What changes have you made?

[NatoPMT]

thats brilliant news sparkler!! hope youre ok about the 1 month from your loss, but Im glad its mixed up with good news and spotting has got to be a good sign. You usually spot before the af arrives then? mine usually arrives with a bit more of a flourish, but have no idea what to expect this month - lemme know how you get on poppet

i tell you what though, i have spots and crappy skin like ive never had before. i assume its because my hormones are constantly trying to right themselves, is anyone else spotty instead of spotting?

 

[Lindyloo]

Hi... just wondered if I could ask a quick question.

when we were ttc before I was taking EPO pre O, folic acid and Soya Isoflavines days 2-6. then using progesterone cream post O. What I wondered was if anyone started using EPO straight after their MC or waited until after their first AF???

I will be doing the same again but this time I will be exercising alot more, I have always been fairly fit and felt that I suffered because of during my last pregnancy... I get alot of mental strength from exercising so it has to be worth it!!!

 

[NatoPMT]

<refers to book>

why are you taking EPO lindy, for what specific reason? hormone regulation? Dr Marilyn says to take omega 3 for prostaglandins, to decrease premature birth and low birth weight and that it also helps with clotting issues in recurrent miscarriage. doesnt mention EPO at all, she says if you want a vegetarian omega 3, to take flaxseed oil but not as much is converted to EPA and DHA so fish oil is more effective.

I have started taking omega 3 straight away, but apart from the reasons she lists, im not sure why im taking it <useless>

will look it up tomorrow though

 

[Sydd]

whats the deal with that Sydd? does he not want to try straight away?

No. He is adamant on waiting till at least sept (due date) so hey ho back to the pill I go as I know me being pg before then will probably make him go insane.

TBF, as much as it pains me to say... It will probably be best gives me a chance to attempt to pass this year of uni finish and find a job and us to move out etc so we're in a not so stressful position.....

I'm still hoping I will change his mind though

 

[Sparkly]

thats brilliant news sparkler!! hope youre ok about the 1 month from your loss, but Im glad its mixed up with good news and spotting has got to be a good sign. You usually spot before the af arrives then? mine usually arrives with a bit more of a flourish, but have no idea what to expect this month - lemme know how you get on poppet

i tell you what though, i have spots and crappy skin like ive never had before. i assume its because my hormones are constantly trying to right themselves, is anyone else spotty instead of spotting?

I'm very spotty and still spotting!!!!! I normally spot a little then the flourish begins, doesn't seem to happening yet though.....so I hope it is AF! My hormones seem to be all over the place atm.

Turns out I'm not ok about the 1 month anniversary, and neither is my DH, he was in a foul mood last night, I had to work really hard to get him to open up and talk about it, but at least he did in the end. I feel a bit low and very tired today.

On the upside, my dieting is paying off big time!! I've dropped 8 lbs

 

[Lindyloo]

<refers to book>

why are you taking EPO lindy, for what specific reason? hormone regulation? Dr Marilyn says to take omega 3 for prostaglandins, to decrease premature birth and low birth weight and that it also helps with clotting issues in recurrent miscarriage. doesnt mention EPO at all, she says if you want a vegetarian omega 3, to take flaxseed oil but not as much is converted to EPA and DHA so fish oil is more effective.

I have started taking omega 3 straight away, but apart from the reasons she lists, im not sure why im taking it <useless>

will look it up tomorrow though

Hi, thank you. I was taking it when we were ttc before to help regulation and it seemed to work with me better than AC or anything else. I hadnt heard anything about omega 3 but if that is what is recomended that I will take that instead.
Be great to hear more about it though, and I'll have a look into it too. Thanks again

 

[elli]

Hi everyone,
This is my first ever post! Have been lurking for a while but not brave enough to post anything

I'm 32 and so is my DH. Had a missed mc a year ago, and an early mc at about 4w4d last month.

After the first mc I was so scared of it happening again. I got totally obsessive about healthy eating, stopped wearing makeup, drinking anything but water, even started using an organic parabens-free, SLS-free, aluminium-free deodorant (which, I can now admit to myself, probably doesn't work very well ).

The funny thing is, after the 2nd mc I am still very anxious about the future, but nowhere near as obsessive about trying to control things. I think that's partly because my first pregnancy was unexpected so I was convinced that the mc was because of something I'd done before finding out I was pregnant, like drinking coffee, but also because I've spent the months since then dreading another mc because I didn't think I could cope with it.

Now it's happened, of course it's devastating, but it's also sort of liberating (probably not the right word, sorry - not quite sure how to explain it) in that having feared the worst, then had the worst happen, but coped with it (well, sort of!), there's nothing left to be scared of, so I'm a lot less neurotic about things than I was before, and I think I've stopped blaming myself so much as well. So, I'm going to stick to the changes that genuinely make me feel more healthy, but ease up on some of the other things.

Good luck to everyone here. Stay strong.

 

[heart tree]

Hi elli and welcome! You put things in good perspective. It is important for us all to remember that there is no evidence that anything we did (or didn't do) caused our losses. My mother constantly reminds me that there are women in war torn areas and women who live in extreme poverty and are starving who go on to have healthy babies. I'm also reminded by colleagues of mine who work with female addicts who go on to have healthy babies and they have been using drugs during their pregnancy.

For me, taking extra vitamins, herbs and doing acupuncture helps me feel like I'm in a little more control of a situation that feels uncontrollable. As a self admitted control freak, it helps ease my nerves. I appreciate you reminding me that what is most important is to stick to changes that make me feel healthy and ease up on things that just make me feel neurotic.

On that note...Nato and Lindyloo, I take EPO to increase CM. I don't have much naturally and it has helped enormously in that department.

 

[MinnieMone]

Elli - welcome to the forum, glad you decided to join!

hearttree - I really hear what you say and agree that I have to stop thinking that it's something that i did/or didn't do...

I'm quite enviable of those who are being so regimented but apart from taking my aspirin/folic acid and stopping smoking, which I took up again after my last mc (yes Nato, honest I have!), eating healthily and trying to keep my weight down (as it helps my PCOS), I can't let this take over my life. I already feel as though since the moment I found out I was pregnant last October and the 2 subsequent mc's that it is all I have thought of, and not a hour goes by when I don't, and usually not a week where I'm not weeping.

I'm more trying to get myself mentally strong for getting pregnant again..... hopefully my body next time, won't let me down, and if it does I won't be able to control that... it will be getting through it anxiety wise which will be the battle for me.

 

[NatoPMT]

Hi Ellie - thanks for posting - sorry about your 2 losses petal, and glad you are finding a medium that you are more comfortable with. I think a lot of the time, if its gonna happen, its gonna happen

Sparkles and anyone else - i just dont know whats going on with me, can anyone shed any light?

Day 1 - EPRC
Day 9 - spotting stops - negative hcg test
Day 11 - start testing opks - positive every day since
Day 23 (today) mild cramping in afternoon and this evening, and ive just noticed i have a bit of blood in cm.

it could be ovulation cramping as Im 15 days after bleeding stopped, but ive never had ovulation cramps or spotting before. My opks have been positive for 13 days running, no very strong lines, today its very very faint, almost cant see it, faintest positive ive had for 13 days - do you think im ovulating? If the spotting picks up, i understand that will mean i still have tissue, and the cramping has picked up this evening. Baaaaah

Great news on the 8lbs matey!! well done. How are you feeling about the anniversary this evening? glad oh talked about it - its important to keep communicating.

thats for that info on EPO hearty, i dont think i have cm issues, but the first time i used pre seed i conceived - what a horrible name for a product that is

Hi Mone - big hug sweetie, im sorry youre still in tears my lovely, i wish there was something i could do - but well bloody done on the smoking - that will help with conception too - massive achievement. When do you start trying again? Are you going to leave a gap or start straight away?

Sydd - are you ok with waiting till Sept? what are his reasons - is it anything to do with the due date? It might be good to have a break and concentrate on just being you, if you are ok with that. You gotta do what's right, but stress apparently doesnt really affect mc, unless its massive stress. The stress of TTC might not be good though, if you have all that other stuff going on. I think uni is extremely important, you dont want to be focussing on TTc or worrying about sticking if you got pregnant around the time of your exams, you gotta focus on the exams cos (in TTC terms) you have to make a future to support the family that will come your way

 

[Sparkly]

Sparkles and anyone else - i just dont know whats going on with me, can anyone shed any light?

Day 1 - EPRC
Day 9 - spotting stops - negative hcg test
Day 11 - start testing opks - positive every day since
Day 23 (today) mild cramping in afternoon and this evening, and ive just noticed i have a bit of blood in cm.

it could be ovulation cramping as Im 15 days after bleeding stopped, but ive never had ovulation cramps or spotting before. My opks have been positive for 13 days running, no very strong lines, today its very very faint, almost cant see it, faintest positive ive had for 13 days - do you think im ovulating? If the spotting picks up, i understand that will mean i still have tissue, and the cramping has picked up this evening. Baaaaah

Great news on the 8lbs matey!! well done. How are you feeling about the anniversary this evening? glad oh talked about it - its important to keep communicating.

Not sure really hun, but I do have ovulation pain and spotting when I do ovulate, and buckets of ewcm, but that's just me. I'm not very good with opks so I just use my cbfm. It's so frustrating when we don't know what's happening with our own bodies isn't it, I'm so used to having a regular cycle and knowing exactly what's happening!!! My own spotting has now disappeared completely, and no AF, so I've no idea what's going on now

I've spent most of today just sat on the couch crying on and off, and I feel and look like crap, really cba! DH came home and we had a cuddle and I had a little nap, he had to drag himself to work this morning, and now he has turned his phone off which is really unlike him (as he is self employed) but he cba either! I need to do some ironing tonight, as my DS is running out of clothes to wear for college!! So I will have to force myself to do that!! I hate the down days.

 

[Sydd]

Sydd - are you ok with waiting till Sept? what are his reasons - is it anything to do with the due date? It might be good to have a break and concentrate on just being you, if you are ok with that. You gotta do what's right, but stress apparently doesnt really affect mc, unless its massive stress. The stress of TTC might not be good though, if you have all that other stuff going on. I think uni is extremely important, you dont want to be focussing on TTc or worrying about sticking if you got pregnant around the time of your exams, you gotta focus on the exams cos (in TTC terms) you have to make a future to support the family that will come your way

Yeah Sept is when I would have been due.. That's his main reason. He's quite a closed book about personal stuff so he doesn't really talk about the mc which I think would help him cope. I would rather ntnp from June.. But I guess I have to conceed really. I'd rather keep him and know that it IS coming then be selfish and lose him. (How corny do I sound!!!)

I wanted to leave Uni around Decemeber time anyway just isn't right for me and as lovely as people are here... The people I know back home are better. I was on pill when we conceived, so wasn't planned before but it's completely changed how I want my life to be and stuff.. Was gunna drop out but then a whole whirlwind of stuff happened so I thought I may as well come back down here now and finish the year out with some good night outs lol. I'd rather do Uni through OU and be able to work and feel like an adult... Miss going out for proper meals, DRIVING etc etc.

 

[NatoPMT]

hugs to you both

Sparkler i think we are having similar experiences, the cramping has stepped up tonight, and if i didnt know better, id think it was af - im on day 23 so nearly a month. From what i read sparkly, if its retained tissue, it should pick up the bleeding, but yours isnt doing that so mebbes youre ovulating not afing - have you ovulated already?. I dont ovulate like this so im worried its not that and this is day 1 again

sorry youre feeling crappy - crappy ironing, crappy spots, crappy spotting, crappy mobile-turned-off

Sydd, you gotta do what you gotta poppet. It does sound like theres practical reasons to wait, but i know waiting is torture, even for just a few weeks. Sounds like youve got some deciding to do though, im working and studying at the same time cos i cant afford not to work and would miss the pennies and ability to buy expensive chocolate <priorities>

 

[mlyn26]

Made no changes, infact 'm worse, been drinking alcohol again - approx 4 units only per week whereas i had no alcohol for 1.5 months before BFP and none whatsoever during 9+2 weeks pregnancy. I am comfort eating so eating junk and drinking more caffeine. BUT am still taking my pre-natals. I guess once i feel better the junk and caffeine will reduce naturally.

 

[heart tree]

Made no changes, infact 'm worse, been drinking alcohol again - approx 4 units only per week whereas i had no alcohol for 1.5 months before BFP and none whatsoever during 9+2 weeks pregnancy. I am comfort eating so eating junk and drinking more caffeine. BUT am still taking my pre-natals. I guess once i feel better the junk and caffeine will reduce naturally.

mlyn, I did the same thing after my first mc. Yours is so recent. Have some alcohol, junk and caffeine for now if it makes you feel better. I did and after a while I realized I had enough and wanted to be healthy again. You'll get there too. So sorry for your loss.

 

[NatoPMT]

mlyn, i did too, i went mental with the chocolate, got drunk on 3 half lagers and started smoking again when i found out, i went a few weeks doing all the things you really shouldnt and i needed that release. The prenatals are important as they build up stores of the right vitamins so thats the one thing you shouldnt drop, and havent. when you feel strong enough, you can address the other stuff if you want

on the alcohol thing as well, i read a study last night which compared 10 units per week vs less than 5 per week - the less than 5 were being used as the goody goodys who dont have the same probs as the more than 10 a week group, so you are still in goody goody bracket with 4 units, you wild thing

today, the cramping has stopped, still got brown cm but i just got a negative OPK

wooooo HOOOOOO

i dont know why im woo hooing, but i am. there were no fertility signs with the cramping, but at least somethings changed, which hopefully means im going into the next hormonal stage - cant work out what stage that might be, but its gotta be moving on to somewhere which is better than staying put

ive been on the biscuits today. and have a facepack on chin trying to delete spots which refuse to budge.

Sparkly, hope youre feeling a bit better than yesterday, poppet

 

[Sydd]

Sydd, you gotta do what you gotta poppet. It does sound like theres practical reasons to wait, but i know waiting is torture, even for just a few weeks. Sounds like youve got some deciding to do though, im working and studying at the same time cos i cant afford not to work and would miss the pennies and ability to buy expensive chocolate <priorities>

Yes lots of decisions
Hopefully I'll have a ray of light soon.. I've always done things on a kinda impulse thing though... Literally decided one day was gunna do college and Uni and applied day before college started then day before UCAS was due I randomly picked the Unis to apply to and stuff ha. I drive myelf INSANE if I think too much. Which is ALL I've been doing!

So really, I think I'll piss everyone off by passing this semester of Uni (family don't think I'll be able to) and then start working on building a new future from there, hopefully with a sticky bean and baby not to long after!

OH has just started a yoth project which if successful we'd easily be able to move out on his wage. So that's at least one good thing. Where he lives now I couldn't deal with living with him!

 

[mlyn26]

So sweet of you all, made me feel better. x

 

[Sparkly]

Sparkly, hope youre feeling a bit better than yesterday, poppet

I am hun, thank you for asking

How are you doing? Did the biscuits and facepack do the trick? x

 

[NatoPMT]

a bit, but then i picked at 2 spots and i have welts on my face. which makes me look very glamorous i can tell you

the bumps under my chin skin look a little less obvious today but i know they are still there. like silent chin skin assassins. hopefully them going down a bit is also a sign of hormones doing new things instead of getting stuck inside pimples.

glad youre feeling a bit better today, thats good, i am very glad about that, and i am very glad the posts help you mlyn, you have no need to feel bad, you should let your hair down a bit.

ahh sydd, you sound a bit like me, i am miss impulsive but its always getting me in trouble, not good impulsive like going to uni. i took about 5 years procrastinating about whether i should start studying again, its only cos i kept getting sacked that i did do it. why cant i be impulsive about good stuff too. My family don't have much faith in me either. Can you do extra well and piss mine off too please. Having an unsupportive family can really erode your esteem, you do well petal and show yourself as well as them how damned good you are

Thanks for cheering me up all of ya too xx