELF THAN HER BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN. So needless to say we had another huge falling out. The last thing i ever let her say to me was, "You know what? I hope you two don't have a baby because if you did, it would be f*cked up!" This was, to me, unforgiveable. And i never answered another text, phone call, apology again. Me and dh still said hi to the kids and she would shoo them inside like we were going to attack them or something. She ended up giving the kids to her abusive ex husband and got a brand new car instead. The baby's gone too. I'm sure she adopted him out to a nice couple. She still lives across the street. We do not speak or even acknowledge each others presence because she is the most careless and selfish B I will ever know.

Sorry about the long saga but this has been weighing on my heart for a long time and i needed to get it out.