What am I doing wrong?

[Sophiejash]

Breast feeding, no one said it was so hard. I'm struggling to get it to work with my almost 2 week old baby. He's latches on, off, on, off, falls asleep and to top it all off when he's on it's really painful. Midwife says it should never be painful and if it is then take him off and latch him on again. Well I do that but it's always the same. I gave up with my daughter after only a few weeks and really wanted it to work this time but feel like I'm about to give up again. I'm expressing as much as I can and giving that to him so he's still having all me at the moment. I just want it to work and not be painful. Any advise?

 

[Aelyana]

Hugs to you. It is hard and not many ppl talk about it.

For one the pain thing is tricky; we all get told it shouldn't hurt and if it does to unlatch and try again. This is good advice because if you tough it out w a bad latch, you will crack your nipples which is agony plus baby may get blood w milk which makes them nauseous.

That said, for me, good latches also hurt in the beginning. Just because my nipples weren't used to it. Eventually I started being able to feel the difference but it was difficult and hit and miss with my first baby (with my second I knew what to expect which helped it go smoothly faster).

Lanolin helped me a lot w pain from good latches btw.

If you want to continue bring, which it sound like you do, I would recommend you get advice from a lactation specialist in your area if that's an option. They are fab

Finally I just wanted to say sometimes it doesn't work that's ok too! For some people that struggle really negatively impacts their experience with their newborn. Which is sad and I think not necessary. it is ok to quit sometimes. The main thing is that baby is getting fed, be it formula or breast, and that you are both feeling ok

 

[meg_bellamy]

Hey hun has anyone checked for a tongue tie?

 

[Cowgirl07]

The first week hurt no matter what we did. I used lanolin like crazy and it got better by 10 days.
Talk to your dr or lc. My husband watched the videos the hospital gave on it and he helped too.

 

[noon_child]

There is a difference between painful at times and painful all the time and causing damage.

Even when a newborn latches well it can hurt for the first 20 - 30 seconds because:
1) your nipples are hormonally sensitive like at no other time
2) newborns with their small mouths often have to suck the nipple in to the right place in their mouth, rather than be able to get it right to the back in one go.

If your nipples are painful for longer than the first 30 seconds, or come out of the feed damaged, squashed, angled or pinched then the latch is not right (no matter how good someone says it is from the outside).

The on, off, on, off and constantly falling asleep is VERY NORMAL, however if your LO does have an issue that is stopping him latching correctly or sucking properly then these normal behaviours will be exaggerated as he may be getting too exhausted to stay on long enough.

What support do you have nearby? Can you access a board certified lactation consultant?

Oh and most importantly YOU ARE NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG

 

[Sophiejash]

Thanks everyone. He's not tongue tied and in fact has an incredibly good suck which is why I think it hurts so much. I find I'm expressing as much as I can and end up just giving him that due to ease rather than being persistent with the breast. Also think he's not getting it quick enough which is why he keeps coming off and crying. I try to wait and leave him trying on the breast and stay calm, but find I get wound up and end up going 'forget it'. I have spoken to the breast people help, they say my technique is good I'm just struggling with the fact it's not clicking xx

 

[minties]

I've never had such sore nipples as with my third. Left is still cracked as she will be 3 weeks old in a few days. She doesn't EVER open up wide, she makes a fish 'O' mouth and licks, then sucks the nipple in and it hurts. I can't get her to open her mouth wide to nurse, but her yawns are massive so I know she can do it.

 

[loved2830]

Best advice I got from a lactation specialist is to give the baby a tender loving shove into your breast!

What a difference that made for me! Both of my nipples are cracked but almost healed now. The left one was the worst! I also started using nipple sheilds just until this is all healed up. I also do not use lanolin, i find that expressing breast milk on my nipples helps heal them.

As far as the baby crying and pulling off, my daughter does the same but that is just because she is so hungry she wants it now! Its normal but I just talk to my daughter and tell her its already there.. and just talk to her until she calms down. It gets better....I am a 1st time mom and I will not be giving up on breast feeding despite the difficulties. Keep pushing through!

 

[meg_bellamy]

That reminds me that in the beginning my baby would go suck suck suck then come off again and again, it really worried me that I didn't have enough milk but I think it can just take a bit longer for a newborn to get the let down to happen, and it takes them a long time to get a proper feed (foremilk and hindmilk) so they are on for a long time, cluster feeding etc and falling asleep mid-feed. When they are older they become so much more efficient, my 8 month old is all done and dusted in like 2 mins now LOL! I wish you the best, it will get easier

 

[happynewmom1]

Even after nursing our first two for a little over a yeard, it wasn't any easier starting out this time. She wouldn't open her mouth enough for a good latch. I ended up hurting so much and had blood blisters on my Nipples but with lots of lanolin cream, working on her latch and pumping here and there for a break, we pushed through. Once they are older, latch is better and cluster feeding done, it's a lot easier. I'm so sorry nobody told you it could start out difficult.

I did want to say that every so often even though I knew the latch was 100% correct, I'd still feel sore sometimes. Especially when she was younger.

Hang in there. It does get better and you are not doing anything wrong

 

[Mrs W 11]

It definitely isn't easy for everyone. When my dd was born bfing was a big shock! It was really, really painful and I soon discovered she was clamping my nipple (nipple was squashed and lipstick shaped after feed) and it was painful during the feed but mostly afterwards for about 30 minutes. I saw so many experts for advice and they all said we were doing everything right but my dd must just have a small mouth. Eventually it got better and we went on until 14 months.

My ds has just arrived and exactly the same, he clamps the nipple and its agony when he latches, OK during the feed, painful at the end when he gets lazy/sleepy and after the feed the pain is awful and stops me going back to sleep during the night. I will push on though because I know it gets so much better and easier.

Have a good think about what you want to do. There is no shame in deciding you want to move to formula if that's going to make for a happy mummy and baby. But if you do want to continue bfing, find some local support groups and experts and know that it will get easier soon.

 

[_Meep_]

Mine never opened her mouth very wide either, and she clicked during her feeds - turned out she had a posterior tongue tie (hidden at the back, and invisible under her membrane!). Does yours make clicking noises at all?

We suffered several awful nursing strikes but finally got to the root of the issue and had a revision at 4.5 months. Things gradually improved and we're still going at 2 years and 1 month! So anything's possible.

 

[Left wonderin]

Best advice I ever got was a simple thing but made a HUge difference .
I was told to remember at ever feed check that baby is tummy to tummy ... His/her tummy facing yours . And its nipple to nose that way the open wide enough to latch properly and not jus the nipple . Try it

 

[Mrs W 11]

Meep, no he doesn't click.

Left - yep we always close tummy to tummy hold and nose to nipple. He doesn't ever open his mouth wide enough.

 

[_Meep_]

I wonder if you could try lying on your back with him on top? This can definitely help get a deeper latch, especially if your baby has a little mouth and quite a receded chin as mine did in the early days. It depends on the size of your boobs somewhat though - we couldn't do it at first as I had quite some serious oversupply going on and her little head got swamped lol.

 

[lauraine1]

Hey, don't get so much confused. All the suggestions and advice provide the community members are really good and i really appreciate this. But according to me, that's not enough thing, you have to put efforts from your side. Read some novels about babies, some articles, some threads and all.There are lots of websites which provides brief knowledge regarding babies. You should have to try all this. Thanks. God bless you.