What can i say?

[mumoffive]

The girl next door is constantly round in our garden when my kids are out. They do enjoy having her round but i feel because its the holidays that its daily and im fed up with it. I would just like to be outside with my own children and have some private family time. I dont let my kids out of the garden tbh but she has been out and about since she has been about 3. She doesnt bother coming to the door, just appears in my back and i find it just a bit too much. I have three children and find that her presence very often upsets the applecart and i have also falling out. Also she puts my dd up to asking for things like biscuits and drinks. It took me a while to realise this until i asked my dd who was asking for it. Anyway, she is in my garden ALL day sometimes and i feel that im babysitting her. Its annoying. How can i say to her that she cant come round without being nasty about it. Dont get me wrong, im happy with her round sometimes. Just not EVERY single minute of the day!

 

[Mummy May]

Could you maybe approach her Mum? If not you could just say something like, ohh time to go home now - were having a family lunch or whatever xx

 

[mumoffive]

I just feel so awkward as her mum has kind of said to me in the past..i hope its ok..and i just cant bring myself to say anything. She used to go and play in other kids gardens but she is constantly round at ours. My dh is also getting fed up with it. He suggested that we say to her that she can stay for a given time and then it will be time for her to go home. I just feel its all so awkward but quite simply i dont want her round daily. I like my garden to myself and my kids! I like to be able to feel i can give out an ice lolly without having her there as i feel i need to give her one too!

 

[Mummy May]

Yeah I know what you mean, I had a friend who always used to come round and my mother used to tell her it was her home time haha. Xx

 

[Baby Bell]

It must be so awkward, but I think best thing o be is honest. Go speak to her mum, tell her your happy for the wee girl to come round and play, but would prefer she came to the door first as sometimes your having family time. I bet the mum would be alright so long as your polite

 

[Larkspur]

Yeah, I wouldn't be afraid to say something polite but firm to the mum. She can't have failed to notice that someone else is looking after her kid most of the time at the moment.

 

[Eleanor ace]

You could try talking to her mum and inviting the girl to play at a specific time, maybe say "I was wondering whether x would like to come and play on Tuesday afternoon? I'd make it sooner but you know how it is, we've got lots of family time planned! ". Hopefully if you make it a by-invitation thing her mum will realise she shouldn't just let her pop round.

 

[july2013]

This is a tough one. I'd just have a polite word with the mom saying sometimes you'd prefer to have some family time, and often her coming over upsets the apple cart and the kids won't finish their dinner etc because they just want to go out and play with her...

 

[+tivethoughts]

Slightly different here. But... when we go round to my dads with our son and my sister brings her son (they are 2&3) the 10 yo boy next door invites himself over. Its very uncomfortable, its EVERY time we go round which is often. The kids wont eat their dinners etc and he has even started to take it upon himself to tell them off if they're not doing something right. Its ended in tears a lot of times. He is beginning to grate on us! My dad thinks he's harmless and tells us dont be mean as he is an only child....but it's hard cos he's always there and the kkids have even started saying they don't want him there.

He even asks them to share their biscuits/sweets/drinks etc. Its becoming a bit much.

I'd go with the "its time to go home now" route. Good luck xx

 

[mumoffive]

Im just not brave enough to speak to the mum tbh and dont want to make a huge issue of it. My dd and ds for the most part are happy having her around and not mature enough to realise that she can be manipulative which does my head in. +fivethoughts, im so glad im not alone!! Again, today she came round and i told her that when we got the paddling pool out that it would be time to go home. She had a good play with both my older children and then went when the pool was filled up. It was bliss for me as my two generally play good together and are not noisy. I heard her go into her garden and her mum seemed surprised to have her back!!! I was hoping she got the message but after they had finished...she appeared again. I didnt want to be too mean all at the one time so next time she appears she will be told firmly to knock at the front door before . appearing in my garden. Thanks so much for everybodies replies. Its actually been very helpful and reassuring im not being mean and selfish!!

 

[Pandora11]

bless maybe she's hungry? I think parents are very patient to have over other peoples kids. I read a thread on moneysaving expert of people that had kids coming round all the time without permission!. Anyway, she's a kid, i didn't have the guts to question an adult so maybe just say. 'Not today' or 'maybe another day' and invest on a lock for the gate?

 

[mumoffive]

She is actually quite overweight so dont think she goes hungry! I cant put a lock on my garden as its quite open and is shared with my other neighbour sadly. I will just have to say to her and hopefully she and her mum will get the message!!!