What are my options now?

[Mair]

Hi Ladies,

Firstly I just want to say I feel for all of you going through mc or just coming out of the other side of one. I wish you the best of luck next time round. I just wondered if anyone had any advice for me. A quick bit of history. I've been trying to conceive for the last 2.5 years. In which time I've had 3 mc's. The last one being last month. I turned 40 in February so am well aware that time is not on my side but really thought it would be 3rd time lucky for me so I have to say the 3rd mc has left me feeling with an odd mix of hopelessness but also a feeling of "I can't let this beat me" (does that make sense?). As you can see it takes me a while to conceive, 10 months first time, one month (fluke!) second time, 11 months third time. After my 2nd mc my Dr did do lots of tests, which all came back OK and my mc's were put down to bad luck. After my 3rd my Dr said he would refer me to the Infertility clinic to cross the i's dot the t's etc. He also made the comment that they would find out if my eggs and my husbands sperm are not compatible (must admit I had not heard of that before, so that has sent me into a whole new world of worry). Anyway, sorry to ramble, I made my appointment with the Infertility clinic yesterday for 2nd June, only to have a phone call this morning from my Dr's secretary to say my appointment has been cancelled by the clinic as I am too old. Apparently my Dr is horrified and has written to the head of the Infertility clinc asking them to see me. Now, my question is, if the clinic wont see me what are my options? Do I just carry on ttc in the hope that my previous mc's were bad luck? I'm happy to look into the option of a Private Fertility clinic (if I'm not too old), but the main thing I want to find out is why I'm mcing. Does a private clinic look into those kinds of things? If it's not going to happen for me I'd really like to know before I get too far down the fertility route.
Sorry this was very long-winded but I'd appreciate any advice/hear of anyone's similar experiences.

Thanks, Mair

 

[africaqueen]

Hi Mair.

Firstly i am so sorry for your losses and i think its terrible that the clinic wont look into the reasons why, due to your age! i know here in the UK the max age for fertility treatments on the NHS is 39, but i think its bad they wont test u as regards your mc's! :-O

If u opt to go private, it is quite costly but there is no age limit as such. They will do all the required testing and you will not have to wait very long for a appt either. Some NHS areas allow you to pay and u are treated/tested in the same hospital by the same Dr but the difference is that you are paying for your tests etc so no NHS funding getting spent... save that for the more important things such as drug rehab and gastric bypasses eh? ;-) i mean we know the two are still important but fertility issues are not self induced are they? there is no age limit for the other two and both cost the NHS a fortune each year. Sorry for going off on a tangent, just dnt like how unfair the NHS is towards older women ttc

I wish u every luck and hope u get some answers. U are not too old by far. My ex boss had her son when she was 46 ;-)

xxx

 

[hb1]

I don't see how you can be too old too have your recurrent mc looked in to - I thought that the max age was more to do with IVF - maybe contact RCOG to find out what your rights are - or the miscarriage association?

https://www.miscarriageassociation....tigations following recurrent miscarriage.pdf

Wishing you all the best in your quest for answers and a baby to hold

hx

 

[Mair]

Hi africaqueen and HB1, Many thanks for your replies and advice. Thanks HB1, for the link, that was very interesting and I think I need to look into where I can get these tests done if not on the NHS. I think I'll make an appointment with my Doctor to see if he can refer me again to the clinic, privately this time, when age isn't a problem, or maybe he can tell me where else I can go.

Africaqueen, I agree with you, fertility problems are not self-induced and I would not begrudge anyone treatment on the NHS. I suppose they have to draw the line somewhere, but I like to think I may have a few fertile years left in me, so it would be good to have some answers.

It's not going to stop me trying and hopefully it will be 4th time luck for me soon.

Mair

 

[AS1]

Hi Mair

So sorry for your losses - I too have had 3 mc over the last 2.5 years. I have had my testing done and they have found the 'possible' problem for which I am require surgery, my 3 were almost identical though and hbeat seen each time so I wasn't prepared to accept that they were 'bad luck'!. It's great news that all your results came back clear after the 2nd mc.....were these blood tests? If so do you know what further testing was going to be done at the infertility clinic? I can't believe that they said you were 'too old' its such a postcode lottery with regard to the service you receive for mc. If I were you I would probably be inclined to just go for it again!!

 

[Omi]

I think your problem is your local authority (NHS) as i was in the same exact situation albeit with 'only' 2 mc's. Tests came back with underactive thyroid, but i too went to my GP and he spoke to the fertility clinic and although i too am too old for any ivf etc they were happy to take me on for any and all tests - which im grateful for. Apparently i was classified with 'secondary subfertility' which regardless of age would have made me uneligible for ivf anyway, as we got pg on our own and ivf cant cure having had a mc.

But i digress..what to do? I think you should try your dr again. Have a chat about what tests you would like to do/ think you need and see if he would want to and be able to get you referred for them anyway. There's ways about this if only the will is there on his part. Have you had your womb looked at? Could you have polyps, endo etc? Have you had tests for std's (don't ask..im having then done for some reason, i guess to rule out chlamydia etc..although its a fat chance in my book..but hey if they wanna do it! )

Have a look at this web site ttp://www.repro-med.net/repro-med-site2 its for a world renowned mc specialist ( i got his book too) and his clinic (his now deceased but his clinic is running strong) for info if nothing else...

I know having had 3 mc's you are naturally left with questions and doubt but even you know that (the old chestnut) statistics are still in your favour, that you could carry to term next time.

I hope and pray you have some luck both with your dr and your quest for a baby, hun!

OMi xxx

 

[Mair]

Hi there AS1 and Omi, thanks for taking the time to answer me. AS1, sorry to hear you had 3 mc's too. Hopefully your surgery will correct your problem and you will soon have the baby you long for. Omi, you sent me a very nice reply when I was on here a year ago after my second miscarriage. I think at the time you said that you had found your problem and just needed to wait before you could ttc again. Hopefully you're able to try again now and will soon have some good news.

I think I'm very lucky with my Doctor as apparently he is writing to the clinic asking them to see me, hopefully explaining that it's not fertility treatment I need but some more investigation. My Doctor did do lots of tests after my 2nd MC, which I'm grateful for as I understand you usually have to wait for your 3rd mc before anything if done. I had a scan to check for polyps, endo etc. and apparently I have a "text-book" womb. Omi, I was checked too for std's etc. and everything was fine there. Apparently I don't have the gene that pre-disposes me to mc'ing and there were plenty of other blood tests too. The only blood test which threw up a problem was the one for the thyroid, apparently I am on the cusp of having an underactive thyroid, normal level is 5 and mine is 5.2, however my Doctor assured me that this wasn't the cause of my mcing and that it really did look like it was down to bad luck. I suppose that is why the 3rd one has hit me quite hard as I really did believe it would be third time lucky for me. I don't know what other tests the clinic would do (if I'd made it that far!). I plan to see my Doctor in a few days, once there has been time for him to receive a reply to his letter, just to find out what else I need testing for and where I can get it done. I have also emailed a private fertility clinic in Colchester to see if they do any testing but haven't had a response next. Omi, I will look at the site you sent through and also re-read my "Avoiding misccariage" book. I must admit, last time I read it, as each one of my miscarriages has occurred at different times, it also gave me hope that it was just bad luck. I will be keeping my fingers crossed for all of us!

 

[Omi]

Hi hun,

Can i just say i too was on the cusp, or rather subclinical thyroid disease as they call it and apart from a few things i wasn't a textbook case. However, they found it enough to put me on the low dose 50mcg to start with but within 4 months they re-tested me and upped me to 75mcg. I have to say i did feel better once on it, but then again that's me!

I would say however, that according to leading fertility endocrinologists they actually want the number to be quite different for fertility purposes. Now im not saying there's anything wrong and you are very right to point out that it cannot be proven to be the reason for my mc's but i do question why a) some want it to be different (lower) b) the UK is quite conservative in their thyroid treatment in case of numbers/levels (as mentioned they're lower elsewhere) and c) if you're nearly low on thyroxine when pg and the baby doesn't produce any (until 12 weeks) - where do you get the extra for the baby? Im just asking...and admitted im no expert

Have a look at this https://thyroid.about.com/library/weekly/aa050199.htm

I wish you all the best and im very glad you have a lovely doc, mine's the same and they're like gold dust

Omi xxx

 

[Mair]

Hi again Omi, thanks for your reply. That's really interesting (and worrying!) I didn't really look too far into subclinical hypo-thyroidism when it was mentioned as my doctor really assured me it wouldn't be the problem! I'm due a check-up blood test this month to make sure it hasn't raised, so I think I'll book that now and also that appointment with my doctor. Thank you for letting me know about this. I'm not sure how I feel at the moment, if that is the problem then maybe I didn't need to go through mc no. 3. How long did it take for your levels to drop, if you don't mind me asking?

 

[AS1]

Mair - I really hope you get sorted - I know we sometimes look for answers believe me I had myself diagnosed with everything and every symptom except the thing I turned out to have!! I know it dosen't make things any easier and I can't think of the right way to phrase this but I would take some comfort that the mc occurred at different times as this is often what happens with really horrible 'luck'! Even after 2 identical mmc (both missed, same time, no bleeding etc..) I turned down testing as I was still hopeful but after the third happened exactly the same way I knew it was more than a coincidence......I really hope you can ttc again and that the next one is a sticky xx

 

[Mair]

Thanks AS1, I know exactly what you are saying and I agree. I've really tried not to get hung up on the TTC side of things but looks like I've made up for it worrying about the MC! I will be TTC with a positive outlook (but maybe with a few more tests along the way). I wish you the best of luck for the future too.